My previous post was about my mother, Betty, about her life growing up and how she lived. This one is about her and what I remember. Most of the time period I’m talking about here is from the early 60s through 1987 when she died.
My mother was casual. She didn’t have jobs where she had to wear business clothes. She didn’t wear jeans (I don’t think she ever had a pair?!), but she wore comfortable clothes. She wore dresses to church every week along with a hat until we didn’t have to wear them anymore. In our 20s, my dad would give us money to go Christmas shopping for clothes for her. I think we did a pretty good job! We would find pants and nice tops and sweaters. She always seemed happy to get them and wore them so I guess she did! I liked doing that.
My mother didn’t wear makeup. She probably had some 20-year-old stuff hanging around and I remember one time Janice put it on her when she was going out. That must be why I have no idea (or think I have no idea) how to put it on!
My mother was LOUD! When we were young and playing in the neighborhood, she would WHISTLE for us. Like dogs! And you could hear it from just about any area of the circle (picture houses in the middle and the street is a circle around them). So embarrassing.! And when she went to football or basketball games when we were in high school her yell was so loud! My sisters and I of course, now are probably just as loud as she was!
My mother was friendly. When she went to track meets, I remember kids sitting with her and talking and she was always friendly to them. In my teenage brain I’d be saying “ugh”, but looking back, she set that example for us. I think all three of us are very comfortable and interested in what young people have to say.
My mom was involved in our school working at book sales, as part of the Mothers Circle at church, as part of the Mother of Twins Club, and with our Brownie and Girl Scout troops. But she didn’t get involved with any sports politics or try to ingratiate herself with any coaches (ok, only cheerleading coach), and when I felt the need to defend myself or my sister she was fine with it.
My dad would take us on walks or bike rides on Sundays around town to give her some time alone. I’m sure she never had to suggest it, he was more than willing, but I’m sure she really appreciated it! I imagine we three were pretty exhausting.
SHE WAS A READER! I feel like that deserves all caps. She had more books and magazines than even I have ever had! There were 2 bookcases at her childhood home on Clifton Street full of books that I’m sure were all hers. She was a member of the Readers Digest Condensed Books program with 4 books a year and each contained 4-5 books. Nancy Drew, Cherry Ames, and other teenage girl book series were on those shelves! I think some might have been above our reading maturity level, but we read them anyway and she didn’t stop us! She subscribed to 3 or 4 magazines a month that were collected on the end tables through the year(s). She would buy years worth of National Geographic magazines at tag sales. She just loved the written word. I can clearly see her sitting at the table for breakfast with a book in her lap, drinking her coffee, and eating toast. There was never a book or magazine not by her side.
She and her siblings stayed close both in their physical locations and by gathering together. They all continued to live in Wallingford and raise their families and we always got together for Christmas, Easter, and kids’ birthday parties. I’m glad they did that. It could have gone a lot differently because of the age difference in all the kids, but with her niece (Judy) having her first child (Ann) only one year after us twins, it gave them all a new connection. She was particularly close to Aunt Tootsie who was like her second mother and Uncle Connie who was unmarried until the early 1960s when she married Auntie Ann who had 2 adult children and they lived right next to Kendrick Park so we so them very often stopping in for his delicious baked treats!
She was a good woman and a good mother and she lead by example rather than telling us what to do and how we should be as we grew up. I think that sticks more than words!
It's All About Family 