June 2023 – It's All About Family

A June 24, 1912 Wedding

Antonia Liro and Charles Steven Jakiela June 24/1912

My grandparents, Antonia Liro and Charles Jakiela met in Palmer Massachusetts most likely while working at one of the textile mills in the area.

Antonia arrived in the United States in 1910 and heading directly to Massachusetts to the home of her sister, Angela and brother in law Joseph Mikula.

Charles arrived in 1906 but his original destination was to Southington Connecticut (South Kingston on his ship manifest) to his uncle, Jan Jakiela. The only record for a Jan Jakiela I could find in Southington was for one who had been arrested for theft. Whatever the case, he ended up in Palmer Massachusetts, perhaps for work.

They were not there for long after that, as their first son Steven was born on May 11, 1913 in Southington Connecticut. Southington was home to hardware and silver factories and had a large Polish population.

Antonia with my dad John (?) on her lap approximately 1925-26 Polish Falcons Club

They lived in a variety of different rentals in the South Center Street area. He likely worked at the Southington Hardware Company on South Center Street. This is where they were living when Antonia died from complications of pregnancy with her sixth child a few months before their fifteenth wedding anniversary.

Saturday, April 2, 1927 edition of The Journal, Meriden CT

There are so many unanswered stories and questions. How did they meet and fall in love? What did they say when they talked about their future? Why did they move to Southington? What would she have said about her five children as they grew up and raised children of their own? How did Charles handle June 24, 1927 such a short time after she passed away and now he, a widower, with 5 children to raise ages 14, 12, 7, 5, and 3 and every anniversary after that until he died in 1935.

“You work with your Husband!?”

Who do you spend the most time with?

This is a comment I’ve heard so many times in the 23+ years my husband and I have owned our remodeling business (Bencar Building Systems). But for both of us, 95% of the time, it’s been a pleasure!

At the 2022 Record Journal (Meriden CT) Readers Choice awards dinner

We have been married since 1988 and when he decided to strike out on his own in 1999, I knew he would need help and that people would expect a person to be there answering the phone. How else are you going to get business. Big leap of faith, but sometimes I have it in me!

So after a day of working together, we go home to each other! There were days I liked my boss better than my husband and some days couldn’t wait to go home to my husband, but we always work it out.

We spend all weekend together too! We both have our own interests but he’s definitely the one person I see the most.

I guess I’m just really lucky!

The World Series Chauffeur

In 1950, my dad was 26 years old, living with his older brother, sister-in-law, and their 2 boys, and working as a house painter.

It was early October and the New York Yankees, defending champions, were in the world series against the Philadelphia Phillies. The Yankees were up 3 games to none and game 4 was on October 7, 1950, at 2:05 pm with Whitey Ford on the mound.

Since my dad’s beloved New York Dodgers were out with an 89-65-1 record, there wasn’t much left for him to cheer about but that never stopped him from watching a game. He just loved baseball and that day was his lucky day.

His brother Steve asked him to drive him and his friends to the game so they could have a few drinks without worrying about driving home and as payment, he would give him a ticket to the game. How could he resist!?

They all saw Whitey Ford, “Chairman of the Board”, emphatically shut the door on the Phillies season pitching 8.2 innings, giving up 7 hits, 2 runs, 1 base on balls, and 7 strikeouts and a 5-2 Yankees win to repeat as World Series Champions.

I think my dad had a very special relationship with his oldest brother, Steve because when their father Charles Jakiela died, Steve was 23 and my dad just turning 11. Steve and Eddie (21) were born before their dad went into WWI, and Helen (15), Walter (13), and my dad were born after. If you want a look back, here is the story of my dear grandmother, Antonia Liro Jakiela. Steve became my dad’s surrogate father and certainly helped to make my dad the wonderful dad he was to us.

The Racer and The Blonde Bombshell

This picture was always a favorite of mine on display at my father-in-law Paul Reinhart’s home in California. You can check out my first story about him here and there will be more to come. But this one is the best and it’s in his own words because it was his first win! So I’ll let Paul tell the story….

I’ve gone through driving school and had run Stockton (California), without much success. We finished Saturday and lost the coil Sunday. Never again left the key in the ignition so it can be left on. Entered Cotati (Raceways, California) and it was highly promoted and big entry list. We all belonged to N.C.C.A. (North California Corvette Association), one of the first and largest corvette clubs in the country. This club decided to promote a charity race. The charity was cerebral palsy and to get the crowd out, it was decided to get a big star as a trophy girl. For a sum of money, we got Jayne Mansfield.

The club was well organized and did a wonderful job promoting. Placards and handbills were everywhere. Every Corvette from the north was there – Ray Altman, Sandy Greenblatt, Bill Sherwood, Bob Eagleson, Neil Schraeder, Danny Raffetto, Red Faris, and probably Dave MacDonald from the south. Dave had been labeled a cheater at Stockton so he was going to show it was no fluke. There were others.

I was still driving my ’57 to the races, so it was street driven every day with a full windshield and bumpers. With all that weight we were not competitive yet so Saturday we were about sixth and hoping to finish about there Sunday.

As the Sunday race got started, I was running sixth and seventh and holding my own, but as the forty-minute race unfolded, one by one of the front runners broke or spun. Here I am leading and trying not to screw up. Against that competition, this street-driven Corvette won.

It was a big moment for me, even though Jayne Mansfield taking the victory lap made it special. We kissed for the photographers and the crowd loved it.

He’s got eyes for her but she’s got eyes for the camera!

In those days as now, the Corvette race was as big as the main event itself. It was probably the largest amateur event to date on the West Coast so it got a lot of ink. It also made me realize that I could run with these guys. it was the beginning of a run of wins and near wins.

What a treasure to read stories in his own words. He never bragged but he was always happy to share if we asked!

The Season of Betty – The End and The Beginning

I started this story over a year ago. I’m not sure it’s made me feel any
better but it’s an unburdening of sorts because we all just put on brave faces
during those 9 weeks. Nine weeks. They go by in the blink of an eye these days but in 1987 it felt like 9 years.

My mother died on Saturday, April 4, 1987, one day before her 65th birthday. It was between 8:30 and 9am. I was sitting on her bed with her and I noticed she’d stop breathing for a couple of beats and then start again. I called for my father to come and let him stay with her while I called my aunts to let them know it was going to be very soon. I’m sure I called my sisters too. I left to pick up my Aunt Tootsie so my parents could be together.

I have debated with myself about the amount of detail for this post. I decided to keep it brief.

We all went with my father to select her casket and plan the funeral. Father Merusi, one of our former priests, who was now in Meriden, requested to perform the mass as he knew my mother well from the Mother’s Circle club and working on and chairing the church Bazaar. The wake was on Monday night and the funeral was on Tuesday morning at Holy Trinity Church in Wallingford. It was very beautiful and for many years I kept the sign-in book and all the cards that we received. I found it comforting to read how people felt about her.

Something very frustrating at the wake was to hear her friends or acquaintances say: “Oh, you know I’d see her at the store and say Hi and she didn’t even acknowledge me”. Or people she worked with in a small office said: “She would fall asleep at her desk during work”. People, if someone is acting strange, find a way to say something to someone!

There was one notable moment for me when the limousine pulled up to the church. Just before we opened the door to exist my father said, “Now I don’t want anyone crying”. It stunned me. I thought “You can’t tell us that!”. I was dry-eyed through the ceremony until I saw my sister’s friend. I don’t know why, but I started sobbing and wasn’t able to stop until we exited the church. Knowing now about my father’s childhood, I’m fairly certain it was what he heard as a soon-to-be 11-year-old boy from his older brother when they buried their father in 1935 after a hit-and-run accident as he walked along Route 5. It must have been so traumatic for him.

After the funeral, we had a gathering at VFW in Wallingford. From there, I recall my father and I going home and some relatives came to the house. He entertained them but I immediately changed into my workout clothes and dashed out of the house to go to the fitness center where I was a member and had gone every night during these 9 weeks. I was ready to and had to, get back to “normal” life.

I read Jhumpa Lahiri’s Unaccustomed Earth last month and there was a short story about a mother’s death from cancer after being ill for a number of years. The young man talked of his grandparents arriving from India and breaking down when they realize their daughter is no longer alive. “….grieving freshly for my mother as neither my father nor I had done. Being with her through her illness day after day had denied us that privilege.”

This passage was like a punch in the nose. I felt guilty for being relieved that I could just be again, because that meant, in my mind, I was relieved my mother had died. I didn’t see it as she was free from suffering, I saw it as I no longer had to take care of her. She’d already left me and I’d already done my mourning when she was diagnosed. When the time came to really mourn her with all her friends and relatives, it was too late. It had passed. I had moved on.

The bright spot going forward was the vacation I had to postpone when she stopped eating was coming up in three weeks! I was all set. I was going with my friend Cindy and my plan was to bring a bunch of books and spend the week lying on the beach reading! HA – little did I know my mother had other plans for me…..!