2023 – It's All About Family

Conversations with Aunt Judy – Part 3

I hope you’ve enjoyed the stories of my Aunt Judy I’ve shared so far. The explanation of how they came to be is here and the second part about her family growing up is here. Catch up and then join in!

So this part of the conversation between Aunt Judy, her niece “Little Judy” and her nephew, Jack involves Aunt Judy growing up and her marriage and life with Uncle Mal – Malcolm Bellafronto.

What was the hardest thing you ever did? My Hair. No one has any idea of the life I had.

I lost my hair when I was a year old! 1917 during the war, everyone was getting typhoid, so when I lost my hair they figured I’d get it back, but I never did. My mother was taking me down to Yale-New Haven clinic for observation, by then I was 8 or 9 years old. I had eyebrows and eyelashes and I had to sit there with all the doctors standing around trying to figure out what was wrong. They couldn’t find any reason except alopecia, yet they said, it was not really, because I had eyebrows and eyelashes! When I hit puberty, I got pubic hair and hair under my arms but as I got older, everything left. They said I would get it when I hit puberty, which wasn’t true, but I’m glad they did because I always had the hope that when I was a teenager, I’d get that hair so at least I wasn’t in despair.

My mother made a white hat for me but they’d pull it off my head and call me Baldy and everything – and they were my peers. Then when I got older, cripes, I wore that kooky wig. I got hit in the forehead playing basketball and it got knocked off and there were all the boys in the stands. One time the wind caught it while I was walking up Center Street and I had to go chasing it!

When I see them getting these wigs for these kids, I tell you, I am so glad. I told my kids once they could understand, I swear if I ever hear you make fun of anyone with an infirmity, you will get beat until you are black and blue. I told them why. You have no idea how tough it is on a kid, especially a girl. When I see these things about stuff like that being funny, I think, You have no idea. That is not funny at all. But like I said, I had so many other blessings.

What are some of the fun times? The best thing that ever happened to me was Mal. I think if I had not found someone who loved me so deeply…once we were horsing around and it (the wig) fell off, and of course, I went into tears. he said “What’s the matter with you? Don’t you think I know?” Well, knowing and seeing are 2 different things. But to have him love me and think I was so wonderful was really the best thing to happen to me. Had I not married him, I probably would have wound up a crabby old maid! I never can complain about my life.

50th Wedding Anniversary 1939 / 1989 tap for full picture!

Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal were very close with her brother Lou and his wife Irene. They traveled together, had summer cottages next door to each other, and all retired to the same location in Florida.

How did Lou and Mal meet? They both played football. Lou was quarterback, and Mal was center. Connie (her oldest brother) also played.

How did you and Uncle Mal meet? When I was drunk! It wasn’t love at first sight. The next time I saw him he said “I owe you something”. When I asked what, he said, “You said you’d give me a kiss if I scored a touchdown, and I didn’t so I have to give it back”. We grew on each other and I never thought I’d marry an Italian! When I went to New York to go shopping with my cousins over Easter he came to the house 2 or 3 times a day to see if I was home yet! We started going steady after that.

How did he propose? I don’t remember anything big. Once you started going steady that was usually it and the first gift you received was a cedar chest. He was carrying around a ring for awhile and I finally asked him when the heck he was going to give it to me because I wanted to wear it before the wedding!

What do you think your family thought of Uncle Mal? He was concerned about what my family thought of him. I asked him why and he said, “well, you know, Polish and Italians don’t get along”. I told him well, we’re also German! Finally I called out, “Hey Ma – I got a problem”, Mom said “What’s your problem?”. I said, “Mal wants to know what you think of him”. She said, “what do you mean what do I think of him?” “Well, he’s Italian!” Mom said, “So?”. Mom loved Mal.

Helen Evon, Judy, Betty (her sister) August 9, 1939

My mom was like that. Very liberated for her time. If someone said you couldn’t go to another church, she’d say, “that’s a lot of nonsense. God is in every church, not just in our church!”

What did the Bellafronto family think of you? They tolerated me and they had to because…No, I think my mother in law liked me but she was very domineering. She was born in the United States and went to Italy on a visit and met Mal’s dad, and they got married. Mal loved his dad dearly and was the only one in the family who did. For years and years we would go to their house for a meal and he’d come downstairs, eat and go back up! We were shocked that he came to our wedding. When his mother was dying, she took my hand and said you’re the best thing that every happened to my son. The family was different. You had to know them. They didn’t know how to mix. They were good to me though.

Mal, Judy, and Stephano (Augustine) Bellafronto May 1939

Uncle Mal was in World War II? Yes, he enlisted in the Navy in July of 1943 and went right away. We lived with my Mom, Dad, and Betty while he was gone. He was on a sub-chaser and spent 2-1/2 years in the Caribbean. The ship came back to California and was in dry dock so young Mal and I went out there to stay with him. We planned on staying with Tante Lizzie and Uncle Ben when he went back out. But shortly after the ship pulled out of the port, the Navy said Mal had enough points to go home! So we all came back to Connecticut.

Milly Bellafronto, Judy with Young Mal 1944

Mal, Judy, and young Mal returned to Wallingford to live after he got out of the Navy. They built a house on Lincoln Avenue in Wallingford around the corner from where my family would eventually live. In June of 1946 their son Robert Louis was born. They lived there until the mid-1970s when they retired to Florida with my Uncle Lou and Auntie Irene. My parents remained close to them after they moved and took a few trips down to Florida to visit with them.

What are you most proud of? My marriage. It was the best thing that every happened to me.

Aunt Judy was sassy. In hindsight, she was very similar to how my grandmother has been described! She told you how it was and didn’t hesitate to swear, and then laugh! She had a very infectious laugh and it was fun to listen to her stories.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these Conversations with Aunt Judy!

Conversations with Aunt Judy – Part 2

Through the questions asked by Little Judy and her brother Jack, I’m going to share Aunt Judy’s answers and give a little background to her responses. If you missed the beginning, you can find it here. Let’s start with the early years.

There was a lot of conversation about Gram. She was quite a woman who had quite a secret! This is what she had to share about her mother.

What do you know about your mother’s early life?: She was quite a lady. She was not the person that people knew in the end. She was one of the lucky ones. She came here with no one. I don’t even know how she got here without a sponsor. She was lucky to be taken in by a rich woman – I don’t know her nationality or her name, but she immediately enrolled her in night school. That’s why she could speak English and learned at the niceties (Gram was this woman’s maid). That’s why she had so much poise. She was very fortunate.

How did she meet Grandpa? They both lived in Yonkers which was considered Germantown because that’s where all the Germans immigrated to. They were 3rd cousins and has to get dispensation. *This would mean they shared great great grandparents and in the early 1900s even 2nd cousins didn’t need dispensation so that might have been a family tale. Commonality appears to be with the Straub last name.

How many languages did she speak? She could speak German, Russian, and Polish, and she could understand “Jewish”. I bet out of all of us my mother had the highest IQ. She then followed that up with – I don’t know if my mother was any smarter than my dad but she had more balls than my father, yes she did!

Where did you learn to cook and sew? My mother! She could look at a piece of crochet and she could do it. She and Toots (the oldest daughter) would walk and window shop and if they saw a dress that Toots liked, she could just look at it then they’d go to Horowitz’s and buy the material and make a paper pattern and then the dress would be done the next day. I’m a good sewer but I could never do that! Gram didn’t need a pattern. There was nothing she couldn’t do and that’s why when we’d get shy about something she’d get so impatient with us! She’d say, “American boy got an education, and you can’t open your mouth?” She would open hers!

What else did Gram enjoy? She was an actress! She was in plays at the Polish (national) church a couple of times a year. I can still picture watching them! My mother and Aunt Mary (Gram’s sister-in-law). Aunt Mary was the boss – producer. Everyone would go to the church on Sunday night to watch. I don’t know what the hell they were saying but whatever she said, I guess it was the right thing because they’d all clap!”

What was Gram and Grandpa’s relationship like? She had a tough row to hoe. My father had a drinking problem. Fortunately, when he’d get drunk, he’d go up to bed and go to sleep. But he never lost a day’s work in his life. My mother got the paycheck. But just the same, to us, we knew Christmas would come, he was going to have too much to drink and then go to bed. It bothered us! Now we realize it wasn’t all that bad.

Tell us about your dad My dad and his brothers were hatters. When we moved to New Britain, he owned a hat company (The Conrad Hat Company). Dad was not a business-type guy but he would have been very successful if he was. He was a soft-hearted guy and the politicians in New Britain would come in and take advantage of him, having a hat made and saying they’d pay him later and they never did. He couldn’t pay his insurance, had a fire, and went out of business. They moved to Wallingford so he could find a job. He did get a job in the steel mill and his mother and stepfather gave them $500 to put a deposit on the house at 121 Clifton Street.

Who graduated from High School and when did everyone start working? Tootsie (15), Connie (14), and Lou (11) didn’t attend any school once they moved to Wallingford. Tootsie did housework until she could get into the factory. Connie grew up to be a fabulous baker but I don’t know if he started working for one right away. Lou went to the farm (Wallingford was filled with farms in the 1920s) and pretty much lived there. Judy graduated high school, and Betty graduated high school and went to business school. She was asked why did everyone start working. “Because there was no money!” Think about it – 5 kids, dad with no job, moving to a new town – everyone had to pitch in.

My mom, Betty front left, cousin Pauline right. Back cousin Katherine and Judy in cap

I’m going to end here and next, we’ll hear from Aunt Judy about her life growing up, meeting Uncle Mal, and their life together!

Conversations with Aunt Judy – The Prologue

Around 2009, my cousin Jack took the home movies that our Uncle Mal Bellafronto recorded and, I don’t know the magic involved, combined them onto DVDs with my Aunt Judy Bellafronto and my cousin, Judy Behme discussing what was recorded. These three DVDs range from the mid-1930s with Uncle Mal playing football for a local team through the late 1970s with my sisters and I cheerleading at a high school Thanksgiving Day game.

He gave the cousins each copies and they are something I treasure and find myself watching every couple of years. Each time I do, I find something else precious to view.

As I was once again organizing my “Family History” space which is one end of the room over our garage, I found an additional DVD that I’m sure I watched when we first received it. I popped it into the DVD slot on my 2008 Mac Desktop and started watching. Then quickly grabbed a notebook and a pen and started transcribing.

It is approximately 45 minutes of “The Judys”. Jack and Judy Behme (his sister and forever known as “Little Judy”) asked questions of their aunt’s life growing up, meeting Uncle Mal, and their marriage. I recognized some of the answers which I know I’ve shared here and there in the past but I didn’t appreciate the stories and details until now.

I’ll share the background and facts in this post and then over the next posts break it out in sections. So let’s start….

Julia Gertrude Posluszny was born on May 15, 1917 in Yonkers NY to Julianna (Ingram) and Konrad Posluszny. She was their fourth child and the second girl in the family. Her siblings were Antoinette (Tootsie 1909), Conrad (Connie 1910), Louis (Louie 1913).

The family moved from Yonkers around 1920 to East Hampton, MA, then to New Britain in 1921, and to Wallingford CT in 1925 where Konrad’s mother, stepfather, and half brother lived. They moved into a new home at 121 Clifton Street where family lived until 1988.

She went to school in Wallingford, graduated in 1935 and met and married Malcolm Bellafronto in 1939. They had 2 sons and resided in Wallingford in a house on Lincoln Avenue. In the late 70s/early 80s, Uncle Mal retired from teaching at a tech school and they moved to Florida where they lived happily for many years.

Uncle Mal passed away in January of 2002 at the age of 88. As Aunt Judy became elderly, she moved to New York, but first spent some time in Morocco living with her granddaughter and her family! Once in New York, she resided in a nursing home and passed away on December 24, 2016 just 6 months shy of her 100th birthday.

To my sisters and I growing up, she was our stylish aunt. We enjoyed going to her house and she made us outfits for Easter for a number of years. She and Uncle Mal had a cottage at Pickeral Lake we would visit frequently on Sundays during the summer and use the cottage for a week some summers.

She had a wonderful laugh and we loved to listen to her stories (and gossip!). The last time we saw her was in 2013 at our former cottage in Lebanon Ct for a family reunion when her granddaughter Cathy, husband Fred and their 4 children came to the U.S. Aunt Judy’s son Bob and I put together the event and Aunt Judy was there along with her son Mal and his two sons Mal (III) and Eric. She was 96 at the time (Impossible!) and as quick witted as ever.

I look forward to putting the questions and answers into story and hope you enjoy this journey with me!