Memories – It's All About Family

Jacob Ingram and His Family

It was a little startling back in January of 2020 to realize the man and family I thought of as my mother’s father and his paternal line, was not correct.

I’ve written about my grandfather, Jacob Engram, Jr., but I thought I’d do some more research and put together a timeline of the whole family. It is going to be long!

Jacob Ingram/Engram

My great grandfather was Jacob Sebastian Ingram. He was born, according to his death certificate on July 7, 1859 in Padew Naraodowa which is a village in Mielec County in south-eastern Poland. At the time of his birth it was in Galicia which was part of Austria due to all the dividing up of Poland.

His birth year ranges from 1859 to 1862. The 1862 dates are reflected on the Ellis Island manifest and census records, so I continue to search a variety of dates for a definitive birth year. Unfortunately the years prior to 1863 are not part of the Geneteka collection. <sigh>.

Even his parents are a mystery. His father’s name is consistently “Sebastian”, however his marriage license lists his mother as Louise (maiden name) Burghardt and his death certificate as Katherine Burghardt. Geneteka records list only Sebastian Ingram and Elzbieta Burghardt in a search. I “know” them because they are the parents of my great-grandfather Ludwig Ingram. Recent information I found said he had a brother John, a brother Frantz (sp), and a sister Juliana.

Jacob left Europe at 24 years old on May 30, 1886 via Hamburg Germany and arrived in New York on June 14th. He traveled in Steerage (“zwischendeck”) aboard the Rhaetia. Records don’t indicate where he was going but wherever he went, he’d be looking for a job as a “schmied” or blacksmith.

At the time of his arrival, Castle Garden, or what we know as Castle Clinton National Monument was the main immigration station for the Port of New York. I was there in June of 2025, and wandered through wondering if any of my ancestors experienced walking through these doors.

Seven years later, on July 23, 1893, Jacob married Katherine Duy. He was 31 years old and she was 28.

*marriage license Jacob and Katherine 1893*

Katherine Duy Ingram/Engram

Katherine was born on August 9, 1965 in Padew as well. Katherine was the 6th born to Johann Jacob Duy and Maria Teresa (maiden name) Duy. According to the 1910 Federal census, she arrived in the United States in 1893 when she was 28 years old. A quick look at a census record for her sister, Barbara, born in 1869, shows she immigrated in 1893, so it could be possible they came together. But that would mean she arrived in the US and almost immediately married Jacob. The 1915 New York State census lists her arrival year as 1887, when she was 22. Another question mark!

Family stories say she had a “withered” arm. The few photos of her don’t show both arms so it’s not known which one or how damaged it was.

Other family members who immigrated included her parents Johann and Theresa and Philip born in 1875 who immigrated with them in 1904. On arrival, they moved to West Springfield Massachusetts. Wilhelm (b. 1867) immigrated and lived in Greenwich Connecticut. Barbara, mentioned above, immigrated in 1893 and lived in Astoria New York. Margaretha (b. 1872) immigrated and lived in South Hadley Massachusetts. One son, Jacob (b. 1858) remained in Austria.

Engram Children Births

More than nine months, but less than a year later, Jacob and Katherine’s first child, a daughter, Barbara, was born on April 27, 1894. Barbara was known as Theresa or Tess and the only indication her name was Barbara is this birth record. Her death certificate says Theresa B.

*Birth record for Barbara (Theresa) Ingram*

14 months later, on July 11, 1895, Katherine gave birth to Jacob Jr. This is the first time I see the spelling of their last name to be ENGRAM and that’s what it remained moving forward.

13 months later on August 19, 1896, Katherine gives birth to her second son, Louis.

Another year, another baby! Second daughter Katherine is born on March 2, 1898. Jacob and Katherine have four children under the age of 4. Whew! Notice these last 2 birth records do not have a first name – maybe they were still deciding.

Dare I say it? Another daughter, Elizabeth was born on November 1, 1899. I don’t have a copy of her birth record, but I trust the family member who has the information in her family tree. This is Jacob and Katherine’s fifth child and 3rd daughter.

On April 19, 1900, Louis died from Acute Meningitis at 3 years and 9 months old. This left Jacob Jr and three sisters.

In 1901, daughter Louise is born. Her name is either a tribute to Louis or to Jacob’s mother Louise (if that was her name!).

Memories written by Jacob and Katherine’s daughter Katherine in 1980, mention a brother who died in infancy. The gap between Louise and Hannah would likely be when it happened but there is not record found to confirm the birth or death.

After a space of five years, the last daughter Hannah is born on July 9, 1906.

Where They Lived 1893-1916

When Jacob and Katherine got married, Jacob was living at 306 W. 69th Street in New York and Katherine was living at 233 W. 80th Street.

1893-1894: After they were married, they continued to live at 306 W. 69th Street and Jacob was still working as a blacksmith. They were living here when Barbara was born.

Per google, the Upper West Side of New York City was a growing, but not yet completely developed, residential neighborhood. 306 West 69th Street and 233 West 80th Street would have been a walk-up tenement or a brownstone rowhouse, likely housing recent immigrants and working-class families who were moving to the area from more crowded parts of the city.

1895: They are now living in Westchester and he is a farmer. You’ll see Westchester was a town in Westchester County New York. In 1895 it was transferred to the City and County of New York, in 1898, it and other areas formed the Borough of the Bronx, and finally in January 1914, the Bronx was split off from New York County and it became Bronx County. This will the area where Jacob continues to farm.

1896-1900: They are living at Ferris Lane but it alternatives between simply Westchester and Union Port, New York City. Union Port appears to have been a village or neighborhood of Westchester. I found a video that talks about the lost villages of the Bronx and took a screen shot when I saw Ferris. Since he is a gardener, perhaps Ferris is the area where he worked and lived.

1906: They are now living on Williamsbridge Road in Westchester, New York City.

My initial thoughts of this area were they must be very rural but research shows me that all of the small towns in the Bronx were rapidly filling up with New Yorkers moving out of the city looking for a plot of their own.

1910: The federal census shows they are living in the Bronx Borough, part of New York City. Wickham Avenue to Astor Estate is the street listing. AI says, “In 1910, the area of the Bronx between Wickham Avenue and the former Astor Estate was rapidly developing from a semi-rural landscape into a residential neighborhood. Jacob, 48, is listed as a Gardener in the farm industry and “working on own account”. Katherine, 44, and the children “Tessie 16, Jacob 14, Kate 12, Elizabeth 10, Louise 8, and Hanna 3” are all at home and I assume attending school.

1915: The state census lists the family at Pelham Parkway in the Bronx County. Jacob the father (54), and Jacob the son (19) were farming. Katherine the mother (49), “Thresia” (21), and Katherine 17I did house work, and Elizabeth (15), Louise (13), and Hannah (9) were in school.

You can see Pelham Parkway as they would have known it on the right, and the present day Pelham Parkway.

During this time period, Katherine’s parents, Johann and Theresa Duy would come and visit. They lived in Longmeadow Massachusetts, but they had Katherine, Barbara, and William in the Connecticut/New York area. The following story comes from their daughter Katherine’s 1980 written memories to her sister Theresa’s (born Barbara) daughter Irene:
My mother’s mother and father (my grandparents) and Uncle Philip were the last members to come to America. I remember my mother telling us how terrible the ocean voyage was and they almost died. And I also remember how my mother longed to see her parents and grieved she would never see them again. They used to come and stay with us for periods at a time and when they left to go back to their eldest daughter’s in Longmeadow Massachusetts…they would cling to each other and it was almost impossible to tear them apart. And they always grieved for the brother and sister who remained in Austria. The family bond was very strong.

Unfortunately, life with Jacob was not always pleasant as he was an alcoholic. Stories passed down mention Katherine leaving Jacob a few times. She would travel to her brother William’s home in Greenwich Connecticut. While away, she would take in laundry. She returned each time because she was pregnant.

October 27, 1916, Katherine Duy Engram passed away after a two year battle with breast cancer. She left behind Jacob and seven children ranging from 22 to 10.

In daughter Katherine’s 1980 memories, she shared this with her niece Irene. Katherine was 18 when her mother died:
”It will be 64 years on the 27th of October 1980 since my mother passed away. She was very, very sick with cancer for 2 years before she died. I stayed on the farm and kept house for the family for 2 years and because of unbearable, alcoholic conditions, we left our father. Your mother (Theresa) was either in nursing training or already doing nursing duty during that time. She always wanted to be a nurse.
I know my mother would be very proud if she came back today and saw the family she created, but I am sure she watched over us and prayed for us and still does. From time to time I wake up thinking of her and recall the bitter, hard struggle she had and can’t go back to sleep for wishing I could take her in my arms and hold her close. Children never know the sacrifices their mother’s make for them. Your heritage is a beautiful one Irene.”

After Katherine died, Jacob Jr. enlisted for World War I and the girls all moved to New York in the care of Theresa. In my next post, I’ll pick up from here.

Walter John Bonk

Walter Bonk (aka Bak or Bunk) was the 13th born and 8th living child of Carolina Straub. His father was John Bonk (Bak), whom she married in 1888 after the death of her first husband Joseph Posluszny in 1887. Carolina gave birth to a baby girl in 1899 who died at birth. Walter was born in Dzikowiec in the Galicia region of Poland on August 29, 1903 when Carolina was 48 years old.

Walter was a month shy of four years old when he made the trip to the United States with his mother, father, and half sister Elizabeth. The Passenger List indicates that his father had traveled to the United States in the past in 1901 and 1906 to Perth Amboy possibly to work and get things settled for them all to come over.

*Walter standing on right in front of mother Carolina late 1907 his father is standing 4th from left*

In 1910, John, Carolina, and Walter are living at 23a Parker Street in Perth Amboy, New Jersey. Although Elizabeth would have been only 14, she is not listed as living with them. Perhaps she was working as a live in maid somewhere. During this time period, Walter was attending school and could speak English.

The next time I find Walter, he is 17 years old in the 1920 United States Federal Census. The family has moved to Wallingford Connecticut and his parents owned 30 Geneva Avenue. They are joined by his half-sister Elizabeth, her husband Joseph Łaçź, their two young sons, his half-cousin John Posluchny (spelled phonetically in the census!), and a border, John Ivaninski. It was a full house! The two boarders work at the hardware factory, his father works as a press dropper at the silverware factory, Joseph a packer there, and Walter at age 17, is no longer attending school and is an electrician at the factory.

Only two years later, Walter, Caroline, and John Bonk were now living at 24 East Street in Wallingford. This was one minute walk from the location of the market owned by Elizabeth and her husband Joseph Łaçź and it is a short walk from Clifton Street where his half brother Konrad (my grandfather) and his family will move to in 1925. He is 19 years old.

In March of 1925, his mother Caroline passes away of stomach cancer.

On June 23, 1925, Walter married Beatrice Kasprzycki of New Haven. She was born on September 13, 1905, the fourth of nine children of John Kasprzycki and Anna Tarnowski of Meriden. The family moved to New Haven in 1917 when her father left International Silver for a job at the American Windshield Corporation.

*Walter Bonk and Beatrice Kasprzycki 23 June 1925*

Just over a year later, Walt and Bea’s first daughter Ann Carolyn Bonk was born on July 25, 1926.

Walter, Bea, and Ann lived at 24 East Street in Wallingford with his father, John. This was a 2 family house and I think they must have lived with him based on the listings in the Streets section of the annual directory.

This following information came from a phone conversation I had with their daughter Ann in the early 2000s:

John, Walter’s father, 55 years old at the time, met Viola Weston, a 50 year old widow and they got married. Viola had 23 and 21 year old sons, and an 18 year old daughter who came along with her to live at 24 East Street. So Walter and his family moved to New Haven, close to Bea’s family.

Walter and Bea had another daughter, Dolores LaVerne born in 1931, and another, Joan Beverly in 1933, and their son Henry in 1937.

Walter and his family remained in New Haven until John died in 1933. Ann said they moved back to Wallingford and lived in one of the apartments and Viola, based on a provision in John’s will, continued to live in the other apartment until her death in 1937.

Walter went to work as an electrician for the Wallingford Steel Mill which then became Allegheny-Ludlum Steel and worked there for his entire career.

Walter also became involved in Wallingford politics in 1944 when he was named as an alternate delegate to the state Republican Party convention as well as part of the republican town committee. He continued on for many years and he also served as the Wallingford Assessor and a second selectman.

We would see Uncle Walt and Aunt Bea once a year at the annual Fourth of July family picnic hosted by Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal and Auntie Irene and Uncle Lou. Judy and Lou were my mother’s older siblings.

Uncle Walt and Aunt Bea continued to live in their home at 24 East Street until age caught up to them. They both resided at the Skyview Nursing Home where he passed away in August 1998 at the age of 94 and she in February of 2003 at the age of 97. They had been married for 73 years.

*Gram (front), Aunt Bea, Mom, Aunt Tootsie abt. 1964*

Their children, Ann, LaVerne, Joan, and Henry were my mother’s half first cousins. But if you’ve read about her being born story, technically they’re not related at all?

*Postcard from Ann Bonk to my mom in 1936*

My mother and Ann were 4 years apart but the Poslusznys, Bonks, and Biegas, all lived within a block or two of each other. My mom was friends with all the girls throughout her life. We may not have seen them frequently, but we knew of them all because of my mother.

Ann’s postcard sent from Middletown when she was 10 and my mother 14 says:
Dear Betty,
I am having a swell time. I miss you a lot, I miss going walking on Sunday with you. Please tell the rest of the family I was asking for them.
Your pest, Ann C. Bonk

Ann married Floyd Monroe of East Haven and they had three daughters and 4 sons. They lived for many years in Vermont and we would see them once a year at the annual Fourth of July picnic! After Floyd passed away in 1985, Ann moved back to Connecticut and became a teacher at the Wallingford Community Day Care where she was known as Miss Ann. Something I didn’t know about her until my research was she was a graduate of Yale University School of Music. Prior to that she studied piano and organ with various teachers including a professor at Yale. For two years prior to college she was the organist at St. Peter and Paul Church in Wallingford. Ann passed away in 2011.

Laverne married Ed Dziubinski and lived in Branford. They had 2 children and Ed passed away some years ago and she has since remarried.

*Laverne with Auntie Ann, Aunt Bea, and Joan (back right)*

Joan married Carl Focareto of Berlin Connecticut. He was a loud, gregarious individual and I don’t mean loud in a bad way! “Knock-out” was his nickname. I don’t know why, and it just came to me! They were married in 1954 and they had 2 children who we knew fairly well because they went to the “other” high school in Wallingford. Their daughter, Beverly, married someone from “our” high school who was good friends with one of my brothers in law, so we would see them at parties and softball games. Their son, Peter, lives a few blocks away from us.

Carl and my dad were golfing buddies. When Carl died in 1998, it hit my dad pretty hard. As a tribute to him, dad had the florist make up an arrangement that was a putting green. I wish I still had the picture of it. It was probably something they had never done before! Joan still lives in Wallingford.

My sisters and I didn’t know Henry and his family. I don’t know why. Maybe because he was born in 1937 when my mother was 15, and he was a boy?

Hank as he was known was involved in baseball and lacrosse growing up. He graduated from Tufts University and was a chemist and inventor with 34 scientific patents. He also served in the Army in South Korea. He had his wife had 2 daughters. Sadly, Hank passed away after a long battle from MS in 2021 at the age of 83.

My Behme cousins are far more familiar with Hank and his family most likely because their mother, Judy Posluszny Behme, was 2 years younger than Hank and they might have gone to Holy Trinity together. Being that close in age, they likely had their children in the same range and they too, would have been in school together. I just remember the Behme family heading off to the Bonks house during the holidays and I didn’t quite understand why we didn’t!

When I put these stories together I see so many characteristics within my family today. The scientists and musicians, the cooks and bakers, and overall smarty-pantses in the family! There’s also the “get involved in your town” and take care of people whether their friends or strangers. This is the DNA we carry within us.

As cousin Ann Bonk’s obituary said:
In memory of Ann and how she lived her life, we ask that you honor her by a simple act of kindness.

Time and Memory

Reflections on the anniversary of my father’s passing

Friday, March 28th, marked the 15th anniversary of my dad’s death in 2010. In February of that year, after a month of turmoil for us all, he was finally settled into the nursing home after leaving his assisted living with a short stay in the hospital. He’d begun attending the events and, as always, enjoyed the music. My sister Gail said she’d had a nice visit with him, taking him for a walk around the grounds and spending time sitting and talking outside.

It was a Sunday, when I received the call from the nursing home to tell me he had passed away. He was sitting in bed eating breakfast when someone walked by, and when they walked by again, he was slumped over. Just like that. Gail and I contacted the funeral home then headed there and sat with him for a while. It was Palm Sunday and the home left a frond in his room that I took and have in a box with my parents personal belongings.

I’ve written more than once about my mother’s eight week journey from diagnosis to death with Glioblastoma. My dad’s death occurred one week prior to the 23rd anniversary of my mother’s death.

After my mother died, my father carried on. He was 63 and still working in the facilities department at Gaylord Hospital in town. He really loved that job! He was such a people person, he was an awesome painter and wall-paperer, my sister Gail worked there, and the Farms Country Club was next door so he’d look for golf balls during lunch or hit some balls.

He loved “his girls”, his grandkids, golfing, and riding his bike. During my 8 years in California, he visited both with my sisters and by himself and I never had to entertain him. He’d take off for the day on my bike or head to the golf course in town.

I won’t go through the litany of health ailments starting with his 1996 knee replacement, but they were enough to slow him down and significant enough that he was not able to live on his own after 2000. After that, it felt like from late January until April, he, and we, were dealing with one health issue or another.

During this week every year, I think about that. I’ve written about my dad’s childhood, how his mother died when he was turning 3 and his father died the month before his 11th birthday. He and his older siblings were then raised by his 12 years older brother.

What do I think about? I think that he didn’t want to leave his girls alone. I think that he wanted to be with us, to be our dad for as long as he could even if that meant fighting through whatever pain he had. I may sound crazy, but I think after 22 years and 51 weeks my mother said, “Honey, they’re going to be fine, come home” and with that, he went home.

Joseph Posluszny

Joseph Posluszny, born August 9, 1884, was my grand-uncle. He was the fourth child of Joseph and Caroline (Straub) Posluszny. Like his brother John, he was born in Lipnica, part of the district of Dzikowiec in southeast Poland. I’ve found a discrepancy in his date of birth in his WWI enlistment record but his birth record from the Lipnica archives shows he was born in 1884.

*Joseph’s birth record* – *August 9 birth, 10th baptism, house number 248*

Birth records list their father’s occupation as Colonista, which indicates they were German settlers who migrated to the region in the 18th century as part of a colonization effort by the Austrian Empire. With that migration came land, and family stories say they had a farm.

At 17, he departed for the United States on November 24, 1901, and arrived in New York Harbor on December 1st. His ship, Pennsylvania, departed from Hamburg, Germany, with stops at Boulogne-sur-Mer, France, and Plymouth, England, before arriving at its final destination of New York harbor. He was in Zwischendeck, better known as Steerage. Two weeks door to door, I wonder what he was thinking as he traveled. There is no person on his manifest page coming from Wildenthal so it appears he traveled alone.

He was heading to his brother, John Posluszny, who immigrated in 1900. The address for John on the manifest says 57 Jefferson Street in Yonkers. Although there isn’t a census listing for John in 1900, which I mentioned in my story about him, I found their uncle, Michael Straub, his wife Elizabeth, son Michael, and son John at that address.

*Ship’s manifest from Joseph’s arrival Line 23*

Joseph settled in as a hatter, just like his siblings, and continued to live on Jefferson Street at number 41 in the 1905 census.

His future wife, Anna Straub, was born in Wildenthal (now Dzikowicz) on December 25, 1887, to Joannes Straub and his wife Elizabetha. Elizabetha’s maiden name, and married name, were Straub, so there may be a familial connection to Joseph’s mother.

*Anna’s birth record – December 25 birth, 26th baptism, house number 19*

Anna departed Hamburg Germany on the Blücher and arrived in the United States on December 17, 1902. She headed to the home of her sister, Eva Straub, in Brooklyn, NY, with $12 in her pocket.

*Ship’s manifest from Anna’s arrival Line 25*

There’s no New York census record for Anna in 1905. But, they met, and Joseph and Anna were married on February 11, 1906, in St. Stanislaus Koskta Roman Catholic Church, Greenpoint (Brooklyn), NY. The church was only 2 years old when they were married.

Wedding party – brother, Charles is floor left, and John floor right. Brother, Konrad (other records say brother, Frank) standing second left. Back right, Ann’s brother, Adam Straub and wife, Margaret. Seated right, Anna’s brother, Lawrence Straub, *wife Josie, top left. Unsure if Julianna is woman 3rd from left.*

Joseph and Anna’s first child, a daughter Margaret, was born on December 1, 1906, in Yonkers, New York. Margaret is the baby in the front row of the Posluzny Family photo, held by Anna, and Joseph is standing at her right side.

Joseph and Anna moved to Newark, where he worked as a finisher in a hat shop. According to the 1910 Federal Census for New Jersey, Eva, her husband Walter Ingram, and Anna and Eva’s sister Lizzie, 18, lived with them.

The 1920 Federal Census finds them living in Norwalk, Connecticut, in a home they own. Joseph is working as a hatter in a factory. I talked about their hatter profession last year. Joseph worked for the Hat Corporation of America in Norwalk until he retired.

1930 is the first time Joseph is listed as Joseph POST, not POSLUSZNY or POSLUSHNY. Joseph and his brother Charles, who also ended up in Norwalk, were the only two who used Post exclusively as their last name. Aunt Judy said that she wished her father, Konrad, had done the same because she got tired of it being mispronounced. I always used it in response to someone talking about my maiden name Jakiela. I’d say, “You think that’s bad? My mother’s maiden name was Posluszny!”

They had 3 more children: Charles in 1910, Ann in 1915, Joseph in 1917, and Elizabeth in 1922.

*Joseph, Margaret (back)*
*Charles, Joseph, Anna and Ann (seated) abt. 1919*

I didn’t know Joseph and Anna and their family. The ages of their children fell in line with my mother’s family and my mother and their youngest daughter, also named Elizabeth, were both born in 1922.

Interestingly, Joseph, Jr., was born in Wallingford in 1917 and in my early searches I found Joseph his father in the 1915 town directory as a farmer in Yalesville. I never knew if it was really him, and that was the only year. I don’t know why there was the break in location or occupation. Sometime between the 1910 census and 1920 census, his mother and step father came to Wallingford, possibly at the same time from New Jersey.

The next generation, Joe and Anna’s grandchildren, were people I have met in the past. Ann married Walter (Wally) Regan and they had eight children. Margaret married Paul Wupperfeld and they had four children. Charles and his wife Mayre, were childless, Joseph Jr, and his wife, Dorothy had 2 children, and Elizabeth and her husband, Courtland (Court), had four children. The Regans and the Wupperfelds attended the Fourth of July picnics at Pickerel Lake, hosted by two aunts and uncles. Joseph and Anna possibly were there as well. In my head, I hear Aunt Judy calling them “the Fairfield Posts”, and “Uncle Joe”. We also attended a party at Crystal Lake in Ellington hosted by one of the Wupperfeld children when I was about 10 or 11. I have a connection with one of Joe and Anna’s great-grandchildren, Jennie, through Ancestry and her family tree contains at least 25 grandchildren and many great-grandchildren. Like my relative through John Posluszny, I appreciate that connection to the past.

Joseph died at 90 years old on November 9, 1974, in Norwalk. Eleven months later, Anna died on October 20, 1975, at 87 years old.

January 31st

January 31st. 38 years ago, on January 31st, 1987, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Glioblastoma Multiform. It was not a question of IF she would die, but WHEN. It was so invasive throughout her brain, there was nothing they could do for her.

I’ve written about our journey with her illness here and here. Boy, did it suck. Her decline was so rapid, it was like she let out a sigh of relief from getting found out. I felt so fecking helpless. Maybe that’s why I always cajole my family members with a “you’re fine, you’re fine!” Like I can will their pain or illness out of them because I couldn’t do it for her.

So many years later, I see myself standing at the copier at work hearing my name as I’m paged for a phone call. I hear Gail saying, “I’ll always think of this when I pay my taxes”. I see me sitting with my sisters in the hospital cafeteria discussing what she’ll wear for her funeral. Weeks later, trying to force her to eat because the visiting nurse said when she stops, the end will only be a few weeks (it was). I went out that afternoon for the St. Patricks Day parade in New Haven and tied.one.on. We knew it wouldn’t be long.

She died 8 weeks after her diagnosis. Every year between January 31st and April 4th, I remember what it felt like to see her slip away.

John Posluszny

I told you about John Posluszny’s death and burial here but I thought you might enjoy hearing about his life and family.

John was born in March 1880 and was the eldest of the children of Caroline Straub and Joseph Posluszny.

He arrived in the United States in 1899 at the age of 19 and spent most of his life in the Newark, New Jersey area. I have no ship manifest for his arrival, but used the year recorded on the federal census reports.

Both the 1905 New York State census and the Yonkers city directory lists John living in Yonkers on Washington Street as a boarder in a household and working as a hatter (the family occupation).

Something puzzles me though. Jumping ahead a few years, the 1910 Federal Census lists a son John, 7 years old, which means he was born about 1903 and in the United States. The 1905 census doesn’t include a child or a wife but you’ll see further down this post, a marriage license says his first wife died. The Posluszny Family portrait was taken about 1907 based on the appearance of young John (front row left) and young Walter (front row right). I think the picture of John and his son and the picture of the four brothers was taken at about the same time.

*John Posluszny and his son John abt. 4 years old*

He married Stefania Mariasz in March in 1908. She immigrated in December of 1907 with her sister Karolina and they were heading to their cousin, Johann Straub on Jefferson Street in Yonkers. Johann Straub and Jefferson Street are names that have popped up regularly for Posluszny family members when they arrived in the United States. The marriage license says John was married before and his wife had died. I have no record for that and no birth record for John Jr.

*John and Stefania’s marriage license 1908*

There is another mystery – “they” had a daughter Martha, who was born in Austria in 1907 and came to the United States in February of 1909! I’m not sure who her parents really were. Martha arrived with John Posluszny’s cousin Katarzyna Burek, but I don’t recognize that name. Is it possible that Stefania had her out of wedlock in 1907? Illegitimate children were not uncommon according to the birth records I’ve been poring over.

By the 1910 census, we find John and his family in Newark New Jersey. This census assumes that Stefania gave birth to both John and Martha (2 children born, 2 children living). They were renters and shared their home with Stefania’s sisters Karolina and Julia. Julia is listed as being married for 8 years and immigrated in 1903 with a final destination of her husband Josef Dosedla. I don’t know what happened to him but by 1914, she was married to Jacob Vervliet in New Jersey.

John and Stefania had a son, Stanley born in August of 1918, nine years after Martha and 15 years after John.

*Stanley Posluszny born 1918 – approx. 1921*

In 1920, John, Stefania, Martha (13), and Stanley (1-1/2) are living in Irvington, a town in Essex County, New Jersey. John and Martha are both naturalized citizens and John is still working as a hatter. The sister in laws have moved on and so has the oldest son John. I found him living in Wallingford Connecticut with his grandparents, Caroline and Jon Bonk and working at Wallingford Silversmith.

By 1930, John is a restaurant owner and also owns a multi-family home at 617 18th Avenue in Newark. His restaurant / saloon was at 672 South 19th Street which appears to be the same building, with the entrance around the corner. I took the 2007 pictures from Google Maps because in 2023, the building is in a terrible state of disrepair!

Martha was married at 22 in 1928 to Leslie Theobald, a police officer for Newark. They had a daughter, Dolores and they were divorced in 1941. Their daughter, Dolores married Theodore Kozlowsky in 1951 and they had three children. I’m still researching to add them to the family tree.

*Divorce notice for Martha and Leslie – note the item underneath. Dr. Gilbreth is the mother of the real “Cheaper by the Dozen” family!*

I have not been able to find any information on John Jr. after the 1920 census in Wallingford. There are some possible leads but nothing that confirms to me that’s my John.

Stanley was easier to find possibly because he was born in the late 1910s. He graduated from West Side High School in Newark and then from Northeastern University in Boston with a bachelor’s in science degree. He would later become a dentist. But first up was World War II.

He registered in 1940 while he was a student at Northeastern. On the form, he spelled his last name “Poslushny” unlike our “Posluszny”. This picture is signed “Stan Post” which some of the male family members adopted permanently but Stanley did not.

He enlisted in the Marines in March of 1942. This was only a month after his father died as a result of a car accident. In November of that year, he completed pre-flight training and was sent to the Naval Reserve aviation base in Squantum, Massachusetts which was in the city of Quincy.

From there he headed to Pensacola Florida where he was commissioned a second Lieutenant in the Marines Corps Reserve after completing the flight training course. He was designated a naval aviator and assigned to the Navy Air Operational Training Center in San Diego California.

I was surprised to find this article for the same event in my local Connecticut newspaper archives and wondered why. Then I realized his sister Martha, and probably her daughter Dolores were living in Wallingford! 105 Ward Street a multi-family home and part of Steinke’s Market. The original market was owned by Joseph Laçz and his wife Elizabeth Posluszny (John’s sister). It was then purchased by Mary Posluszny Biega and her husband and at some point purchased (?) by their daughter Mary and her husband Otto Steinke. Whew. Remember, this was shortly after Martha and her husband Leslie Theobald were divorced in New Jersey. Family taking care of family again.

In 1945 Stanley was flying in the Pacific Theater and this event was recorded in the Newark Evening News.

The military rolls for Stanley show him stationed from Virginia to San Francisco and ending out his career as a captain.

He ended up back in the New Jersey/New York area and I believe he was married, had three sons, and was then divorced. I don’t know when he continued his schooling to become a dentist. Interesting note – his aunt Mary Posluszny Biega also had a son, Stanley G. and he became a dentist here in Connecticut.

He headed out to Arizona in 1955, was married in 1959, and had a daughter. I found her name on Ancestry in 2012. We have corresponded and discovered immediately that we were family. We became a DNA match a few years ago and since we have shared matches, I have new names to check on.

Stanley passed away in 1984 when she was only 21, not unlike he and his father. She told me that her father hated the cold and hated funerals and wanted to be cremated but her Italian-born mother refused and had him buried. How ironic that the same thing happened to father and son.

*Obituary and headstone for Stanley J. Posluszny*

I hope you enjoyed this biography of John Posluszny and his family!

Favorite Photo

The Week 2 Topic for 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is “Favorite Photo”.

This photo started me on my Ancestry Journey:

My mother’s oldest sister, Antoinette, known as Toots and Tootsie, was the family picture keeper. When I visited her in her little one room apartment, she would bring out the photos and tell me about the people in the photos. Some of the stories didn’t match the previous ones, but it was fun to just sit and listen to her. When she moved to a nursing home, my cousin Judy had the pictures and when she passed away, her husband gave them to me.

This photo is of the entire Posluszny Family, the maternal side of my family tree. In the front row is John Posluszny and his son John, Ann Straub Posluszny with her daughter Ann, Mary Posluszny (later to become Mary Biega), Caroline Straub Posluszny (at this time Bonk) and her son Walter, Elizabeth Posluszny (later to become Elizabeth Laçz). The back row is Joseph Posluszny, husband of Ann, Frank Posluszny, Charles Posluszny, John Bonk (the men’s stepfather and Caroline’s second husband, Walter’s father), Julianna Ingram Posluszny, and Conrad Posluszny (my grandmother and grandfather).

I have stared at this photo for so many years, just looking at the faces and wondering about them and their lives in Wildenthal (now Dzikowiec) before coming to the United States.

I marvel at the handsomeness of my grandfather (ok, he’s not really, but I am still related because he and my grandmother were 2nd or 3rd cousins), and I can’t get over the resemblance of Mary Posluszny Biega to my cousin Ann who has passed away.

I have individual pictures of a few of them, and some wedding photos that I treasure, but this photo is my favorite. It keeps me digging.

In The Beginning

It’s a new year and a new list of topics for 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks! We’ll see how it all works out, but hopefully, I can also get some subjects on my hit list written.

Week 1 Topic for 2025 is In the Beginning. I’ve written a post already about how I got involved in Ancestry so I’m taking this in a different direction. What better topic than my parents who started it all!

My mother, Elizabeth Ann Posluszny was born in 1922, and my father, John Steven Jakiela in 1924. They attended Lyman Hall High School together and my dad’s brother Walter was in my mother’s graduating class. I don’t know if they knew each other through their school years.

After high school, my mother went to Lauren Business School in Meriden and then went to work at Factory A of the International Silver Company. My dad worked at the Wallingford Steel Mill during high school and continued afterward until he headed to England in 1943. He returned to that job when he came home in 1945, and then he moved on to the paint store.

My mother and my dad’s sister Helen worked together at International Silver and belonged to a bowling league. My Auntie Helen told me that he would pick them up and drop off my mother at her home at 121 Clifton Street, and then he and Helen would go home. Auntie Helen realized something was happening when my dad started dropping her off first and then taking Betty home!

She also told me that “your mother said he’d better get off the pot and do something or she was moving on”. Suffice it to say they were married on November 9, 1952.

A little fun fact: Before their wedding, in January of 1952, John took a trip to Florida. I have an undocumented memory of him and his older brother Steve going there to see their brother Walter when he arrived stateside from wherever he had been. I wrote about him in March of 2024.

John sent some cute postcards to Betty while he was gone. He even put little notes under the stamps.

Betty was 30 on her wedding day and John was 28. Her mother was a widow and John lived with his oldest brother and his family so there was not likely a lot of money for a wedding but it was still beautiful. She had a timeless dress that was later worn by my sisters for their weddings. John and his groomsmen were in handsome morning suits.

*Steve Jakiela, John, Betty, and Tootsie Posluszny*

They left for a Florida honeymoon from the reception.

They lived in Meriden early in their marriage as Betty continued to work in the office at International Silver and John continued to work for Lacourciere Paint Company.

They hung around with John’s sister Helen and her future husband Ticker (Joseph) Jordan. They were married in May of 1953. They all loved to spend time at the Rocky Neck State Beach and vacation together in South Carolina.

They moved from Meriden to a cute rental on Carlton Street in Wallingford which was 2 blocks from her childhood home. Janice, Gail, and I were born when they were living there and we were likely busting out of the seams when we moved a year later to our beloved home at 15 Atkinson Lane.

Their marriage wasn’t perfect, but it worked for them. My dad loved having three girls and always said he wouldn’t want it any other way. He took us on bicycle and walking adventures and my mother instilled in us the love of reading.

They were the beginning of our family and the families my sisters and I created.

Symbols and Signs

The topic for week 38 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is Symbols. You can probably figure out that it’s actually Week 52 of 52 Weeks and so I’ll pick and choose the remainder of the topics to fit in with the topics for 2025. Anyway… Symbols!

I’ve written about the signs that my departed loved ones send me. My dad sends dimes and cardinals, and I find those dimes in the craziest places!

Earlier this year, the words in the New York Times Connections puzzle on two significant days told me my mother was wishing us continued happiness.

Last year, my father-in-law checked in, sending me my special number, 717.

Psychic mediums tell us to open our eyes and ears to the messages of love that surround us because the signs are there. Two books I really enjoyed on the subject are “Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe” and “The Light Between Us”, both by Laura Lynne Jackson.

The most recent sign came early Christmas morning, at 2:15 AM to be exact, when a little wind-up musical box began playing its tune, “Deck The Halls”. I found this in my in-laws’ home when we were cleaning out after my father-in-law passed away in 2022 and it has been sitting on a shelf in a bookcase outside our bedroom. It doesn’t play any music unless you wind it up on the back, and once it’s played out, it stops.

We both woke up with a start and I grabbed my phone, thinking it was ringing but I never have my ringer on! I leaped out of bed and only had to go a few feet to the source. How the heck did it start playing? It played so briefly, that I thought I had imagined it. 2:15 in the morning!!

It was another sign.

My husband’s biological father passed away on Christmas morning in 2005. We don’t know the exact time because it happened in Washington State and we live in Connecticut. We received a phone call that Christmas morning around 7am after we had finished opening presents.

Could it have been him? Because it was the anniversary of his death, both our minds went to him. I also remembered that he came through at the end of a recent reading I had with my wonderful psychic medium. He was in the background and we decided to keep him there. Maybe he just wanted to make sure we got the message that he was thinking of us. It would be just like him to use the method he did! So we laughed, went back to bed, and I moved the darn music box down to the first floor!

Signs from our loved ones are all around us. We just have to be willing to recognize them.

Final Resting Place

The theme for Week 37 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is – Tombstone.

In October of 1941, my great aunt, Stefania, wife of John Posluszny, my grandfather’s oldest brother, passed away. She was 56 years old. She left behind her husband, a daughter Martha 35, and a son Stanley, 22. I found this information on Find a Grave because a gracious volunteer uploaded the information from the cemetery – Holy Sepulchre in East Orange, New Jersey.

In the early 2000s, when I received ancestry material from my cousin Judy, there was a funeral card for my great-uncle John Posluszny.

*Funeral card information for John Posluszny*

The translation reads:

Jan (John) Posluszny
at the age of 61
He died on February 1, 1942
the funeral took place
on February 5, 1942
Corpses(?) placed in the cemetery
Rose Hill, Linden, NJ
He asks for a Hail Mary and eternal rest for the peace of his soul
Funeral Home Souvenir – W.A. Ruckiego

From this card, I requested a copy of his death certificate from the New Jersey state archives, but they had no record of it. The only death information available was his record in Find a Grave and I read that he was buried in Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in East Orange, and not in Rose Hill in Linden. Hmmmm.

Somewhere around 2006, I spoke to my mother’s cousin Ann Bonk Monroe (she passed away in 2011), and I must have asked her about this. My notes from our conversation say she told me that all she remembered about his death and funeral was hearing her family talk about how the wife wanted him cremated and the family was very opposed to it. Ann would have been 16 years old at the time. Since Stefania died before him, it must have been his daughter Martha who scheduled a cremation, but why a cremation?

Shortly after, I sent an email to Rose Hill and corresponded with Jim. He told me he was unable to find John or Jan Post, he wrote, “However here is some information that I did find about the service. I pulled the original diary from that year and found that there was a cremation scheduled for John Posluszny at 11:00 on 2/5/42 but it was cancelled. The funeral home was Rucki Funeral Home. I do not know the reason other than it was cancelled. I checked to see if (it) may have been rescheduled later, but I couldn’t find it.” Hmmm.

As this was going on, I had a DNA match with someone named Janine Posluszny. I emailed her in 2012 and it wasn’t until 2018 that I received a response from her. Her father was Stanley Posluszny, John and Stefania’s son! She grew up in Arizona and said “My father hated the cold. If I remember correctly his father died in a snowy road car accident???” That was new information for me!

This search for information on John Posluszny’s death may have started 20 years ago, but with these people, I just can’t quit. Saturday, I started looking for obituaries for John and Stefania. I am still surprised that Ancestry hasn’t revealed them to me. I checked Newspapers(dot)com, nothing, nothing, nothing. I checked Google newspaper archives, but there were no New Jersey papers for Newark.

So crap shoot, I google Newark newspapers and find the ONLINE newspaper archives in the Newark Public Library!

Enter in names and dates and violà! First up is the death notice for Stefania his wife in the Newark Evening News on October 31, 1941.

*Death notice 10/31/1941 Newark Evening News*

Next up was searching for John which didn’t take long.

*John Posluszny’s death notice 2/3/1942*

I was struck by the word “Suddenly”. I thought if it was a car accident like Janine said, there might be an article about it. I found the paper for February 2nd and started at the beginning of the newspaper. A few pages in I caught the words “Auto Accidents”.

*Details of accident that killed John Posluszny* – *he also went by the name of “John Post”*

Such a tragedy! Never get out of your car!

I think the reason he was going to be cremated was, Stefania had died only 3 months before the accident. Martha who was married, but soon to be divorced, was now responsible for her father’s funeral and burial and maybe the expense was too much for her to take on and the cremation was the cost-effective option.

I emailed a request through Find a Grave for a volunteer to take pictures of Stefania and John’s grave sites and hopefully someone will have some spare time to do that.

This new found information has answered the questions I had about John’s death and burial. Hopefully soon I will have a picture of his – Tombstone.