I met someone in a Facebook group with the Posluszny surname. We chatted a little and with some of the information she gave me, I went down the ancestry rabbit hole for her.
I found a few inconsistencies in the information she gave me, matched my census findings with newspaper articles, and typed it up and emailed it to her.
She was thankful for the information I sent over, but she was not very receptive to the potential corrections to her family stories! So I just said, “you’re welcome” and will move on.
This morning, I read a post from a family history blog I follow and the writer uncovered some really interesting – and not all sunshine and roses – information about an ancestor that was pretty fascinating and it took some work to find it.
Our families are our families, warts and all. Some of the stories from the Jakiela side of my family were crazy and the skeletons in the Posluszny closet are a little shocking. But uncovering them sometimes puts the stories into perspective.
My previous post was about my mother, Betty, about her life growing up and how she lived. This one is about her and what I remember. Most of the time period I’m talking about here is from the early 60s through 1987 when she died.
Betty and John 1987
My mother was casual. She didn’t have jobs where she had to wear business clothes. She didn’t wear jeans (I don’t think she ever had a pair?!), but she wore comfortable clothes. She wore dresses to church every week along with a hat until we didn’t have to wear them anymore. In our 20s, my dad would give us money to go Christmas shopping for clothes for her. I think we did a pretty good job! We would find pants and nice tops and sweaters. She always seemed happy to get them and wore them so I guess she did! I liked doing that.
My mother didn’t wear makeup. She probably had some 20-year-old stuff hanging around and I remember one time Janice put it on her when she was going out. That must be why I have no idea (or think I have no idea) how to put it on!
My mother was LOUD! When we were young and playing in the neighborhood, she would WHISTLE for us. Like dogs! And you could hear it from just about any area of the circle (picture houses in the middle and the street is a circle around them). So embarrassing.! And when she went to football or basketball games when we were in high school her yell was so loud! My sisters and I of course, now are probably just as loud as she was!
My mother was friendly. When she went to track meets, I remember kids sitting with her and talking and she was always friendly to them. In my teenage brain I’d be saying “ugh”, but looking back, she set that example for us. I think all three of us are very comfortable and interested in what young people have to say.
My mom was involved in our school working at book sales, as part of the Mothers Circle at church, as part of the Mother of Twins Club, and with our Brownie and Girl Scout troops. But she didn’t get involved with any sports politics or try to ingratiate herself with any coaches (ok, only cheerleading coach), and when I felt the need to defend myself or my sister she was fine with it.
My dad would take us on walks or bike rides on Sundays around town to give her some time alone. I’m sure she never had to suggest it, he was more than willing, but I’m sure she really appreciated it! I imagine we three were pretty exhausting.
SHE WAS A READER! I feel like that deserves all caps. She had more books and magazines than even I have ever had! There were 2 bookcases at her childhood home on Clifton Street full of books that I’m sure were all hers. She was a member of the Readers Digest Condensed Books program with 4 books a year and each contained 4-5 books. Nancy Drew, Cherry Ames, and other teenage girl book series were on those shelves! I think some might have been above our reading maturity level, but we read them anyway and she didn’t stop us! She subscribed to 3 or 4 magazines a month that were collected on the end tables through the year(s). She would buy years worth of National Geographic magazines at tag sales. She just loved the written word. I can clearly see her sitting at the table for breakfast with a book in her lap, drinking her coffee, and eating toast. There was never a book or magazine not by her side.
She and her siblings stayed close both in their physical locations and by gathering together. They all continued to live in Wallingford and raise their families and we always got together for Christmas, Easter, and kids’ birthday parties. I’m glad they did that. It could have gone a lot differently because of the age difference in all the kids, but with her niece (Judy) having her first child (Ann) only one year after us twins, it gave them all a new connection. She was particularly close to Aunt Tootsie who was like her second mother and Uncle Connie who was unmarried until the early 1960s when she married Auntie Ann who had 2 adult children and they lived right next to Kendrick Park so we so them very often stopping in for his delicious baked treats!
She was a good woman and a good mother and she lead by example rather than telling us what to do and how we should be as we grew up. I think that sticks more than words!
Judging from the ages of Mal, Jack, and Judy, this picture was taken sometime in 1943. Uncle Connie enlisted in November of 1942 and was working as a cook in an Army base in Texas. Elizabeth and Tootsie took a trip to visit him in August of 1943.
Knowing that Konrad died and how he died right after Christmas in 1944 makes these pictures a little more poignant.
This is another picture from the same day based on the clothing. I can’t help but notice the shapeless dress and hand-sewn hem! Gram had very long hair but it was always worn slicked back in a bun.
In January 2020, I told the story of my grandmother Julia Ingram Posluszny taking in her cousin Mary Kukulska Juszczak‘s baby when Mary died in childbirth in 1910. Three or four years later, when Julia had 3 children of her own under the age of 4, she gave the child up for adoption to a family who heard of her situation.
Fast forward to last week – I was updating some hints in my ancestry tree and my half-second cousin Kerry’s tree showed Mary still alive after 1910 with another husband! I thought that was impossible and messaged her. Well, as the saying goes, she had the receipts!
We deduced that it was Mary’s husband, John, who passed away in 1910 or early 1911. It was coincidental that her daughter was also born in 1910.
Kerry directed me to the marriage license for Mary and her second husband Michael Zupka from June 18, 1911. They lived on Jefferson Street in Yonkers where the majority of my grandmother’s family lived also.
But just in case you’re saying “wait, what about the child?”, Mary gave birth to a son Michael in April of 1912. We have no record of her death and baby Michael died in November of 1912. All the record we currently have is a picture of the family headstone listing Michael and Mary 1912 / 8 months.
So plot twist! John died in 1910/1911, and Mary remarried Michael in 1911, bringing her daughter Elizabeth Mary with her. She gets pregnant and gives birth to Michael in 1912. She dies giving birth in April? She dies in November with Michael? Whatever the situation, Michael the father, gives Elizabeth Mary to Julia Ingram to raise because he’s got no ties to her. Julia takes her and now has a 2-year-old and 1-year-old of her own and an additional 2-year-old. She then gives birth to her third child in February 1913. She hung on as long as she could but the wheels were in motion based on her statement to the court in August of 1914. Elizabeth Mary was adopted by the Fauths in October 1914.
When I spoke to Sandi, Elizabeth Mary’s daughter about this twist, she said he mother only said that her mother died in childbirth. Maybe she didn’t remember her mother and so thought it was a result of her own birth.
Betty was born Elizabeth Ann Posluszny on April 5, 1922, in New Britain Connecticut where her family – mother, father, 2 brothers, and 2 sisters – lived in the 2-story house of her mother’s Ingram relative. She was five years younger than her next sibling and 13 years removed from her oldest sister Antoinette (Tootsie).
Her family had left Yonkers New York around 1921, lived briefly in East Hampton MA, and then moved on to New Britain where my grandfather worked as a hatter and also owned a hat shop – Conrad Hat Company at 317 Main Street. The family story is, that it burned down and he had no insurance. In 1925, they are all living at 121 Clifton Street in Wallingford which was “brand new” and where someone in the family lived until 1989. Conrad went to work at the steel mill after working in the hat industry his whole adult life.
Betty was a little bit spoiled but most information about her over the years came from her sister Judy who was the baby of the family until Betty came along! When the family moved to Wallingford her oldest sister didn’t move on to high school. She worked for people at Choate cleaning (not verifiable). If Betty wanted something and her mother couldn’t afford it, she would tell Tootsie to buy it for Betty. Both Gram and Tootsie were incredible seamstresses and could look at something in a store window, go home, and re-create it.
In high school, Betty bowled, played basketball, and was a drum major with the marching band. After graduating she went to Laurel School of Business Administration in Meriden and then went to work at one of the International Silver factory offices.
Because she was quite a bit younger than her siblings, they were getting married and having kids when she was still a teenager! Her older brother Lou and his wife Irene, had their first child, Judith, when Betty was 19. This is the same Judy who was such an incredible help to us before her diagnosis, during her illness, and when she died. Judy and Betty had a close relationship because of the time spent together when Judy was growing up. My sisters and I share a close relationship with Judy’s kids they are both smiling down on.
She traveled quite a bit based on the postcards she wrote and then took them back from family members she sent them to! She and her sister Tootsie took a trip to Texas in 1943 to visit their brother Connie while he was in the army. The following year, she and her friends traveled to California to visit her mother’s sister, Tante Lizzie, and Uncle Ben who lived in Los Angeles. There were also many trips to Atlantic City, Washington DC, and one trip to a ranch in New York to ride horses! Her photos from these trips were all put in albums and labeled with names and dates and are a wonderful look back at her life.
She also had a few boyfriends! She and her girlfriends were always in pictures with different guys, but I’m sure they were just friends! There was one though, Angelo Losi, that her sister Judy says my mom really thought she would marry. Another serious one was a young man in the army from Boone Iowa. Unfortunately, his mother died and he went home, never to return. But, as we know, everything happens for a reason!
While working in an office and bowling in a league, Betty became friendly with Helen Jakiela and Helen’s brother John would give them a ride home. Helen knew something was up when John started bringing her home first! I don’t know what year this was but I do know that they dated for a few years because Betty gave John an ultimatum of “either propose or move on!”. That was the nudge that John needed. They were engaged and got married on November 8, 1952.
Janice came along in September of 1958 and “the twins” Nancy and Gail in April of 1960. They bought the house I now live in on Atkinson Lane in May of 1961 with its 4 bedrooms sitting on almost a half acre of land with apple trees, a cherry tree, raspberry bushes, and more. A dream house for a family of five!
Betty was a full-time mom until we were in 4th and 6th grade. She was very involved with Mother’s Circle at Holy Trinity Church, Mother of Twins Club, and any bake sales or book clubs happening at school. She was the president of both organizations. When the church started its bazaar, she was always involved in running a booth and eventually was chairman of the whole thing!
She went back to work as an office manager for different small companies and helped my dad with the bookkeeping at the paint store. Her last job was working for our neighbor’s construction company. There were 2 brothers who built many of the developments in Wallingford. Her office would move at the start of every development to the first home built. She really enjoyed working for them and with the other employees and talking with their friends who would stop by the office. We remain good friends with them and their children whom we used to babysit!
Her last big adventure before she got sick, I told you about it in my first post was when she won a trip to Ireland on St. Patrick’s Day 1986. She and my dad flew there in August and spent a week on a bus tour and also on their own. They had a wonderful time and she brought us back wonderful gifts. I’m so glad they had that one final adventure to remember before everything happened.
So this was Betty’s life up to her illness. Next time will be about what made Betty – Betty.
I think I’ve always wanted to put this period of time in writing because it was a huge turning point in my life. It was the end of me and the beginning of me all rolled into one.
My mother, Betty, started acting oddly in the fall of 1986. She and my father took a trip to Ireland that she WON on St. Patrick’s Day that March through WELI radio. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was upstairs after taking a shower, hearing a shout and a crash, and immediately thinking “oh my God, they said her name!”. And yes, they did, and they hung up on her because she was so excited! The trip was great and they had a wonderful time together but shortly after that, she became more forgetful than usual.
By 1986, I was the only daughter living at home and my three-plus-year relationship had ended in October. Which was probably for the best with what lie ahead. December rolled around and I noticed she hadn’t done any Christmas shopping. She always shopped for all of us and would have stacks of presents on Christmas morning (sometimes wrapping until the early hours!). It took her out to the stores in Hamden and we shopped for everyone, including me!
The holiday went well and we all got together again that week because Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal were in town. I went to work in the morning and then headed over in the afternoon and Mom was home and was coming on her own. We waited, and waited. When we called, she said she was coming, she’d be there soon and we waited some more. When she finally came, she fell asleep on the couch head back in the crowd of people.
After the first of the year, things just got stranger. All my life, Sunday mornings we went to church for 9:15 mass. But suddenly, she’d still be sitting reading the paper at 9 am. We’d hustle her up to get ready and we’d barely make it. Another Sunday, it was Auntie Edna’s surprise birthday party at the Knight’s hall and we barely made it before the guest of honor!
I worked at Channel 8 in the Programming Department and I would come in every morning and laugh and say “oh my God you won’t believe what my mother did last night!”. Until one day I came in and said to my boss “I think there’s something wrong with my mother”, and burst into tears. Larry Manne, bless his soul, rolled with it, listened, and gave me a hug.
Shortly after that, Gail and I reached out to our cousin Judy Behme. Judy was our first cousin and my godmother and her kids were our age and she was someone we always knew we could turn to. I was at Judy’s house and we were on the phone with Gail trying to figure out what was going on. I think at one point an actual thought we all agreed on was “I hope it’s a brain tumor and not Alzheimer’s” because, with a tumor, there could be surgery and recovery! Little did we know….
Back in January (!) I wrote a couple of posts about my mother and grandmother and a previously unknown relative who had a higher DNA match to me than my first cousins. Even as I wrote those posts, I already knew the answer but I guess I just didn’t want to put it out to the universe.
The DNA (and that chart that says “with X amount of DNA this person is this or that”) doesn’t lie – Joanne, the mystery relative is my half-aunt!
While I realize it doesn’t have a significant effect on my life, it’s still a WHOA moment. First of all, after 60 years we are Posluszny in name only?! Second of all, there are two whole new lines of ancestors. Third? Medical history! I have to correct some paperwork in the next few months!
Jacob Engram Jr. in France @1919
So there he is – Jacob Engram Jr (somewhere in the early 1900s the Ingram became Engram) – my (and my sister’s!) biological grandfather. He and my grandmother, Julia Ingram Posluszny (don’t know the exact lineage there yet!) had a relationship which resulted in my mother being born in 1922. The family moved from Yonkers NY in 1920 to Massachusetts, then to New Britain CT in 1921 where they lived in a 2 family house with Ingram relatives.
Did they move because of that relationship? My grandmother was 7 years older than Jacob – and married! Let’s say it took place in 1920 – my grandmother was 32 (and married!), and he was 25 and single.
But if there’s any doubt about it, I received pictures from my Aunt Joanne and here is one with her and her father –
My biggest complaint about research family is I don’t want to know just dates and places, I want to know what life was like! I want to know what they were doing and feeling! Alas, aside from what I learn from Michelle, my favorite medium, I will never know.
But! As I was googling around Google, I was led to these!
Images of America – Yonkers Images of America – Throggs Neck – Pelham Bay
I can’t wait to get them! I love the one we have of Wallingford and I search the pictures for familiar locations and how they looked in the past. Although I won’t have that familiarity with Yonkers and Pelham Bay, I will be looking at places were my family lived and worked. You all know Yonkers is where Julia and Konrad Posluszny as well as a majority of his family lived before they moved northward to Connecticut. The Pelham Bay book is for Joanne and the other Ingram family I mentioned a post or two ago. Her father and grandfather had farms in the Pelham Bay Area and the book description mentioned the farmland in the area. I’m excited to get a glimpse and imagine one or two of the pictures are of their farms.
I may not get their actual memories but I will try to imagine them as I look through the books.
Elizabeth Ann Posluszny, my mother, was born in April of 1922. Her mother, Juliana Ingram, was 34 and her father, Konrad Posluszny was 36 years old.
Betty, as she was known, was the youngest of five. Aunt Tootsie (Antoinette) was the oldest, born in 1909. Uncle Connie in 1910, Uncle Lou in 1913 and Aunt Judy in 1917.
Everyone was born in Yonkers, New York except Betty. After the 1920 census the family moved to Easthampton Massachusetts. According to Aunt Judy, her mother was so unhappy living there that “she didn’t even encourage my father to find a job” and “she didn’t unpack any boxes”. Next we know, Betty’s born in New Britain Connecticut and the family is living in an apartment owned by an Ingram cousin and by 1925 they bought 121 Clifton Street in Wallingford.
Connie b. 1910 with Betty b. 1922 Aunt Judy and Betty
Betty grew up in Wallingford and had whatever she wanted. If her mother couldn’t afford it, her oldest sister Tootsie who left school after 8th grade would buy it for her. She took dance lessons, played basketball and was a majorette with the high school band. She wasn’t as craft oriented as her sisters – she didn’t knit or crochet or do needlework, or sew; but she had her mother and sisters for that! She loved to read and collected postcards buying blank ones on her trips or keeping ones that arrived at the house.
Betty traveled a lot after high school. She and Tootsie took a train trip to Texas to visit Connie in the army after Betty graduated from high school in 1940. Betty and her cousin Pauline traveled by train to California to visit their Tanta Lizzie and Uncle Ben (Weiss) and see the sights of Los Angeles. Her collection of postcards sent to her family tell of her travels and the fun she had.
My DNA mystery match, Joanne, was born in 1945 and in our earlier emails she said she had been to Wallingford in the past with her parents. She was around 7 years old and went to the wedding of “an older couple”. They missed the ceremony but made it to the reception and she remembered “stepping down into the hall”. It was my parents wedding and the reception was at the old Moose Club on Long Hill Road. How strange I thought that they would be there as we never had any communication with them that I knew of. I wondered what else she would remember of our family or if there had ever been any other trips to Wallingford!
Ingram Family date unknownIngram Family date unknown
Most of you know I have been researching all sides of our family when Ancestry.com was a twinkle in the creators’ eye. It started with personal stories, microfilm at the library, town clerk records, funeral cards that were kept in dresser drawers (when hoarding is a good thing). God bless Aunt Tootsie for being the keeper of family photos and Judy Behme for working with me and for handing over these photos for preservation.
Ancestry.com with it’s public records all in one place, online family trees and the creation of DNA matches has been a gold mine (but sometimes a curse!). I have been able to work alongside cousin Cathy Bellafronto on the other side of the world to add members to the tree.
But even with new information available, Grammy Julianna Ingram Posluszny born February 19, 1888 continues to be a little bit of a mystery to us in the present day.
We know this for fact – she had 2 sisters in the United States. Mary (Marianna, Marya) born 1891 who later became Mary Wirth mother of cousin Katherine and cousin Pauline; and Elizabeth (Elzbieta) born 1894, and married to Ben Weiss (Uncle Ben and Tante Lizzie of Los Angeles). However, Grammy’s obituary mentions 4 sisters, with 2 of them in Poland along with a brother Walter also in Poland.
Recent website discoveries show me yes indeed, there are 4 sisters – Marianna, Elzbieta, Zofia (b. 1898) and Christine (b. 1901). However, there is no record of Walter, but there is Franciszek Jozef born in 1896! Well, there are 2 boys in the picture at the top. So now we have Julianna born 1888, Mariana in 1891, Elzbieta 1894, Franciszek 1896, Zofia 1898 and Christina 1901. And Walter. So there are a few more people – mother Gertruda and father Ludwick and someone else – in the picture but I think we have the siblings fleshed out now.
Which leads to another mystery. Family stories and a medium agree that Julianna was young when she came to the United States. Younger than stated in manifest records. But how young? One record that has been found by me and cousin Loisanne list a Julianna Ingram arrived in New York on June 19, 1896 from Bremen on the Bonn. Based on the year she would have been NINE YEARS OLD. Possible? Then is she even in the second picture?
Her marriage license to Konrad Posluszny in July of 1906 states she is 19 years old consistent with a 1887/1888 birth year. The 1910 census says she immigrated in 1900 and the 1920 census is a little hard to read but transcription also says 1900 which would make her a more reasonable 12(!). So where is her ship manifest record? Maybe they fudged her age but would they really send her off at nine years old and if so, why? Did she travel under a different name? Unfortunately the records online from Padew – actually living, breathing scanned copies of the records which force me to keep my Polish to English and Latin to English app open – only run from 1890 to 1899 so, no record of Julianna’s birth.
Maybe there was something going on? Reasons they felt she should leave? It wouldn’t be the first time that they lied about age. Marianna’s manifest record says she was 18 years old for her trip in 1907 when she was actually 16 years old.
So there it is — if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, comments – please share them! What I have discovered is my great great grandparents are Sebastian Ingram and Elizabetha Burghardt and Andreas Kahl and Catherine Jung.
It's All About Family 