Ingram – Page 3 – It's All About Family

The Story Teller

The topic for Week 25 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks, is The Story Teller.

I’ll tell you how and why I started researching and writing about my ancestors.

American history was one of my favorite subjects in school. How the United States was created, and the people involved. The first biography I read was on Abigail Adams in elementary school. I loved the Little House on the Prarie books imagining what life was like in those days.

I noticed in my 20s that I asked many questions about people – where they came from, their families, education – and I loved hearing stories about them and their lives.

Everyone on my maternal side of the family lived nearby so I knew their names, I knew the names of my maternal great-grandparents because their pictures were hanging on the wall at my grandmother’s house (just their faces – it was a little strange!). On the left in the background of the picture below are my grandmother Julianna and grandfather Konrad. On the right is my maternal great-grandmother Gertrude and great-grandfather Ludwig.

Uncle Connie, Aunt Tootsie, and Aunt Judy 1960

My paternal side was similar but different. Out of 5 siblings, 3 lived in the Wallingford. One, Uncle Eddie, lived in Meriden with his wife and two sons. I have no memory of meeting Aunt Ann or his sons although we went to a son’s wedding when I was 9 or 10. Uncle Walt was in the Navy and lived primarily in California and Louisianna with his wife and two sons.

So what prompted my Ancestry search and storytelling?

The ancestry part came about on our move from California to Connecticut. We stopped in Meeker Oklahoma to visit with my husband’s family. We met with his sister Linda and Cody and I met his Aunt Katherine and Great-Aunt Mildred. Aunt Mildred was her family researcher. She had family sheets for her and her husband Jesse and all of Jesse’s siblings, at least 10 that lived to adulthood including my husband’s grandmother Virgia Cleo.

While reading through the family sheets and various notes, it was exciting to think about the place in history this family held. It made me curious about mine.

Between 1995 and 2000, I used Family Tree Maker software for my work. In 2000, Ancestry created its website to help people share their family trees and information. I still had to mail requests for documents but this was a good start. Once documents started coming and people added more information, it was easier to piece information together. The stronger Ancestry has become the more family there is and the DNA connections made it even stronger. My Heritage is another site I joined because it is a better tool for Eastern European records.

From there, I started asking questions of my older family members like my dad and his siblings and my mother’s two sisters. They were all full of information and of course, Aunt Tootsie had all the family pictures. The stories they told were usually stand-alone but sometimes a comment would be a clue to help something else suddenly make sense or confirm what someone else had said. I remember how crazy it was to discover my half-aunt Joanne through DNA when we couldn’t figure out how we were related or to hear about my grandmother taking in her cousin’s infant daughter and then seeing the documents where she had to give her up for adoption because of her own growing family.

I’m always excited when I find new ancestors or learn the dates and locations where they lived. It helps to piece together their lives and the stories are created from there. Some people left us far too soon. By telling their stories, someone will realize they got those woodworking skills from their dad, grandfather, AND great-grandfather. Or that fierceness comes from their great-grandmother. Telling their stories keeps the connections to the past alive.

Creativity

The topic for Week 22 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is Creativity!

I feel like I have shared so much over these 21 weeks of the creative talents in my family with my grandmother Julianna Ingram Posluzny and her plants and needlework and dressmaking, my Aunt Tootsie with her knitting and sewing talents, and my dad with his carpentry and picture framing skills.

But there are additional creative people in my family tree and as usual, I’m not going to go very far up the limbs because I pretty much only know 3 generations back, counting my own! The definition of creative says: “Relating to or involving the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work.”

First up – my husband Mark. Besides being an awesome carpenter/designer, my husband likes to paint. He “dabbles” in it, and I try to get him to do a little more, but he won’t listen to me. Here are a few of his pictures that I have taken from the pile of canvases in the basement.

Next is my sister Gail who has such a talent for words and writing poems! I don’t know if she does anymore but she wrote some wonderful ones while we were growing up, including one about being twins.

Besides picture framing, my dad had a really artistic side. As I was thinking about this post, I remembered he would make dried-flower pictures and frame them with beautiful mats and frames. It was the 70s and that was really in.

Remember the Currier & Ives calendars? He received them at the paint store and he would take a picture and make a shadow box! For example, with this picture, he would paint the sides to extend the scenery, and add little people to look like they were standing on the shore, there might even be a boat or two! He loved making them and all the grandkids got one when they were young.

Culinary creativity runs in the family too! My dad’s brother Steve Jakiela was a butcher extraordinaire for over 40 years at Caplan’s Market in Wallingford. He learned on the job and could likely carve up a carcass with his eyes closed!

My mother’s brother Conrad Posluszny was a talented baker who started out with “Old Mr. Heilman” at his bakery, was a baker at Choate School in the early 50s, owned Connie’s Bake Shop at 96 Quinnipiac Street in Wallingford, currently the location of something called “The Shop”. He met Auntie Anne (Martineck Yasensky), who he would marry in 1962 while he owned the bakery. In the late 50s, he went to work as the baker at Masonic Home and was there, working overnight to prepare delicious desserts and breads until he passed away while at work in November of 1981.

My cousin Judy Posluszny Behme inherited that culinary creativity gene and could whip up anything you asked her too. Uncle Connie probably made her wedding cake in 1959 and she made MY wedding cake in 1988. We loved going to her house for holidays.

I think everyone in my family has a creative streak in them and if I didn’t include you here please forgive me! Share it with us in the comments, or in the Facebook comments.

Nicknames

The topic for week 21 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is – Nicknames.

Where do they start? Is it a shortening of someone’s name? Something someone said, something they did? In my family, it’s a little bit of everything!

In my mother’s family, there were some simple nicknames – Elizabeth was known as Betty and Conrad was called Connie. But Antoinette became Tootsie! In my head I can hear her being called T and maybe that turned into Toot and from there – Tootsie. I don’t think we ever heard the story of her nickname.

In my father’s family, their nicknames may have been more the version of their names. Steve was called Stas in a letter from their uncle. Walt was known as Vots, Helen was Helchie, and my dad John was called Yunk and Yunkie all his life.

When I was growing up we were told the names my sisters and I were given, Janice, Gail, and Nancy, were so people couldn’t make nicknames out of them! Of course, we are called Janny, Gaily, Nan or Nanner, so that theory went right out the window! Maybe my mother didn’t enjoy being called Betty instead of Elizabeth so she tried to prevent something like that.

In high school, my twin Gail and I were called JakTwin 1 and JakTwin 2. Eventually for me, it was shortened to Jak and is a name some friends still call me today. A few have said they didn’t know my first name was really Nancy!

My husband Mark, for much of his adult life was called Rocky. You might think it was because he was big and strong like Rocky Balboa. Unfortunately, no. It was for Rocket J. Squirrel, the pal of Bullwinkle because he was “flighty”. Friends said he would say one thing and do another.

Do you have a nickname? How do you feel about it?

Love and Marriage

🎵 Love and Marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage….🎵

The topic for week 18 in 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is: Love and Marriage.

I don’t know anything about the love lives of my ancestors, but there are two couples who had long married lives.

The first would be my great-uncle Walter Bonk and his wife Beatrice. I knew them as Uncle Walt and Aunt Bea. He was my grandfather’s half brother, born during my great grandmother’s second marriage. I only saw them once a year at the Pickerel Lake 4th of July parties along with their adult children and grandchildren and they always brought Great Aunt Mary, my grandfather’s sister.

Walter was born in 1903 in Wildenthal, in the Galician area of Austria. He and my great-grandmother, her husband John, and Walt’s half sisters Mary and Elizabeth came to the United States in 1907. They went from Yonkers, to New Jersey, to finally Wallingford.

Walter met Beatrice and they were married in 1925 in New Haven. They lived in New Haven until his father’s second wife Viola died in 1937 and they inherited the home on East Street. They had four children, Ann, LaVerne, Joan, and Henry who all grew up in Wallingford.

Uncle Walt died in 1998 at the age of 94. At that time they were married for Seventy-Three Years. 73! That was longer than my mother was alive! Aunt Bea lived until the age of 98 and she died in 2003.

The second couple with a long, happy, married life was my mother’s sister, Judy, and her husband Mal. I wrote about their marriage here. They were married in 1939 and were together until Uncle Mal’s death in 2002 at the age of 89. They lived down the road from us in Wallingford for many years until they moved to Florida. They were together for 63 years. Aunt Judy lived for another 14 years until she died in 2016 at 99 years old.

*Aunt Judy and Uncle May – 50th Anniversary and 1939 wedding*

Now, I wouldn’t want you to think that it takes being married to live a long happy life because my Aunt Tootsie is the exception to that!

Aunt Tootsie dated Uncle Lester for a number of years while they were both taking care of ailing mothers. They finally married in November of 1960 and lived in Wallingford with my grandmother. Uncle Lester died of a heart attack short of three years later in August of 1963. Gram died in 1967 and Aunt Tootsie lived alone in the house on Clifton Street.

Aunt Tootsie found love again with someone she and Uncle Lester had known for a number of years. She and Andy were married in November of 1978 and lived on Clifton Street but, unfortunately, Andy died short of three years later in August of 1981. Weird right?

Aunt Tootsie continued to live in the house on Clifton Street until she moved to an apartment in the Judd Square apartments and then to Westfield Nursing home. She died in September 2010 at the age of 101.

*Newspaper article on her 100th birthday*

The Effects of War

The topic for Week 17 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is WAR.

Over the life of this blog, I’ve talked about family members who have been in World War I like my paternal grandfather Charles Jakiela, and my Uncle Walt in World War II.

*paternal grandfather Charles Jakiela abt. 1923*

My grandmother’s brother Bronislaw Liro went BACK to Poland only a year or two before World War I broke out and managed to escape from Siberia!

My biological maternal grandfather, Jacob Engram, was in World War I as a member of the 49th Infantry out of New York. My lifelong maternal grandfather, Konrad Posluszny, didn’t serve in the war but he had four young children at home when the First World War broke out.

There was the aftermath of World War II as described by my grandfather’s brother Antoni in his letter to my dad and his siblings in the United States. “Even Helenka’s photo on a pony bothered them hanging on a wall.”

My mother’s brother, Connie, and her brother-in-law Mal both served in World War II. Connie was a cook in a San Antonio training camp. I have no records of him anywhere on the Fold3 website but in the videos from conversations with Aunt Judy, she said he was a cook and they had to pack up the kitchen when the fighting got close. The possibility of Connie going overseas was the family’s explanation when his father Konrad committed suicide in late December of 1944.

My husband’s dad Harold, uncle Ronald, and his step-dad Paul were all in the Korean War. Harold was a cook and Paul was in the motor pool in Korea. Ronald was in a tank during his time in Korea and it was a time that had a lifelong effect on him.

My dad, John, enjoyed his time overseas. He enlisted in February of 1943 in the Army/Air Force and headed overseas to Suffolk England. He talked very fondly of his time there at an airfield base and I think it was because he could leave home. He was living with his oldest brother, Steve, Steve’s wife, their two young sons, and John’s sister, Helen. I know he was grateful that he had a home, but I think it was a little crowded! He recalled to my sisters and me that when it was time to board the train to head off, parents and sons were crying. His only thought was, “This is an adventure!”. He volunteered for hatchman duty on the transport ship to England because it gave him privacy. At Great Ashfield Airforce Base near Stowmarket England, the location of the 385th Bombardment Group of the USAAF, he was a Corporal of the MPs on the base. He was back in the United States by September of 1945.

*John Jakiela, Corporal Army Air Force Word War II*

He had a picture of his squadron framed and hanging in his basement work area. We loved to take it from its spot and listen to his stories of the men in the picture.

He kept his address book of local friends and their war addresses along with the addresses of people he met while in the service. I have it now and like to flip through it to look at the various names.

He had a few Suffolk locals listed in there. One is Joyce Filby of Finningham England, who I think was his girlfriend while he was there. Another is the Hammond Family of Wetherden. I have a letter they wrote in November of 1947. Although the war was over for two years, they were still having difficulty getting food and were being strictly rationed for bread and potatoes. “Things are getting worse instead of better.” That sounds similar to Great Uncle Antoni’s letter from Poland in January of 1947!

Although some of the men had difficulties once they came back to the United States and their families, I’m grateful they all came back.

Story Update Mary Kukulska

In January of 2020, I wrote a story about my grandmother Juliana Ingram Posluszny Taking in her cousin’s daughter after her cousin, Mary Kukulska Juszczak died in childbirth. Mary’s granddaughter sent me a copy of the court documents for the adoption that included my grandmother’s affidavit.

While doing some research, I saw information on a 5th cousin’s tree that didn’t match what I had so I checked in with her. Make sure you go back and read the original story!

Come to find out, Mary successfully gave birth to her daughter Mary in 1910. Her husband John was the one who passed away in 1910 from an accident at the sugar factory.

With an infant to take care of, Mary married Michael Zupka in June of 1911. Shortly thereafter she became pregnant and gave birth in March of 1912 and, did you guess it? She died in childbirth. Their son Michael died as an infant in November of 1912.

I don’t know at what point Mary’s stepfather gave her to grandmother to take care of. Likely when her mother died, and I wonder who took care of baby Michael until his death 8 months later. My grandmother kept her until the strain of trying to raise three toddlers of her own became too much for her. Michael Zupka remarried in July of 1913 and went on to have 3 children. He passed away in 1955.

I relayed this new information to Mary’s granddaughter and she said her mother only knew her mother died in childbirth. It was just with the wrong child! When Mary got married to Michael Zupka it was using her married name Juszczak and I never thought the story was any different.

Mary’s daughter was adopted by a lovely couple who had lost their daughter in 1914 to diphtheria. She had a very happy life and knew she was adopted but never wanted her daughter to find her biological family. Her daughter found the adoption paperwork when she was cleaning out her grandmother’s house.

Heading To A New Life

Week 7 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is all about Immigration.

It’s impossible to focus on just one ancestor because they all left the same region between the ages of 4 and 51 between 1899 and 1912.

My maternal grandmother, Julianna Ingram in 1903 at 16 years old followed by one sister 4 years later and another sister 8 years after that.

My paternal grandfather Charles Jakiela in 1905 at 15 years old without any siblings ever following him. Traveling to Southington Connecticut and shortly after to Palmer Massachusetts to work in the textile mills.

Imagine sending your child, first on a (present day) 14 hour overland trip to get to the port of Bremen Germany. From there, they would board a steam ship to travel to New York and start a new life – without you. Neither Julianna or Charles ever returned.

You couldn’t just pick up a phone a find out how their trip was or are they getting enough sleep, and have they found a job yet?

My maternal grandfather Konrad Posluszny immigrated in 1900 at 16 years old. He had the benefit of uncles already in Yonkers, New York and all his brothers arrives in the next five years. His mother, step father, 2 sisters, and a half brother, arrive 7 years after he did. They were lucky to all be together in the “new country”.

My grandmother Julianna left behind her parents, and 2 sisters and a brother, one or two were born after she left. I wonder how affect they were by the first and second word wars because we do know how Charles’s family fared.

When my aunt passed away in 2015, I found a letter from 1947 in Polish from my paternal grandfather’s brother Antoni. A friend of a friend transcribed it for me and was taken aback by how resigned the author was to their fate.

I’m grateful that they all did immigrate!

It’s All About Family All Year Long

I’m starting, and hopefully I will complete, a “challenge” called 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks #52Ancestors.

I’ve been spending more time on my other site Thoughts From the Passenger Seat writing about thoughts that pop into my head, or answering the daily prompts. It’s easier! I don’t have to dig through the paperwork or get frustrated searching on Ancestry.

But I miss it….and I bet you do too!

Starting this week I’ll be writing one story a week based on the prompt provided. It won’t always be dates and facts and it could be about any one in my family – maybe even you!

The Season of Betty – Part 3

Where were we? Oh yes, we left off on my mother’s first night home from the hospital. We moved a bed down to the dining room and set it up for her until my dad got a hospital bed for her.

The next morning, my Aunt Tootsie and Auntie Edna showed up to begin their weekday routine. They would sit working on their crafts, cleaning, making food for my mother, and making us dinner. They knew each other superficially; Aunt Tootsie was my mother’s sister and Auntie Edna was my father’s sister-in-law. My mother and Auntie Edna loved to drive around town hitting tag (garage) sales on the weekend.

Aunt Bea (by marriage), mom, Aunt Tootsie, Grammy seated

My dad and I went off to our jobs knowing my mother was in good hands. I loved my job at Channel 8 so much, it helped me put everything else out of my mind. My boss and friends were so kind about what I was going through.

My dad and I developed a routine of dinner together, then I’d head out to Spa Lady in North Haven for my workout, and when I came home, my dad would head down to the VFW. He came home before 10, and we’d get my mom ready for bed. Gail would come over to help and visit in the evenings too. She and my dad both worked at Gaylord Hospital so they would talk about people they knew.

It became apparent early on that my mother wasn’t going to be mobile for very long. I had to help her to the bathroom when I was home but not realizing how weak she was, I lost grip and bang her head into the wall a couple of times! She would laught and say “it’s ok!” while I was apologizing profusely! It wasn’t long before she was bedridden and using a commode. You don’t realize how capable you are until you have to take care of someone in this way. The first time, I might have gagged and freaked out a little. The second and beyond, no big deal.

I realized it was a small blessing that my boyfriend and I broke up in October. He lived in Hamden and I spent all my time there. If I had still been all wrapped up with him, I’m not sure what my attitude or reaction to all of this change would have been. He was still the first person I called from the hospital though when we got my mother’s diagnosis. I knew he still cared about me and I needed someone to talk to. I knew if I called him for anything during these next months, he’d be there to help me out.

Throughout the 2 months that she was sick, a visiting nurse came to the house 3 times a week. It was comforting to have her come over. A very strange thing happened one time she was there. She was checking my mother out and my mother reached out and rubbed her stomach. Come to find out she was pregnant but not showing yet! How did my mother know?

On weekends, we’d sit with her watching tv and I guess I cooked for the three of us! I definitely don’t remember. I’d go out with my friends either Friday or Saturday especially when Janice came down from Massachusetts because she’d stay overnight. I’d be out very late – I’ll leave it at that!

So diagnosis date was January 31, 1987 and we were advised by the nurse that we’d know the final stage when my mother stopped eating. Well, that happened on a Sunday in March and it must have been March 15th because I was heading to the St. Patrick’s Day parade in New Haven. Oh, I tried to make her eat! It was like trying to feed an infant who didn’t want to eat but without the crying (ok, I was), and head shaking. I just could not get her to eat. How long can someone go without eating? Long enough if they are still drinking fluids, which she was.

t was quite the afternoon and evening at the parade. These were the days when you could walk out of the bar with a drink and watch the parade!

But I had a decision to make. I was scheduled to go on a vacation with five other girls to Jamaica in a couple of weeks! It was a trip planned before she got sick. There was no doubt in my mind that I would cancel the trip. It would have been foolish to go and expect every minute to get a phone call telling me she had died. I was selfish at times but not that much! Another friend was trying to join our trip so we decided to wait until after my mother passed away and go together. It was a fateful decision.

I’m going to leave off here and pick up in another post – soon, I promise.

Story Update

In January 2020, I told the story of my grandmother Julia Ingram Posluszny taking in her cousin Mary Kukulska Juszczak‘s baby when Mary died in childbirth in 1910. Three or four years later, when Julia had 3 children of her own under the age of 4, she gave the child up for adoption to a family who heard of her situation.

Fast forward to last week – I was updating some hints in my ancestry tree and my half-second cousin Kerry’s tree showed Mary still alive after 1910 with another husband! I thought that was impossible and messaged her. Well, as the saying goes, she had the receipts!

We deduced that it was Mary’s husband, John, who passed away in 1910 or early 1911. It was coincidental that her daughter was also born in 1910.

Kerry directed me to the marriage license for Mary and her second husband Michael Zupka from June 18, 1911. They lived on Jefferson Street in Yonkers where the majority of my grandmother’s family lived also.

But just in case you’re saying “wait, what about the child?”, Mary gave birth to a son Michael in April of 1912. We have no record of her death and baby Michael died in November of 1912. All the record we currently have is a picture of the family headstone listing Michael and Mary 1912 / 8 months.

So plot twist! John died in 1910/1911, and Mary remarried Michael in 1911, bringing her daughter Elizabeth Mary with her. She gets pregnant and gives birth to Michael in 1912. She dies giving birth in April? She dies in November with Michael? Whatever the situation, Michael the father, gives Elizabeth Mary to Julia Ingram to raise because he’s got no ties to her. Julia takes her and now has a 2-year-old and 1-year-old of her own and an additional 2-year-old. She then gives birth to her third child in February 1913. She hung on as long as she could but the wheels were in motion based on her statement to the court in August of 1914. Elizabeth Mary was adopted by the Fauths in October 1914.

When I spoke to Sandi, Elizabeth Mary’s daughter about this twist, she said he mother only said that her mother died in childbirth. Maybe she didn’t remember her mother and so thought it was a result of her own birth.