I think I’ve always wanted to put this period of time in writing because it was a huge turning point in my life. It was the end of me and the beginning of me all rolled into one.
My mother, Betty, started acting oddly in the fall of 1986. She and my father took a trip to Ireland that she WON on St. Patrick’s Day that March through WELI radio. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was upstairs after taking a shower, hearing a shout and a crash, and immediately thinking “oh my God, they said her name!”. And yes, they did, and they hung up on her because she was so excited! The trip was great and they had a wonderful time together but shortly after that, she became more forgetful than usual.
By 1986, I was the only daughter living at home and my three-plus-year relationship had ended in October. Which was probably for the best with what lie ahead. December rolled around and I noticed she hadn’t done any Christmas shopping. She always shopped for all of us and would have stacks of presents on Christmas morning (sometimes wrapping until the early hours!). It took her out to the stores in Hamden and we shopped for everyone, including me!
The holiday went well and we all got together again that week because Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal were in town. I went to work in the morning and then headed over in the afternoon and Mom was home and was coming on her own. We waited, and waited. When we called, she said she was coming, she’d be there soon and we waited some more. When she finally came, she fell asleep on the couch head back in the crowd of people.
After the first of the year, things just got stranger. All my life, Sunday mornings we went to church for 9:15 mass. But suddenly, she’d still be sitting reading the paper at 9 am. We’d hustle her up to get ready and we’d barely make it. Another Sunday, it was Auntie Edna’s surprise birthday party at the Knight’s hall and we barely made it before the guest of honor!
I worked at Channel 8 in the Programming Department and I would come in every morning and laugh and say “oh my God you won’t believe what my mother did last night!”. Until one day I came in and said to my boss “I think there’s something wrong with my mother”, and burst into tears. Larry Manne, bless his soul, rolled with it, listened, and gave me a hug.
Shortly after that, Gail and I reached out to our cousin Judy Behme. Judy was our first cousin and my godmother and her kids were our age and she was someone we always knew we could turn to. I was at Judy’s house and we were on the phone with Gail trying to figure out what was going on. I think at one point an actual thought we all agreed on was “I hope it’s a brain tumor and not Alzheimer’s” because, with a tumor, there could be surgery and recovery! Little did we know….
Back in January (!) I wrote a couple of posts about my mother and grandmother and a previously unknown relative who had a higher DNA match to me than my first cousins. Even as I wrote those posts, I already knew the answer but I guess I just didn’t want to put it out to the universe.
The DNA (and that chart that says “with X amount of DNA this person is this or that”) doesn’t lie – Joanne, the mystery relative is my half-aunt!
While I realize it doesn’t have a significant effect on my life, it’s still a WHOA moment. First of all, after 60 years we are Posluszny in name only?! Second of all, there are two whole new lines of ancestors. Third? Medical history! I have to correct some paperwork in the next few months!
Jacob Engram Jr. in France @1919
So there he is – Jacob Engram Jr (somewhere in the early 1900s the Ingram became Engram) – my (and my sister’s!) biological grandfather. He and my grandmother, Julia Ingram Posluszny (don’t know the exact lineage there yet!) had a relationship which resulted in my mother being born in 1922. The family moved from Yonkers NY in 1920 to Massachusetts, then to New Britain CT in 1921 where they lived in a 2 family house with Ingram relatives.
Did they move because of that relationship? My grandmother was 7 years older than Jacob – and married! Let’s say it took place in 1920 – my grandmother was 32 (and married!), and he was 25 and single.
But if there’s any doubt about it, I received pictures from my Aunt Joanne and here is one with her and her father –
My biggest complaint about research family is I don’t want to know just dates and places, I want to know what life was like! I want to know what they were doing and feeling! Alas, aside from what I learn from Michelle, my favorite medium, I will never know.
But! As I was googling around Google, I was led to these!
Images of America – Yonkers Images of America – Throggs Neck – Pelham Bay
I can’t wait to get them! I love the one we have of Wallingford and I search the pictures for familiar locations and how they looked in the past. Although I won’t have that familiarity with Yonkers and Pelham Bay, I will be looking at places were my family lived and worked. You all know Yonkers is where Julia and Konrad Posluszny as well as a majority of his family lived before they moved northward to Connecticut. The Pelham Bay book is for Joanne and the other Ingram family I mentioned a post or two ago. Her father and grandfather had farms in the Pelham Bay Area and the book description mentioned the farmland in the area. I’m excited to get a glimpse and imagine one or two of the pictures are of their farms.
I may not get their actual memories but I will try to imagine them as I look through the books.
I’ve written a few posts about my grandmother Julianna Ingram Posluszny. Her story has always been somewhat mysterious. Family members say she came to the United States at a young age, younger than records stated, and she came alone. I have yet to find a record I can confirm as hers. Her marriage license lists her as 18 in 1906 when they got married and, the 1910 census says she immigrated in 1903 so 15 years old. You’ll see in my past posts I’ve really mulled over it!
In this last year, through DNA matches I uncovered a mystery which brought with it a whole host of new questions. Through my Aunt Tootsie’s Christmas card list came the name and email correspondence with a woman who was an Ingram relative. Cousin Judy Behme corresponded with her and after Judy’s death I inherited her ancestry paperwork and I picked up the correspondence. We knew we would be related through Ingram (obviously!) but how. Then Joanne’s children gave her an Ancestry DNA kit for Christmas 2018.
My first cousins Bob and Mal were DNA matches to me at 507 and 497 cMs approximately. I didn’t question why they were listed as Second Cousins because after all, they were the children of my mother’s sister. Some odd little quirk in the system, no big deal I thought.
I knew Joanne’s maternal family name (Duy) and had seen the name in records from the town my grandmother came from. What I didn’t understand was why I was seeing DNA matches to people associated with this last name. Weird, I thought! There must be some DNA running through the Ingram line as well!
Then, Joanne’s DNA match was processed and posted on the Ancestry website and oh my, we matched with 1,040 cMs!
Ingram Family date unknownIngram Family date unknown
Most of you know I have been researching all sides of our family when Ancestry.com was a twinkle in the creators’ eye. It started with personal stories, microfilm at the library, town clerk records, funeral cards that were kept in dresser drawers (when hoarding is a good thing). God bless Aunt Tootsie for being the keeper of family photos and Judy Behme for working with me and for handing over these photos for preservation.
Ancestry.com with it’s public records all in one place, online family trees and the creation of DNA matches has been a gold mine (but sometimes a curse!). I have been able to work alongside cousin Cathy Bellafronto on the other side of the world to add members to the tree.
But even with new information available, Grammy Julianna Ingram Posluszny born February 19, 1888 continues to be a little bit of a mystery to us in the present day.
We know this for fact – she had 2 sisters in the United States. Mary (Marianna, Marya) born 1891 who later became Mary Wirth mother of cousin Katherine and cousin Pauline; and Elizabeth (Elzbieta) born 1894, and married to Ben Weiss (Uncle Ben and Tante Lizzie of Los Angeles). However, Grammy’s obituary mentions 4 sisters, with 2 of them in Poland along with a brother Walter also in Poland.
Recent website discoveries show me yes indeed, there are 4 sisters – Marianna, Elzbieta, Zofia (b. 1898) and Christine (b. 1901). However, there is no record of Walter, but there is Franciszek Jozef born in 1896! Well, there are 2 boys in the picture at the top. So now we have Julianna born 1888, Mariana in 1891, Elzbieta 1894, Franciszek 1896, Zofia 1898 and Christina 1901. And Walter. So there are a few more people – mother Gertruda and father Ludwick and someone else – in the picture but I think we have the siblings fleshed out now.
Which leads to another mystery. Family stories and a medium agree that Julianna was young when she came to the United States. Younger than stated in manifest records. But how young? One record that has been found by me and cousin Loisanne list a Julianna Ingram arrived in New York on June 19, 1896 from Bremen on the Bonn. Based on the year she would have been NINE YEARS OLD. Possible? Then is she even in the second picture?
Her marriage license to Konrad Posluszny in July of 1906 states she is 19 years old consistent with a 1887/1888 birth year. The 1910 census says she immigrated in 1900 and the 1920 census is a little hard to read but transcription also says 1900 which would make her a more reasonable 12(!). So where is her ship manifest record? Maybe they fudged her age but would they really send her off at nine years old and if so, why? Did she travel under a different name? Unfortunately the records online from Padew – actually living, breathing scanned copies of the records which force me to keep my Polish to English and Latin to English app open – only run from 1890 to 1899 so, no record of Julianna’s birth.
Maybe there was something going on? Reasons they felt she should leave? It wouldn’t be the first time that they lied about age. Marianna’s manifest record says she was 18 years old for her trip in 1907 when she was actually 16 years old.
So there it is — if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, comments – please share them! What I have discovered is my great great grandparents are Sebastian Ingram and Elizabetha Burghardt and Andreas Kahl and Catherine Jung.
Remembering the traditions passed down through generations.
Easter memories include:
Church on Easter Sunday morning in our finest Spring clothes – usually freezing because it wasn’t quite as warm as the outfits were designed for!;
Jakiela Girls Easter 1964
Easter baskets with candy!;
Brunch after mass either at 121 Clifton Street or our house, Aunt Judy’s or Auntie Irene’s that would be eaten in shifts as families came and went…and usually involved a second round of food;
Betty at Easter
Pierogies, stuffed cabbage, hungarian cookies, kielbasa, ham, horseradish, hard rolls, rye bread with seeds, babka – my mouth is watering!;
Gram at Easter
One Easter in the 1970s that was so warm and it was conveniently at Aunt Judy’s down the street that we came back to our house, got our bathing suits on and laid out in the sun!;
An Easter Sunday that fell on Gail’s and my birthday and we got to carry the gifts to the alter;
Our first Easter without Mommy and it was at the Behme’s house and Judy had a birthday cake for Gail and me because our birthday was a week or so later;
Celebrating Easter with Cody, coloring eggs and going to Easter egg hunts (and I wasn’t knocking kids down to get candy for him!);
Cody and Wyatt 1993
Easter at cousin Joan’s house with all the kids hunting for the Golden Egg and having the Easter Bunny appear!;
Easter at Joan Jakiela’s 1997
Our first Easter without Daddy after he passed away on Palm Sunday in 2010 and Gail’s description of him entering the gates of heaven and everyone cheering for his arrival;
The traditions we continue with our families and pass down to our children that we hope they will continue when we are no longer with them.
Early in the morning and during breaks from work and in the evening when I should be watching tv, I find myself standing in front of these books and papers. When I should be sick and tired of sitting in front of a computer I plop down here sifting through “hints” and names on Ancestry.
There are some dead ends but many great finds. I finally broke down and subscribed to the World Explorer Membership which opened up a lot of records to me.
The biggest find was the Galizien German Descendants website. They’ve done incredible work compiling family information for Germans living in Galacia.
It led me to Julianna Ingram Posluszny’s parents, 2 younger sisters with their married names, and back in time to my 4th great grandmother!
On the Straub side – Caroline Straub Posluszny Bonk – it was a lucky break that I’ve been scribbling names for years because I found her parents Adam and Klara (Ingram) with her brother Albert on a list for Josefsdorf. That led me to Albert’s family listing and finally explained who Gertrud Straub, who’s buried in the plot next to Caroline Bonk at St Casimers Cemetery is – it’s her sister in law! Unfortunately Wildenthal, where the Posluszny family lived most of their lives is not part of the series. But I’m sure something will turn up!
In the meantime, some of the last names that have turned up are: Jung, Putz, Burckhard (as opposed to current day Burghardt), Karl (rather than Kahl), Dengler, Kaiser, Ungeheuer, Sommer and Huber!
One of many sheets of paper – the circled number to the right of Gertrud’s name takes me to her parent information.
Wishing a Happy Birthday in Heaven to Louis J. Posluszny 1913-1983.
On February 14 in 1913, Julianna Ingram Posluszny gave birth to a second son – Louis Posluszny. At the time of his birth, they were living on Jefferson Street in Yonkers NY surrounded by other Posluszny families. When they made the move from New Britain to Wallingford in 1925 as I talked about in 121 Clifton Street, Louis was 12 years old.
He must have been bit by the same Outdoor/Farm/Garden bug as his mother, because the 1930 Federal Census lists him as an 18 year old boarder and general farm laborer for James and Mable Cook on what is listed as North Elm Street in Wallingford. A look at the town directory shows their farm on North Farms Road on the other side of Barnes Road in Wallingford. The 1933 Wallingford Town Directory lists him again as a farm hand but residing at 121 Clifton Street when he was 20 years old. It appears from this 1941 postcard after he was married that it was really something he loved.
On November 10, 1937 at Holy Trinity Church in Wallingford Louis married M. Irene Lefebvre (I have no record of what the M. stands for but it’s listed in the birth records). Lou left farming and went to work at the Wallingford Steel Company. They first lived at 132 East Street in Wallingford in 1939 and in 1940 lived at 24 East Street with Irene and their first child Judith. This 2-family home was originally owned by Caroline and Jon Bonk and when they died transferred to their son, Walter who was Konrad Posluszny’s half-brother.
He and Irene welcomed three more children – John (known as Jack), James and Loisanne to the family. They lived on the second floor at 604 Center Street with Irene’s parents, (Prime) Frank and Emily Lefebvre on the first floor. This house is currently occupied by Winterbourne Land Services, a land surveying and mapping company and is next door to Silver Pond apartments. I remember many happy family parties in the back yard that had a grape arbor and a stone fire place. I can picture the rooms upstairs clearly also!
Lou and Irene heading off on a cruise
Their children – Loisanne, Judy, Jack and Jim (front)
While his children were growing up, he and his brother in law Mal Bellafronto invested in property on Pickeral Lake in Colchester Connecticut. Lou and Irene were great friends with Judy (his younger sister by 4 years) and her husband Mal. They built cottages next door to each other with a large expanse of lake front for swimming and boating. The cottages were styled differently to accommodate different family sizes but they both were open and welcoming. Our family spent many Sunday afternoons there while growing up and were always given a week at one or the other cottage for a great family vacation.
Lou and my mother, Elizabeth, were brother and sister but just as there was a age gap between her and Tootsie, there was a 9 year gap between them and I don’t have any pictures or knowledge about their relationship. Their kids were my first cousins but Judy their first born was 21 when I was born and soon to be a mother of her own first child! My parents made a beautiful choice of godmothers for my sister and me – Irene was Gail’s and her daughter Judy was mine! Years later, when we needed her most, Judy at our side.
When Lou retired from the Steel Mill, he and Irene headed down to Florida to enjoy the warmth and sunshine and golf! They spend many happy years there living in the same area as Judy and Mal and welcomed their children and grandchildren on a regular basis. I don’t recall if they traveled up to Connecticut very often after that but when they did, I know we were happy to see them!
Lou and Irene
Lou, Irene and the grandkids
Lou passed away on August 21, 1983 from cancer. I remember it happened the day of my sister Janice’s wedding and because they didn’t want to upset her happy day, they didn’t call until after the reception was over.
When I think back to Uncle Lou now, I think of him as bear-like – sort of silly! – but he was sturdy and had very dark hair on his head and arms. I search his face in pictures for a resemblance to his parents and I see it.
Uncle Lou on left with his brother in law and good friend Mal Bellafronto
So Happy Birthday to you Uncle Lou! I hope you’re dancing up a storm in heaven with your beautiful Irene and sitting having a fine meal with your parents and siblings. Love you!
I know his children and grandchildren have many, many more memories of him than I could possibly have. Could you post them HERE in the comments so they will be in a place everyone stopping by can see them?
The home of Julia and Konrad Posluszny at 121 Clifton Street in Wallingford was the place to be. But how did they end up there? They both arrived in Yonkers NY to family – Konrad in 1902 and Julia in 1903. They were married and had 4 of their five children in Yonkers.
Sometime between the 1920 Census recorded in January and 1922 they moved to Easthampton Massachusetts which lies just west of the present day 91-North and south of Northhampton. I don’t know the reason but the only surviving family member, Aunt Judy, says she thinks it was to look for work. She also told me “Gram hated it so much she wouldn’t unpack and didn’t push him on finding a job!”
When that didn’t work out they moved to New Britain Connecticut where my mother, Elizabeth was born in April of 1922. They appear in the 1923 and 1924 New Britain City Directory as living at 15 Derby Street same residence as Joseph and Agnes Ingram (although some of us might recognize better the names of his son Lou and wife Felice aka the New Britain Ingrams). The 1925 directory shows them “removed to Wallingford”. Perhaps they decided to move to Wallingford because by 1914 John and Caroline and the rest of the family were living there.
Betty and Pauline Wirth in front; Katherine Wirth and Judy in back.
121 Clifton Street was a brand new house when they moved there. Aunt Judy says that Caroline and John Bonk loaned Konrad and Julia the $500 down payment needed for the house. It was a simple very square house – in the front downstairs were 2 living rooms separated by a cased opening. The left one took you to the staircase upstairs, the one on the right lead to the kitchen in the back of the house which would lead you into the dining room. There was a door from the kitchen to the back yard. Upstairs were four bedrooms and a bathroom in the front of the house between two of the rooms. Every room was fully furnished as long as I can remember.
Judy and Betty – Steel mill tracks behind them
Cecilia and Betty – behind them you can see all the way to South Cherry Street
There was a chicken coop and Grammy had gardens of vegetables and flowers. She had a very green thumb. There was a dirt floor basement that had a toilet there so (as I was told) she could use the bathroom without having to track through the house. One of our favorite parts of the house on Clifton Street was the set of train tracks which shot off from the tracks along Colony Street and ran along the side of house to the steel mill. Whenever we slept over a train would slowly rumble by.
From Clifton Street it was a short walk to the two family house on East Street where Caroline and John lived along with Walter Bonk. By the time they moved to Clifton Street, Caroline Bonk, Konrad’s mother, had been diagnosed with stomach cancer. Aunt Judy remembers going to their house with her mother (Julia) to take care of Caroline. I imagine my mother as a toddler would have been with them – or maybe she was home with Tootsie! Unfortunately Caroline passed away in March of 1925 but she’ll get her story told another time.
I’m sure the house was pretty crowded with five kids and two adults! But not for long…by the 1930 census Louis was listed as a farmhand for James and Mabel Cook on North Elm Street and in 1939 Judy married Malcolm Bellafronto. Mal Jr was born in 1942 and when “Big Mal” was off fighting in WWII, Judy and Mal moved home to Clifton Street.
Betty at Easter
Through the years, the house was the gathering place for holidays and Sunday dinners. We kids loved running around the yard, smashing up the red berries on the bushes in front of the house, walking on the train tracks, or creeping around the now decrepit chicken coop. The pictures I’ve collected of events taking place years ago – communions, confirmation, weddings – all have the familiar backdrop of the inside or outside of 121 Clifton Street.
John and Betty Jakiela 1952
Jakiela Girls Easter 1964
Aunt Tootsie sold the house in 1989 when she moved the Judd Square. It was bought by a family who’s daughter was the same age and went to school with Gail’s daughter Charlene and my son Cody! The lived there for quite a few years, it was sold again and maybe again. We found a listing for it online a few years ago and the homeowner had put a passthrough in the wall between the dining room and kitchen and I think cut through the wall to be able to reach the staircase from the dining room (correct me if that was always there!).
Judy (Posluszny) Behme, her mom my Aunt Irene, Aunt Judy, Aunt Tootsie (kneeling); back row: Bill Behme, Jim Posluszny (Judy’s brother), Uncle Ma, Catherine Wirth Blair, my dad John Jakiela. Day after Gail and Marty’s wedding 1985
Mal Bellafronto was in town a couple of years ago and we went to the house. It was in foreclosure and there had been a burst pipe and flood inside during very cold weather. Someone was working on the outside and the back deck that had been added was torn off and the exterior was in very bad shape. More recently it’s been sold and painted blue and looks nice from a distance.
I noticed in the pictures over the years the very large tree to the left and the wood steps and pillars turned to black wrought iron eventually painted to white. The garage in the last picture was added with Uncle Lester or Uncle Andy and it might have taken the place of an older shed and the chicken coop.
I don’t drive down the street very often but when I do, I drive by very slowly, looking for memories of the people who lived there.
121 Clifton St – 1989 – front
121 Clifton St – 1989 – back
Please – share your memories of 121 Clifton Street!
I was very lucky to be brought up in a family rich with Aunts and cousins old enough to be aunts. Probably the one who was the most prominent in our family’s lives was Aunt Tootsie.
Born Antoinette Gertrude Posluszny, Toots or Tootsie, was the first child born to Konrad Posluszny and Julianna Ingram on January 7, 1909 in Yonkers New York.
With a brother Conrad born in November of 1910, Lou born in 1913, Julia in 1917 and Elizabeth (my mother) in 1922, she left school after the 8th grade and got a job. Family says she was a maid at Choate School.
With the 13 year age difference between Tootsie and her youngest sister Betty, she became a second mother to her. They had a good relationship even with the age gap. In an old postcard from Atlantic City in May of 1943 Betty writes to Toots: “Having a swell time and wish you were here – And I mean it.” Another postcard from Betty to Toots says “Thanks for letting me have such a marvelous time. It was swell fun and I sure am happy.” They even took a train trip together in August of 1943 from Wallingford via New York and St. Louis to San Antonio Texas to visit their brother Connie who was in the Army.
When Grammy wasn’t able to buy something for Betty, she would tell Tootsie to get it for her. Aunt Judy said Tootsie and Grammy would window shop for dresses then go to the store and buy material, make a paper pattern and sew it up. She was always ready to teach any of us who showed an interest in her crafts.
Tootsie got a job at Wallace Silversmiths where she worked for many many years as an inspector in the Cutlery Department. I remember waiting at the curb on Friday evenings with my mom and sisters to pick her up to go grocery shopping. We’d go to Grand Union and then back to the house at 121 Clifton Street for dinner. Through her job at the silversmith we all have incredible collections of the silver bells they produced starting in the early 1970s and we all received silverware sets in our wedding presents.
Aunt Judy said Tootsie had one true love in her life. Unfortunately, he was not true to her and had a relationship with someone else who ended up getting pregnant. She met Lester Schmitt in the 1950s through their association with the Improved Order of Redmen and Degree of Pocahontas. He was from Torrington and at the time they were both taking care of their mothers. They continued this relationship for years until Lester’s mother passed away and then were married in November of 1960. Uncle Lester was a very nice man and I think they were very happy together. They lived with Grammy at the 121 Clifton Street house but unfortunately, Uncle Lester passed away in August of 1963.
Aunt Tootsie and Uncle Lester November 1960After Grammy passed away in 1967, Aunt Tootsie remained in the house and continued working at Wallace Silversmith. In 1977, she reconnected with a widower Andy Fritz. She and Lester used to hang out with Andy and his wife years before. They were married in November of 1978. They traveled alot and Andy enjoyed crocheting as much as she did! But like her marriage to Lester, it was very short. Andy died in August of 1981.
Aunt Tootsie continued to be active and loved to see her family.
Cody and Aunt Tootsie on their second meetingShe was as much an aunt to her great nieces and nephews of which she had many as she was to their parents. She was very independent, could paint and wallpaper a professional under the table and would do absolutely anything for anyone.
But she started slowing down and knew it was time to sell the house on Clifton Street that had been the family home since 1925. In 1989, she moved to one of the first completed apartments in Judd Square. Visiting her at the apartment was when I first started working on our family history. She had an incredible collection of pictures and she would tell me who the people were so I could make note of their names on the back. She lived there until she became unable to take care of herself and it was no longer safe. She moved to the Westfield Care and Rehab Center in Meriden where her care was supervised by her niece Judy Behme and later by her other niece Loisanne Thomas. She suffered from dementia but when anyone went to visit her, she would tell stories and more stories.
She celebrated her 100th birthday at the Westfield Care Center but sadly passed away the following September age 101-1/2 years old. We gathered for her funeral and shared stories of her.
I remember Aunt Tootsie as always being there for us – having us sleep over when our parents went out; helping us to crochet or knit; sharing the books to read in the house – sharing anything that was in the house actually!; and always being happy to have us around. How lucky we were to have such a wonderful example of what it means to be an aunt!
Please share your memories of Aunt Tootsie in the comments!
It's All About Family 