Posluszny – Page 7 – It's All About Family

The Season of Betty – About Betty Part 2

My previous post was about my mother, Betty, about her life growing up and how she lived. This one is about her and what I remember. Most of the time period I’m talking about here is from the early 60s through 1987 when she died.

My mother was casual. She didn’t have jobs where she had to wear business clothes. She didn’t wear jeans (I don’t think she ever had a pair?!), but she wore comfortable clothes. She wore dresses to church every week along with a hat until we didn’t have to wear them anymore. In our 20s, my dad would give us money to go Christmas shopping for clothes for her. I think we did a pretty good job! We would find pants and nice tops and sweaters. She always seemed happy to get them and wore them so I guess she did! I liked doing that.

My mother didn’t wear makeup. She probably had some 20-year-old stuff hanging around and I remember one time Janice put it on her when she was going out. That must be why I have no idea (or think I have no idea) how to put it on!

My mother was LOUD! When we were young and playing in the neighborhood, she would WHISTLE for us. Like dogs! And you could hear it from just about any area of the circle (picture houses in the middle and the street is a circle around them). So embarrassing.! And when she went to football or basketball games when we were in high school her yell was so loud! My sisters and I of course, now are probably just as loud as she was!

My mother was friendly. When she went to track meets, I remember kids sitting with her and talking and she was always friendly to them. In my teenage brain I’d be saying “ugh”, but looking back, she set that example for us. I think all three of us are very comfortable and interested in what young people have to say.

My mom was involved in our school working at book sales, as part of the Mothers Circle at church, as part of the Mother of Twins Club, and with our Brownie and Girl Scout troops. But she didn’t get involved with any sports politics or try to ingratiate herself with any coaches (ok, only cheerleading coach), and when I felt the need to defend myself or my sister she was fine with it.

My dad would take us on walks or bike rides on Sundays around town to give her some time alone. I’m sure she never had to suggest it, he was more than willing, but I’m sure she really appreciated it! I imagine we three were pretty exhausting.

SHE WAS A READER! I feel like that deserves all caps. She had more books and magazines than even I have ever had! There were 2 bookcases at her childhood home on Clifton Street full of books that I’m sure were all hers. She was a member of the Readers Digest Condensed Books program with 4 books a year and each contained 4-5 books. Nancy Drew, Cherry Ames, and other teenage girl book series were on those shelves! I think some might have been above our reading maturity level, but we read them anyway and she didn’t stop us! She subscribed to 3 or 4 magazines a month that were collected on the end tables through the year(s). She would buy years worth of National Geographic magazines at tag sales. She just loved the written word. I can clearly see her sitting at the table for breakfast with a book in her lap, drinking her coffee, and eating toast. There was never a book or magazine not by her side.

She and her siblings stayed close both in their physical locations and by gathering together. They all continued to live in Wallingford and raise their families and we always got together for Christmas, Easter, and kids’ birthday parties. I’m glad they did that. It could have gone a lot differently because of the age difference in all the kids, but with her niece (Judy) having her first child (Ann) only one year after us twins, it gave them all a new connection. She was particularly close to Aunt Tootsie who was like her second mother and Uncle Connie who was unmarried until the early 1960s when she married Auntie Ann who had 2 adult children and they lived right next to Kendrick Park so we so them very often stopping in for his delicious baked treats!

She was a good woman and a good mother and she lead by example rather than telling us what to do and how we should be as we grew up. I think that sticks more than words!

Together One Last Time?

Front: Connie with Jack Posluszny
Back: Elizabeth, Judy with Mal Bellafronto, Lou, Konrad, Antoinette, and Julia with Judy Posluszny — Poslusznys @1943

Judging from the ages of Mal, Jack, and Judy, this picture was taken sometime in 1943. Uncle Connie enlisted in November of 1942 and was working as a cook in an Army base in Texas. Elizabeth and Tootsie took a trip to visit him in August of 1943.

Knowing that Konrad died and how he died right after Christmas in 1944 makes these pictures a little more poignant.

This is another picture from the same day based on the clothing. I can’t help but notice the shapeless dress and hand-sewn hem! Gram had very long hair but it was always worn slicked back in a bun.

The Season of Betty – About Betty Part 1

Betty was born Elizabeth Ann Posluszny on April 5, 1922, in New Britain Connecticut where her family – mother, father, 2 brothers, and 2 sisters – lived in the 2-story house of her mother’s Ingram relative. She was five years younger than her next sibling and 13 years removed from her oldest sister Antoinette (Tootsie).

Her family had left Yonkers New York around 1921, lived briefly in East Hampton MA, and then moved on to New Britain where my grandfather worked as a hatter and also owned a hat shop – Conrad Hat Company at 317 Main Street. The family story is, that it burned down and he had no insurance. In 1925, they are all living at 121 Clifton Street in Wallingford which was “brand new” and where someone in the family lived until 1989. Conrad went to work at the steel mill after working in the hat industry his whole adult life.

Betty was a little bit spoiled but most information about her over the years came from her sister Judy who was the baby of the family until Betty came along! When the family moved to Wallingford her oldest sister didn’t move on to high school. She worked for people at Choate cleaning (not verifiable). If Betty wanted something and her mother couldn’t afford it, she would tell Tootsie to buy it for Betty. Both Gram and Tootsie were incredible seamstresses and could look at something in a store window, go home, and re-create it.

In high school, Betty bowled, played basketball, and was a drum major with the marching band. After graduating she went to Laurel School of Business Administration in Meriden and then went to work at one of the International Silver factory offices.

Because she was quite a bit younger than her siblings, they were getting married and having kids when she was still a teenager! Her older brother Lou and his wife Irene, had their first child, Judith, when Betty was 19. This is the same Judy who was such an incredible help to us before her diagnosis, during her illness, and when she died. Judy and Betty had a close relationship because of the time spent together when Judy was growing up. My sisters and I share a close relationship with Judy’s kids they are both smiling down on.

She traveled quite a bit based on the postcards she wrote and then took them back from family members she sent them to! She and her sister Tootsie took a trip to Texas in 1943 to visit their brother Connie while he was in the army. The following year, she and her friends traveled to California to visit her mother’s sister, Tante Lizzie, and Uncle Ben who lived in Los Angeles. There were also many trips to Atlantic City, Washington DC, and one trip to a ranch in New York to ride horses! Her photos from these trips were all put in albums and labeled with names and dates and are a wonderful look back at her life.

She also had a few boyfriends! She and her girlfriends were always in pictures with different guys, but I’m sure they were just friends! There was one though, Angelo Losi, that her sister Judy says my mom really thought she would marry. Another serious one was a young man in the army from Boone Iowa. Unfortunately, his mother died and he went home, never to return. But, as we know, everything happens for a reason!

While working in an office and bowling in a league, Betty became friendly with Helen Jakiela and Helen’s brother John would give them a ride home. Helen knew something was up when John started bringing her home first! I don’t know what year this was but I do know that they dated for a few years because Betty gave John an ultimatum of “either propose or move on!”. That was the nudge that John needed. They were engaged and got married on November 8, 1952.

Janice came along in September of 1958 and “the twins” Nancy and Gail in April of 1960. They bought the house I now live in on Atkinson Lane in May of 1961 with its 4 bedrooms sitting on almost a half acre of land with apple trees, a cherry tree, raspberry bushes, and more. A dream house for a family of five!

Betty was a full-time mom until we were in 4th and 6th grade. She was very involved with Mother’s Circle at Holy Trinity Church, Mother of Twins Club, and any bake sales or book clubs happening at school. She was the president of both organizations. When the church started its bazaar, she was always involved in running a booth and eventually was chairman of the whole thing!

She went back to work as an office manager for different small companies and helped my dad with the bookkeeping at the paint store. Her last job was working for our neighbor’s construction company. There were 2 brothers who built many of the developments in Wallingford. Her office would move at the start of every development to the first home built. She really enjoyed working for them and with the other employees and talking with their friends who would stop by the office. We remain good friends with them and their children whom we used to babysit!

Her last big adventure before she got sick, I told you about it in my first post was when she won a trip to Ireland on St. Patrick’s Day 1986. She and my dad flew there in August and spent a week on a bus tour and also on their own. They had a wonderful time and she brought us back wonderful gifts. I’m so glad they had that one final adventure to remember before everything happened.

So this was Betty’s life up to her illness. Next time will be about what made Betty – Betty.

The Season of Betty Part 1

I think I’ve always wanted to put this period of time in writing because it was a huge turning point in my life. It was the end of me and the beginning of me all rolled into one.

My mother, Betty, started acting oddly in the fall of 1986. She and my father took a trip to Ireland that she WON on St. Patrick’s Day that March through WELI radio. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was upstairs after taking a shower, hearing a shout and a crash, and immediately thinking “oh my God, they said her name!”. And yes, they did, and they hung up on her because she was so excited! The trip was great and they had a wonderful time together but shortly after that, she became more forgetful than usual.

By 1986, I was the only daughter living at home and my three-plus-year relationship had ended in October. Which was probably for the best with what lie ahead. December rolled around and I noticed she hadn’t done any Christmas shopping. She always shopped for all of us and would have stacks of presents on Christmas morning (sometimes wrapping until the early hours!). It took her out to the stores in Hamden and we shopped for everyone, including me!

The holiday went well and we all got together again that week because Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal were in town. I went to work in the morning and then headed over in the afternoon and Mom was home and was coming on her own. We waited, and waited. When we called, she said she was coming, she’d be there soon and we waited some more. When she finally came, she fell asleep on the couch head back in the crowd of people.

After the first of the year, things just got stranger. All my life, Sunday mornings we went to church for 9:15 mass. But suddenly, she’d still be sitting reading the paper at 9 am. We’d hustle her up to get ready and we’d barely make it. Another Sunday, it was Auntie Edna’s surprise birthday party at the Knight’s hall and we barely made it before the guest of honor!

I worked at Channel 8 in the Programming Department and I would come in every morning and laugh and say “oh my God you won’t believe what my mother did last night!”. Until one day I came in and said to my boss “I think there’s something wrong with my mother”, and burst into tears. Larry Manne, bless his soul, rolled with it, listened, and gave me a hug.

Shortly after that, Gail and I reached out to our cousin Judy Behme. Judy was our first cousin and my godmother and her kids were our age and she was someone we always knew we could turn to. I was at Judy’s house and we were on the phone with Gail trying to figure out what was going on. I think at one point an actual thought we all agreed on was “I hope it’s a brain tumor and not Alzheimer’s” because, with a tumor, there could be surgery and recovery! Little did we know….

Questions Answered?

Back in January (!) I wrote a couple of posts about my mother and grandmother and a previously unknown relative who had a higher DNA match to me than my first cousins. Even as I wrote those posts, I already knew the answer but I guess I just didn’t want to put it out to the universe.

The DNA (and that chart that says “with X amount of DNA this person is this or that”) doesn’t lie – Joanne, the mystery relative is my half-aunt!

While I realize it doesn’t have a significant effect on my life, it’s still a WHOA moment. First of all, after 60 years we are Posluszny in name only?! Second of all, there are two whole new lines of ancestors. Third? Medical history! I have to correct some paperwork in the next few months!

So there he is – Jacob Engram Jr (somewhere in the early 1900s the Ingram became Engram) – my (and my sister’s!) biological grandfather. He and my grandmother, Julia Ingram Posluszny (don’t know the exact lineage there yet!) had a relationship which resulted in my mother being born in 1922. The family moved from Yonkers NY in 1920 to Massachusetts, then to New Britain CT in 1921 where they lived in a 2 family house with Ingram relatives.

Did they move because of that relationship? My grandmother was 7 years older than Jacob – and married! Let’s say it took place in 1920 – my grandmother was 32 (and married!), and he was 25 and single.

But if there’s any doubt about it, I received pictures from my Aunt Joanne and here is one with her and her father –

And one of my mother –

More to come…

A Glimpse of the Past

My biggest complaint about research family is I don’t want to know just dates and places, I want to know what life was like! I want to know what they were doing and feeling! Alas, aside from what I learn from Michelle, my favorite medium, I will never know.

But! As I was googling around Google, I was led to these!

Images of America – Throggs Neck – Pelham Bay

I can’t wait to get them! I love the one we have of Wallingford and I search the pictures for familiar locations and how they looked in the past. Although I won’t have that familiarity with Yonkers and Pelham Bay, I will be looking at places were my family lived and worked. You all know Yonkers is where Julia and Konrad Posluszny as well as a majority of his family lived before they moved northward to Connecticut. The Pelham Bay book is for Joanne and the other Ingram family I mentioned a post or two ago. Her father and grandfather had farms in the Pelham Bay Area and the book description mentioned the farmland in the area. I’m excited to get a glimpse and imagine one or two of the pictures are of their farms.

I may not get their actual memories but I will try to imagine them as I look through the books.

Life (and DNA) is Full of Surprises

Julianna, Konrad and Antoinette Posluszny 1909

I’ve written a few posts about my grandmother Julianna Ingram Posluszny. Her story has always been somewhat mysterious. Family members say she came to the United States at a young age, younger than records stated, and she came alone. I have yet to find a record I can confirm as hers. Her marriage license lists her as 18 in 1906 when they got married and, the 1910 census says she immigrated in 1903 so 15 years old. You’ll see in my past posts I’ve really mulled over it!

In this last year, through DNA matches I uncovered a mystery which brought with it a whole host of new questions. Through my Aunt Tootsie’s Christmas card list came the name and email correspondence with a woman who was an Ingram relative. Cousin Judy Behme corresponded with her and after Judy’s death I inherited her ancestry paperwork and I picked up the correspondence. We knew we would be related through Ingram (obviously!) but how. Then Joanne’s children gave her an Ancestry DNA kit for Christmas 2018.

My first cousins Bob and Mal were DNA matches to me at 507 and 497 cMs approximately. I didn’t question why they were listed as Second Cousins because after all, they were the children of my mother’s sister. Some odd little quirk in the system, no big deal I thought.

I knew Joanne’s maternal family name (Duy) and had seen the name in records from the town my grandmother came from. What I didn’t understand was why I was seeing DNA matches to people associated with this last name. Weird, I thought! There must be some DNA running through the Ingram line as well!

Then, Joanne’s DNA match was processed and posted on the Ancestry website and oh my, we matched with 1,040 cMs!

The Search Continues

Most of you know I have been researching all sides of our family when Ancestry.com was a twinkle in the creators’ eye. It started with personal stories, microfilm at the library, town clerk records, funeral cards that were kept in dresser drawers (when hoarding is a good thing). God bless Aunt Tootsie for being the keeper of family photos and Judy Behme for working with me and for handing over these photos for preservation.

Ancestry.com with it’s public records all in one place, online family trees and the creation of DNA matches has been a gold mine (but sometimes a curse!). I have been able to work alongside cousin Cathy Bellafronto on the other side of the world to add members to the tree.

But even with new information available, Grammy Julianna Ingram Posluszny born February 19, 1888 continues to be a little bit of a mystery to us in the present day.

We know this for fact – she had 2 sisters in the United States. Mary (Marianna, Marya) born 1891 who later became Mary Wirth mother of cousin Katherine and cousin Pauline; and Elizabeth (Elzbieta) born 1894, and married to Ben Weiss (Uncle Ben and Tante Lizzie of Los Angeles). However, Grammy’s obituary mentions 4 sisters, with 2 of them in Poland along with a brother Walter also in Poland.

Recent website discoveries show me yes indeed, there are 4 sisters – Marianna, Elzbieta, Zofia (b. 1898) and Christine (b. 1901). However, there is no record of Walter, but there is Franciszek Jozef born in 1896! Well, there are 2 boys in the picture at the top. So now we have Julianna born 1888, Mariana in 1891, Elzbieta 1894, Franciszek 1896, Zofia 1898 and Christina 1901. And Walter. So there are a few more people – mother Gertruda and father Ludwick and someone else – in the picture but I think we have the siblings fleshed out now.

Which leads to another mystery. Family stories and a medium agree that Julianna was young when she came to the United States. Younger than stated in manifest records. But how young? One record that has been found by me and cousin Loisanne list a Julianna Ingram arrived in New York on June 19, 1896 from Bremen on the Bonn. Based on the year she would have been NINE YEARS OLD. Possible? Then is she even in the second picture?

Her marriage license to Konrad Posluszny in July of 1906 states she is 19 years old consistent with a 1887/1888 birth year. The 1910 census says she immigrated in 1900 and the 1920 census is a little hard to read but transcription also says 1900 which would make her a more reasonable 12(!). So where is her ship manifest record? Maybe they fudged her age but would they really send her off at nine years old and if so, why? Did she travel under a different name? Unfortunately the records online from Padew – actually living, breathing scanned copies of the records which force me to keep my Polish to English and Latin to English app open – only run from 1890 to 1899 so, no record of Julianna’s birth.

Maybe there was something going on? Reasons they felt she should leave? It wouldn’t be the first time that they lied about age. Marianna’s manifest record says she was 18 years old for her trip in 1907 when she was actually 16 years old.

So there it is — if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, comments – please share them! What I have discovered is my great great grandparents are Sebastian Ingram and Elizabetha Burghardt and Andreas Kahl and Catherine Jung.

Easter Through The Years

Remembering the traditions passed down through generations.

Easter memories include:

Church on Easter Sunday morning in our finest Spring clothes – usually freezing because it wasn’t quite as warm as the outfits were designed for!;

Jakiela girls easter 64 — Jakiela Girls Easter 1964

Easter baskets with candy!;
Brunch after mass either at 121 Clifton Street or our house, Aunt Judy’s or Auntie Irene’s that would be eaten in shifts as families came and went…and usually involved a second round of food;

Pierogies, stuffed cabbage, hungarian cookies, kielbasa, ham, horseradish, hard rolls, rye bread with seeds, babka – my mouth is watering!;

One Easter in the 1970s that was so warm and it was conveniently at Aunt Judy’s down the street that we came back to our house, got our bathing suits on and laid out in the sun!;
An Easter Sunday that fell on Gail’s and my birthday and we got to carry the gifts to the alter;
Our first Easter without Mommy and it was at the Behme’s house and Judy had a birthday cake for Gail and me because our birthday was a week or so later;
Celebrating Easter with Cody, coloring eggs and going to Easter egg hunts (and I wasn’t knocking kids down to get candy for him!);

Cody_easter_egg_hunt_0001 — Cody and Wyatt 1993

Easter at cousin Joan’s house with all the kids hunting for the Golden Egg and having the Easter Bunny appear!;

Easter_at_Joans_0001 — Easter at Joan Jakiela’s 1997

Our first Easter without Daddy after he passed away on Palm Sunday in 2010 and Gail’s description of him entering the gates of heaven and everyone cheering for his arrival;
The traditions we continue with our families and pass down to our children that we hope they will continue when we are no longer with them.

Burghardts and Ingrams and Straubs – oh my!

Early in the morning and during breaks from work and in the evening when I should be watching tv, I find myself standing in front of these books and papers.
When I should be sick and tired of sitting in front of a computer I plop down here sifting through “hints” and names on Ancestry.

There are some dead ends but many great finds. I finally broke down and subscribed to the World Explorer Membership which opened up a lot of records to me.

The biggest find was the Galizien German Descendants website. They’ve done incredible work compiling family information for Germans living in Galacia.

It led me to Julianna Ingram Posluszny’s parents, 2 younger sisters with their married names, and back in time to my 4th great grandmother!

On the Straub side – Caroline Straub Posluszny Bonk – it was a lucky break that I’ve been scribbling names for years because I found her parents Adam and Klara (Ingram) with her brother Albert on a list for Josefsdorf. That led me to Albert’s family listing and finally explained who Gertrud Straub, who’s buried in the plot next to Caroline Bonk at St Casimers Cemetery is – it’s her sister in law! Unfortunately Wildenthal, where the Posluszny family lived most of their lives is not part of the series. But I’m sure something will turn up!

In the meantime, some of the last names that have turned up are: Jung, Putz, Burckhard (as opposed to current day Burghardt), Karl (rather than Kahl), Dengler, Kaiser, Ungeheuer, Sommer and Huber!

One of many sheets of paper – the circled number to the right of Gertrud’s name takes me to her parent information.