December 2024 – It's All About Family

Symbols and Signs

The topic for week 38 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is Symbols. You can probably figure out that it’s actually Week 52 of 52 Weeks and so I’ll pick and choose the remainder of the topics to fit in with the topics for 2025. Anyway… Symbols!

I’ve written about the signs that my departed loved ones send me. My dad sends dimes and cardinals, and I find those dimes in the craziest places!

Earlier this year, the words in the New York Times Connections puzzle on two significant days told me my mother was wishing us continued happiness.

Last year, my father-in-law checked in, sending me my special number, 717.

Psychic mediums tell us to open our eyes and ears to the messages of love that surround us because the signs are there. Two books I really enjoyed on the subject are “Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe” and “The Light Between Us”, both by Laura Lynne Jackson.

The most recent sign came early Christmas morning, at 2:15 AM to be exact, when a little wind-up musical box began playing its tune, “Deck The Halls”. I found this in my in-laws’ home when we were cleaning out after my father-in-law passed away in 2022 and it has been sitting on a shelf in a bookcase outside our bedroom. It doesn’t play any music unless you wind it up on the back, and once it’s played out, it stops.

We both woke up with a start and I grabbed my phone, thinking it was ringing but I never have my ringer on! I leaped out of bed and only had to go a few feet to the source. How the heck did it start playing? It played so briefly, that I thought I had imagined it. 2:15 in the morning!!

It was another sign.

My husband’s biological father passed away on Christmas morning in 2005. We don’t know the exact time because it happened in Washington State and we live in Connecticut. We received a phone call that Christmas morning around 7am after we had finished opening presents.

Could it have been him? Because it was the anniversary of his death, both our minds went to him. I also remembered that he came through at the end of a recent reading I had with my wonderful psychic medium. He was in the background and we decided to keep him there. Maybe he just wanted to make sure we got the message that he was thinking of us. It would be just like him to use the method he did! So we laughed, went back to bed, and I moved the darn music box down to the first floor!

Signs from our loved ones are all around us. We just have to be willing to recognize them.

Final Resting Place

The theme for Week 37 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is – Tombstone.

In October of 1941, my great aunt, Stefania, wife of John Posluszny, my grandfather’s oldest brother, passed away. She was 56 years old. She left behind her husband, a daughter Martha 35, and a son Stanley, 22. I found this information on Find a Grave because a gracious volunteer uploaded the information from the cemetery – Holy Sepulchre in East Orange, New Jersey.

In the early 2000s, when I received ancestry material from my cousin Judy, there was a funeral card for my great-uncle John Posluszny.

*Funeral card information for John Posluszny*

The translation reads:

Jan (John) Posluszny
at the age of 61
He died on February 1, 1942
the funeral took place
on February 5, 1942
Corpses(?) placed in the cemetery
Rose Hill, Linden, NJ
He asks for a Hail Mary and eternal rest for the peace of his soul
Funeral Home Souvenir – W.A. Ruckiego

From this card, I requested a copy of his death certificate from the New Jersey state archives, but they had no record of it. The only death information available was his record in Find a Grave and I read that he was buried in Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in East Orange, and not in Rose Hill in Linden. Hmmmm.

Somewhere around 2006, I spoke to my mother’s cousin Ann Bonk Monroe (she passed away in 2011), and I must have asked her about this. My notes from our conversation say she told me that all she remembered about his death and funeral was hearing her family talk about how the wife wanted him cremated and the family was very opposed to it. Ann would have been 16 years old at the time. Since Stefania died before him, it must have been his daughter Martha who scheduled a cremation, but why a cremation?

Shortly after, I sent an email to Rose Hill and corresponded with Jim. He told me he was unable to find John or Jan Post, he wrote, “However here is some information that I did find about the service. I pulled the original diary from that year and found that there was a cremation scheduled for John Posluszny at 11:00 on 2/5/42 but it was cancelled. The funeral home was Rucki Funeral Home. I do not know the reason other than it was cancelled. I checked to see if (it) may have been rescheduled later, but I couldn’t find it.” Hmmm.

As this was going on, I had a DNA match with someone named Janine Posluszny. I emailed her in 2012 and it wasn’t until 2018 that I received a response from her. Her father was Stanley Posluszny, John and Stefania’s son! She grew up in Arizona and said “My father hated the cold. If I remember correctly his father died in a snowy road car accident???” That was new information for me!

This search for information on John Posluszny’s death may have started 20 years ago, but with these people, I just can’t quit. Saturday, I started looking for obituaries for John and Stefania. I am still surprised that Ancestry hasn’t revealed them to me. I checked Newspapers(dot)com, nothing, nothing, nothing. I checked Google newspaper archives, but there were no New Jersey papers for Newark.

So crap shoot, I google Newark newspapers and find the ONLINE newspaper archives in the Newark Public Library!

Enter in names and dates and violà! First up is the death notice for Stefania his wife in the Newark Evening News on October 31, 1941.

*Death notice 10/31/1941 Newark Evening News*

Next up was searching for John which didn’t take long.

*John Posluszny’s death notice 2/3/1942*

I was struck by the word “Suddenly”. I thought if it was a car accident like Janine said, there might be an article about it. I found the paper for February 2nd and started at the beginning of the newspaper. A few pages in I caught the words “Auto Accidents”.

*Details of accident that killed John Posluszny* – *he also went by the name of “John Post”*

Such a tragedy! Never get out of your car!

I think the reason he was going to be cremated was, Stefania had died only 3 months before the accident. Martha who was married, but soon to be divorced, was now responsible for her father’s funeral and burial and maybe the expense was too much for her to take on and the cremation was the cost-effective option.

I emailed a request through Find a Grave for a volunteer to take pictures of Stefania and John’s grave sites and hopefully someone will have some spare time to do that.

This new found information has answered the questions I had about John’s death and burial. Hopefully soon I will have a picture of his – Tombstone.

Mental Health

The topic for Week 36 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is “We Don’t Talk About It”.

My grandfather, Konrad Posluszny, committed suicide in the early morning of December 28, 1944. He was a night janitor at the Wallingford Steel Mill, where he had access to the offices and storerooms and that is where he got the gun he used. It was written up in the afternoon Meriden Daily Journal on the 28th, and then the next day, the morning paper, the Meriden Record, had a much more dramatic telling of the tragedy.

Years after it happened, my Aunt Tootsie told me “a gypsy told my father he was going to die by a gun and so he didn’t allow them in our home”.

As the second article mentions, he might have been “brooding over the dangers that might befall his son” my Uncle Connie who was assigned to duty in New Guinea. My uncle was a cook in the Army but I never found any records for him in the Fold3 website. My Aunt Judy did talk about him having to “pack up the kitchen” when they were being relocated.

*Julianna (Gram), Connie, Konrad (Gramp*) *1943 or 1944*

Would he have committed suicide because he was worried about his son? Not likely, unless there were mental health issues to begin with.

Which brings me to something else my Aunt Tootsie told me in one of our conversations. She said “when he was in the hospital”, the doctor allowed him to have beer because “he needed it”. Crazy right? It makes me think he was maybe in a hospital for mental health issues. This post from conversations with my Aunt Judy and my cousin Judy, talks about my grandfather and grandmother relationship.

*Konrad with his daughter Julia in 1937*

Another piece of the puzzle comes from my first experience with a medium in 2013. I realize a lot of people don’t believe in mediums or what they say, but hey, my grandfather believed what the Gypsy said! This medium said my grandfather committed suicide, was there with my mother, he later mentioned the gun shot and the depression he suffered from all his life. If you’re interested you can go to YouTube, search for CT Buzz and the look for Medium and Life Guide Phil Quinn. It’s 7:40 long and you might recognize a younger me in the screenshot. During either this reading or another, Phil told me that my grandfather suffered from profound depression and he didn’t have a joyful day in his life.

That makes me think about how he started out as a hatter, ended up with a hat company of his own, he had a patent for a cleaning solution for straw hats, but died as a janitor at a steel mill. I told the story about the family profession here. I feel such sadness for him to have had so much and then nothing. Was it because of this depression that caused my aunt to say her mother had more balls than her father?

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only person in the family suffering from mental illness…

My great-uncle Frank Posluszny, spent at least 10 years in the Essex County Hospital (for the Insane) in Cedar Grove, New Jersey. The 1910 and 1920 censuses, show his occupation as a Hatter. However, by the April 27, 1930 census, he was an inmate at the hospital and was there again in the 1940 census. A section in this census asks if this is the same residence as 1935, and the response for Frank is “same residence”. I have not been able to find any death record for Frank but it might be safe to say he spent the rest of his years at the county hospital. He and his wife had three children.

Frank and Josephine Posluszny wedding photo. Brother Charles back left, step father Jon Bonk, back third from left, mother Caroline seated left, sister Mary seated right — *Frank and Josephine’s wedding photo. His brother Charles is top left, stepfather Jon 3rd from left, mother Caroline seated left, and sister Mary seated right*

My great-aunt Elizabeth Posluszny Laçz, left her husband and two children behind and disappeared in 1923 or 1924. Her sister Mary, hired a private detective but he never found her. She came up in a medium reading I had years ago and I was told she had a complete breakdown and created an entirely new life. I have never found records of her or her children but I wonder if there is a trace of them among any of my DNA matches.

The Posluszny Family. Elizabeth is bottom right, next to her mother. She is approximately 9 years old. — *Posluszny family photo – Frank 2nd from left in back, Konrad back far right, Elizabeth front right seated*

I never had a conversation with my mother about the death of her father. She was 22 when it happened and I can’t imagine how they felt getting that knock on their door that morning. All I knew as I was growing up was that he died a long time ago.

Today we are all better educated about mental health and we are able to express how we are feeling either to each other or a therapist. A little part of me knows that the DNA we got from our dad’s side of the family evened us all out!

Pearl Harbor Anniversary

I sadly didn’t remember the anniversary of Pearl Harbor until I was heading to bed last night.

I wanted to re-share the story of my Uncle, Walter Jakiela and his experience at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. He was 19 years old and 3 weeks out of radio school.

https://nancyb422.com/2024/03/06/living-through-the-day-of-infamy/