Author: nancyb422

I am a collector of family history - pictures, stories, facts - whatever I can get my hands on. I share that at It's All About Family. I started Thoughts From the Passenger Seat because I have a lot on my mind! It started riding on the back of my husband's motorcycle and on business appointments but I don't do much of either anymore but the thoughts are still there. I enjoy writing and I hope you find something that you connect with on either of my blogs. Thoughtsfromthepassengerseat.blog - Thoughts From the Passenger Seat NancyB422.com - It’s All About Family

The Season of Betty Part 1

I think I’ve always wanted to put this period of time in writing because it was a huge turning point in my life. It was the end of me and the beginning of me all rolled into one.

My mother, Betty, started acting oddly in the fall of 1986. She and my father took a trip to Ireland that she WON on St. Patrick’s Day that March through WELI radio. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was upstairs after taking a shower, hearing a shout and a crash, and immediately thinking “oh my God, they said her name!”. And yes, they did, and they hung up on her because she was so excited! The trip was great and they had a wonderful time together but shortly after that, she became more forgetful than usual.

By 1986, I was the only daughter living at home and my three-plus-year relationship had ended in October. Which was probably for the best with what lie ahead. December rolled around and I noticed she hadn’t done any Christmas shopping. She always shopped for all of us and would have stacks of presents on Christmas morning (sometimes wrapping until the early hours!). It took her out to the stores in Hamden and we shopped for everyone, including me!

The holiday went well and we all got together again that week because Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal were in town. I went to work in the morning and then headed over in the afternoon and Mom was home and was coming on her own. We waited, and waited. When we called, she said she was coming, she’d be there soon and we waited some more. When she finally came, she fell asleep on the couch head back in the crowd of people.

After the first of the year, things just got stranger. All my life, Sunday mornings we went to church for 9:15 mass. But suddenly, she’d still be sitting reading the paper at 9 am. We’d hustle her up to get ready and we’d barely make it. Another Sunday, it was Auntie Edna’s surprise birthday party at the Knight’s hall and we barely made it before the guest of honor!

I worked at Channel 8 in the Programming Department and I would come in every morning and laugh and say “oh my God you won’t believe what my mother did last night!”. Until one day I came in and said to my boss “I think there’s something wrong with my mother”, and burst into tears. Larry Manne, bless his soul, rolled with it, listened, and gave me a hug.

Shortly after that, Gail and I reached out to our cousin Judy Behme. Judy was our first cousin and my godmother and her kids were our age and she was someone we always knew we could turn to. I was at Judy’s house and we were on the phone with Gail trying to figure out what was going on. I think at one point an actual thought we all agreed on was “I hope it’s a brain tumor and not Alzheimer’s” because, with a tumor, there could be surgery and recovery! Little did we know….

Mystery Solved!

FACEBOOK – March 22, 2014

I’m sucked back into my family search on Ancestry.com

Poor great-uncle Bronislaw Liro and his wife Mary. They became a reality last night when their marriage record popped up – but nothing else.

Then a quick google search of his name gave me two deaths – one for their son at 8 days old of infant cholera, and another for their daughter at 8 months old (4 years later) of Infant Cholera.

And not a trace of them anywhere else going forward. It’s always 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

This post written in 2014 popped up for me the other day on Facebook. I’d forgotten all about it posting it and want to share what I found out a few years later.

Just some background – I had the names of Louis, Joseph, and Mitchell Liro floating around in my research notebooks because their Massachusetts locations fit with what I knew about Bronislaw. I might have sent a letter to one of them with no response.

“Joseph Liro” popped up as a DNA match in 2017 and I sent him a message through Ancestry. Sadly, not many people respond to messages! But I got lucky this time.

Joseph is the grandson of Bronislaw and Maria! Here’s a refresher on Bronislaw and Maria:

Bronislaw was born in 1881 and immigrated to the US in 1905, and headed to Three Rivers, Mass his older sister Aniela and her husband Josef Mikula.

Maria came to the US expecting to be joined by her sweetheart but she never heard from him, met Bronislaw and married him. Then oops! Turns out the sweetheart had trouble raising the money for his passage and when he finally made it to the U.S. Maria was already married to Bronislaw.

They were married sometime prior to 1908. They had a son John who died at 6 days old in August of 1908 of Infant Cholera. Joseph’s father Louis was born in 1909. A daughter Katy in 1911 was 6 months old in July of 1912 when she died of Infant Cholera. Following that, Mitchell Stanley was born in 1913.

So right there, Joseph brought together the names that have been circling around each other all these years!

Two to three years later (1915 or 16), Bronislaw and Maria (unlike my grandparents and great aunt and uncle) have a little nest egg from working in the textile mills and decide to GO BACK TO POLAND.

We all know what happened shortly after that – World War I broke out. Bronislaw fought in the Austrian Army and the “victorious Soviets” took him prisoner and sent him to Siberia.

As the war raged on, Maria was afraid that her sons, Louis and Mitchell would be called up to fight in the Polish Civil War even though they were American citizens, so she sent them back to the United States to live with a friend of hers.

In the late 1920s/early 1930s, Bronislaw escaped Siberia where he tended the horses at the camp. He appeared at the family farm in the village of Turza in southeastern Poland saying “I escaped and have come home”. Life went on and they had more children.

What happened to Louis and Mitchell? It sounds like Louis never saw his father again because he never went back to Poland. Mitchell fought in Italy during WWII and traveled through Poland but I don’t know if Bronislaw was still alive or if he went to their home.

After WWII, Maria came to the United States for a short visit, lived with Louis and his family but she returned to Poland in 1962 “to die”. Louis traveled to Poland often in the 80s and 90s and met his Aunt Katarzyna and her children and visited his grandparents’ graves.

Based on their birthdates and the dates of WWI, Louis and Mitchell would have been young when the war broke out! Louis said, “my father and his brother were so grateful to this woman (who took them in) that they had her buried in our family plot in Indian Orchard, Mass. which is a neighborhood in Springfield. I think it’s sort of a Yalesville to our Wallingford.

So that’s the story of Bronislaw and Maria. They all lived years longer than Aniela and Antonia but it was still fraught with heartache.

Who Was Jacob Engram Jr.?

So now that DNA revealed a new paternal biological grandfather for me and my sisters, who was he?! But first, let’s get the Ingram / Engram out of the way. I don’t know what the deal is with that! The 1910 Census lists them as Drumgram because of the census taker’s handwriting. Five years later in the New York State census, they are listed as Engram. I prefer INGRAM but will probably use them both. Without further adieu, here’s what I know –

He was the third born of Jacob Ingram (b. about 1861) and Katherine Duy (b. 8 Aug. 1865). The children were was Theresia (1894), Louis (1894 – died 22 April 1900), Jacob (11 July 1895), Katherine (2 Mar 1998), Elizabeth (abt. 1900), Louise (abt. 1920), and Hannah-who changed her name to Joan (about 1907).

His father was a gardener/farmer. In 1910, he (father), was listed as a gardener on a farm and self-employed. They lived in the Bronx in the area of Wickham Avenue/Astor Estate. Jacob was 14 years old.

In 1915, they are all in the area of Pelham Parkway in the Bronx and Jacob Jr was 19 years old and also farming.

On October 27, 1916, his mother Katherine died at the age of 51. I have not dived into the NY state records to see if I can find an actual death certificate for her but my newly realized half-aunt was told influenza.

Jacob Ingram, Jr., abt. 1918 before going overseas during WWI

Jacob Jr was inducted into the US Army on April 1, 1918 and was overseas from July 18, 1918 until July 13, 1919, and discharged on the 23rd of July 1919. He was with the Company C 312nd infantry and more on that at another time.

We know from census records and city directories that Julianna Ingram and Konrad Posluszny lived in Yonkers NY with their four children. Aunt Judy Bellafronto told me in one of our phone interviews, that she remembers her parents helping out at her “Uncle Jack’s farm” in the Bronx. I think she was referring to the elder Jacob because she also said that her mother kept her Christmas tree up until until “her cousin” came home from the war.

A quick count on my fingers shows that if my mother was born in April of 1922, Julianna and Jacob’s relationship possibly began after he came home from the war. Was it a one time thing? A mad love affair? We’ll never know….

Julianna Ingram, Konrad Posluszny, and Antoinette picture about mid-late 1909

But we know this…. The Poslusznys were still in Yonkers for the 1920 Census (January) and Konrad is listed in the 1921 Yonkers city directory as a hatter, but another Aunt Judy story was they moved to Massachusetts. Aunt Judy said her mother hated it so much she didn’t want to unpack any boxes. Next thing we know, my mother Elizabeth is born on April 5, 1922 in New Britain where they are living at 15 Derby Street in a 2 story home of another Ingram cousin! Konrad is a hatter at 43-45 Broad Street in New Britain during 1923 and owns the Konrad Hat Company at 317 Main Street New Britain in 1924. By 1925 they have “removed to” Wallingford to their brand new home at 121 Clifton Street.

Did the relationship have something to do with the move out of Yonkers? We’ll never know.

Coming up — more information on Jacob Engram Jr, his family, and future family.

Questions Answered?

Back in January (!) I wrote a couple of posts about my mother and grandmother and a previously unknown relative who had a higher DNA match to me than my first cousins. Even as I wrote those posts, I already knew the answer but I guess I just didn’t want to put it out to the universe.

The DNA (and that chart that says “with X amount of DNA this person is this or that”) doesn’t lie – Joanne, the mystery relative is my half-aunt!

While I realize it doesn’t have a significant effect on my life, it’s still a WHOA moment. First of all, after 60 years we are Posluszny in name only?! Second of all, there are two whole new lines of ancestors. Third? Medical history! I have to correct some paperwork in the next few months!

So there he is – Jacob Engram Jr (somewhere in the early 1900s the Ingram became Engram) – my (and my sister’s!) biological grandfather. He and my grandmother, Julia Ingram Posluszny (don’t know the exact lineage there yet!) had a relationship which resulted in my mother being born in 1922. The family moved from Yonkers NY in 1920 to Massachusetts, then to New Britain CT in 1921 where they lived in a 2 family house with Ingram relatives.

Did they move because of that relationship? My grandmother was 7 years older than Jacob – and married! Let’s say it took place in 1920 – my grandmother was 32 (and married!), and he was 25 and single.

But if there’s any doubt about it, I received pictures from my Aunt Joanne and here is one with her and her father –

And one of my mother –

More to come…

A Glimpse of the Past

My biggest complaint about research family is I don’t want to know just dates and places, I want to know what life was like! I want to know what they were doing and feeling! Alas, aside from what I learn from Michelle, my favorite medium, I will never know.

But! As I was googling around Google, I was led to these!

Images of America – Throggs Neck – Pelham Bay

I can’t wait to get them! I love the one we have of Wallingford and I search the pictures for familiar locations and how they looked in the past. Although I won’t have that familiarity with Yonkers and Pelham Bay, I will be looking at places were my family lived and worked. You all know Yonkers is where Julia and Konrad Posluszny as well as a majority of his family lived before they moved northward to Connecticut. The Pelham Bay book is for Joanne and the other Ingram family I mentioned a post or two ago. Her father and grandfather had farms in the Pelham Bay Area and the book description mentioned the farmland in the area. I’m excited to get a glimpse and imagine one or two of the pictures are of their farms.

I may not get their actual memories but I will try to imagine them as I look through the books.

Family Helping Family

Imagine being a teenager and leaving your family with the possibility of never seeing them again. That’s what it was like for my grandmother Julianna Ingram, her sisters, and cousins. This is a story about being there for each other.

Julianna aka Julia aka Grammy, came to the United States in (census says) 1903. She would have been 16. She did not arrive with family to greet her. It wasn’t until 1908 that her sister Mary (Wirth-mother of Pauline and Katherine) joined her and 1912 when Elizabeth (Tante Lizzie) followed. Julia lived on her own, probably worked as a domestic, met Konrad Posluszny and married him in 1906 without family by her side.

Julia’s father, Ludwig, had 8 brothers and sisters. His sister Catherine married Franciszek Kukulska and they had three children. The oldest, Mary, was born in 1892 and came to the United States in 1908 at 16 years old. One year later she was getting married to John Juszczak and immediately became pregnant. Their marriage license shows Julia was a witness to their ceremony. By this time Julia had one child and another on the way and the first cousins lived a few blocks away from each other on Jefferson Street in Yonkers NY.

In May of 1910, Mary died giving birth to her daughter who was given the name Mary. Her husband John was a laborer in a sugar refinery and was unable to take care of the infant. He asked Julia to take the baby in and he would pay her for her care and of course, she did!

Four years later, John died in an accident at the sugar refinery. By this time Julia had 3 children of her own under the age of 5 and money was tight. She had no other option but to give Mary up for adoption. Fortunately, a couple heard of the situation through their church and adopted her. She never had to spend any time at an orphanage.

DNA testing on Ancestry led me to Mary’s daughter, Sandi. She told me that her mother’s adopted parents were lovely people. Their daughter died from diphtheria in 1914. They were good, hardworking German Methodists. Her mother knew she had been adopted but never wanted Sandi to find her family while she was alive. Sandi found the adoption documents while cleaning out her grandmother’s home in Florida after she passed away. Without those papers, we may never have figured out our connection.

I love thinking about how Grammy was by her cousin’s side when she got married and then was there for her daughter after she died. It was unfortunate that she had to give her up but she went from one family who loved her to another who was able to care for her better. The more I learn of Julianna Ingram, the more I love the thought that she runs through our veins.

A Piece of the Puzzle

Elizabeth Ann Posluszny, my mother, was born in April of 1922. Her mother, Juliana Ingram, was 34 and her father, Konrad Posluszny was 36 years old.

Betty, as she was known, was the youngest of five. Aunt Tootsie (Antoinette) was the oldest, born in 1909. Uncle Connie in 1910, Uncle Lou in 1913 and Aunt Judy in 1917.

Everyone was born in Yonkers, New York except Betty. After the 1920 census the family moved to Easthampton Massachusetts. According to Aunt Judy, her mother was so unhappy living there that “she didn’t even encourage my father to find a job” and “she didn’t unpack any boxes”. Next we know, Betty’s born in New Britain Connecticut and the family is living in an apartment owned by an Ingram cousin and by 1925 they bought 121 Clifton Street in Wallingford.

Betty grew up in Wallingford and had whatever she wanted. If her mother couldn’t afford it, her oldest sister Tootsie who left school after 8th grade would buy it for her. She took dance lessons, played basketball and was a majorette with the high school band. She wasn’t as craft oriented as her sisters – she didn’t knit or crochet or do needlework, or sew; but she had her mother and sisters for that! She loved to read and collected postcards buying blank ones on her trips or keeping ones that arrived at the house.

Betty traveled a lot after high school. She and Tootsie took a train trip to Texas to visit Connie in the army after Betty graduated from high school in 1940. Betty and her cousin Pauline traveled by train to California to visit their Tanta Lizzie and Uncle Ben (Weiss) and see the sights of Los Angeles. Her collection of postcards sent to her family tell of her travels and the fun she had.

My DNA mystery match, Joanne, was born in 1945 and in our earlier emails she said she had been to Wallingford in the past with her parents. She was around 7 years old and went to the wedding of “an older couple”. They missed the ceremony but made it to the reception and she remembered “stepping down into the hall”. It was my parents wedding and the reception was at the old Moose Club on Long Hill Road. How strange I thought that they would be there as we never had any communication with them that I knew of. I wondered what else she would remember of our family or if there had ever been any other trips to Wallingford!

Life (and DNA) is Full of Surprises

Julianna, Konrad and Antoinette Posluszny 1909

I’ve written a few posts about my grandmother Julianna Ingram Posluszny. Her story has always been somewhat mysterious. Family members say she came to the United States at a young age, younger than records stated, and she came alone. I have yet to find a record I can confirm as hers. Her marriage license lists her as 18 in 1906 when they got married and, the 1910 census says she immigrated in 1903 so 15 years old. You’ll see in my past posts I’ve really mulled over it!

In this last year, through DNA matches I uncovered a mystery which brought with it a whole host of new questions. Through my Aunt Tootsie’s Christmas card list came the name and email correspondence with a woman who was an Ingram relative. Cousin Judy Behme corresponded with her and after Judy’s death I inherited her ancestry paperwork and I picked up the correspondence. We knew we would be related through Ingram (obviously!) but how. Then Joanne’s children gave her an Ancestry DNA kit for Christmas 2018.

My first cousins Bob and Mal were DNA matches to me at 507 and 497 cMs approximately. I didn’t question why they were listed as Second Cousins because after all, they were the children of my mother’s sister. Some odd little quirk in the system, no big deal I thought.

I knew Joanne’s maternal family name (Duy) and had seen the name in records from the town my grandmother came from. What I didn’t understand was why I was seeing DNA matches to people associated with this last name. Weird, I thought! There must be some DNA running through the Ingram line as well!

Then, Joanne’s DNA match was processed and posted on the Ancestry website and oh my, we matched with 1,040 cMs!

The Search Continues

Most of you know I have been researching all sides of our family when Ancestry.com was a twinkle in the creators’ eye. It started with personal stories, microfilm at the library, town clerk records, funeral cards that were kept in dresser drawers (when hoarding is a good thing). God bless Aunt Tootsie for being the keeper of family photos and Judy Behme for working with me and for handing over these photos for preservation.

Ancestry.com with it’s public records all in one place, online family trees and the creation of DNA matches has been a gold mine (but sometimes a curse!). I have been able to work alongside cousin Cathy Bellafronto on the other side of the world to add members to the tree.

But even with new information available, Grammy Julianna Ingram Posluszny born February 19, 1888 continues to be a little bit of a mystery to us in the present day.

We know this for fact – she had 2 sisters in the United States. Mary (Marianna, Marya) born 1891 who later became Mary Wirth mother of cousin Katherine and cousin Pauline; and Elizabeth (Elzbieta) born 1894, and married to Ben Weiss (Uncle Ben and Tante Lizzie of Los Angeles). However, Grammy’s obituary mentions 4 sisters, with 2 of them in Poland along with a brother Walter also in Poland.

Recent website discoveries show me yes indeed, there are 4 sisters – Marianna, Elzbieta, Zofia (b. 1898) and Christine (b. 1901). However, there is no record of Walter, but there is Franciszek Jozef born in 1896! Well, there are 2 boys in the picture at the top. So now we have Julianna born 1888, Mariana in 1891, Elzbieta 1894, Franciszek 1896, Zofia 1898 and Christina 1901. And Walter. So there are a few more people – mother Gertruda and father Ludwick and someone else – in the picture but I think we have the siblings fleshed out now.

Which leads to another mystery. Family stories and a medium agree that Julianna was young when she came to the United States. Younger than stated in manifest records. But how young? One record that has been found by me and cousin Loisanne list a Julianna Ingram arrived in New York on June 19, 1896 from Bremen on the Bonn. Based on the year she would have been NINE YEARS OLD. Possible? Then is she even in the second picture?

Her marriage license to Konrad Posluszny in July of 1906 states she is 19 years old consistent with a 1887/1888 birth year. The 1910 census says she immigrated in 1900 and the 1920 census is a little hard to read but transcription also says 1900 which would make her a more reasonable 12(!). So where is her ship manifest record? Maybe they fudged her age but would they really send her off at nine years old and if so, why? Did she travel under a different name? Unfortunately the records online from Padew – actually living, breathing scanned copies of the records which force me to keep my Polish to English and Latin to English app open – only run from 1890 to 1899 so, no record of Julianna’s birth.

Maybe there was something going on? Reasons they felt she should leave? It wouldn’t be the first time that they lied about age. Marianna’s manifest record says she was 18 years old for her trip in 1907 when she was actually 16 years old.

So there it is — if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, comments – please share them! What I have discovered is my great great grandparents are Sebastian Ingram and Elizabetha Burghardt and Andreas Kahl and Catherine Jung.

Leap of Faith

This Columbus Day weekend marks THIRTY years (that’s right 3-0!) since I waved goodbye to my father and twin sister at Bradley Airport in Hartford and flew to my new home with my newly fianced fiance in California.

Nancy and Rocky Jamaica 1987

I knew that my family was only a long day on a plane ride away if I every wanted to visit – and we did, making sure we alternated visits back and forth until we moved back to Connecticut in 1995 (at which point my husband and son were making that journey of leaving the only home they every knew!)

Which made me start thinking – and how I manage to tie this into being All About Family…

How many of our grandparents….great grandparents….great aunts and uncles made that journey to a new home, by themselves with little to their name except a suitcase and a small amount of money in their pocket? Many of them left knowing they would never see their family members again.

Charles Jakiela – Age 17 – to New York from Lubatowa Galacia – November 1906 – heading to uncle in “South Hingtown” CT

Antonia Liro (Jakiela) -age 21 to New York from Wielepole, Galacia – September 1910 – heading to sister in Thorndike MA

Konrad Posluszny – age 16 to New York from Wildenthal, Galacia – December 1905 – heading to his brother John in Yonkers NY (and brother John arrived in 1899 based on the 1910 census)

Julianna Ingram (Posluszny) – age 16 to New York from Padew Galacia – 1903 – heading to we are not really sure where because the only Julianna Ingram record we can find is way off age wise. The 1910 census though says she arrived in 1903.

Caroline Straub Posluszny Bonk – age 50 – to New York from Wildenthal Galacia in 1907 with her second husband and two children aged 10 and 3 – heading to her son John in Yonkers NY

We know that it was not easy for them to leave, or easy for them once they got there but with the blessing of their families, they did it….and so did we. ❤

Nancy and Rocky Bay of Fundy 2017