mothers – It's All About Family

Engram Family Part 2

I told you the story of the Ingram/Engram family beginning with Jacob Sr and his wife Katherine Duy until her death in 1916. She left behind her husband and five children ages 22 through 10. Part 2 covers the family through the 1930s.

Jacob Jr. and World War I

In between 1916 and 1920, Jacob Jr., 22 years old, registered for the armed services in June of 1917. He began his military service on April 1, 1918 with Company C of the 312th Infantry, part of the 78th Division. This was a unit known as the “Black Cat Division” which participated in combat during the final weeks of the war in November 1918 engaging in the offensive known as the Pursuit Toward Sedan (Google AI). They shipped out of Brooklyn New York on May 20, 1918 on the Port Melbourne. However, Jacob was NOT on that ship. The passenger list indicates that he and 4 other soldiers were AWOL and 4 others were in the base hospital.

*Jacob prior to shipping out to France 1918*

He was then attached to the 153rd Infantry Regiment which was activated for the war as part of the 39th Division. The soldiers in this regiment were used as replacements for soldiers in other units. These units were known as “Depot Brigades” and were established to receive, equip, and train new recruits for service before they were sent to the front lines. This lasted from May 19th through July 13th when he was transferred to Company I of the 49th Infantry and he shipped out of Brooklyn NY on the Regina D’Italia on July 18, 1918.

The primary purpose of 49th Infantry Regiment was to provide replacement troops for front-line combat units.

I don’t know whether Jacob endured any front line action while in France but it’s interesting to me that both he and my paternal grandfather, Charles Jakiela, both served in France in waning months of World War I.

He sailed home on the Imperator, a German ocean liner that had been seized after Germany’s surrender and used as a troop transport ship over three voyages returning over 25,000 troops, nurses and civilians to the United States. They landed in Hoboken New Jersey on July 13, 1919 and from there he traveled to Camp Merritt in New Jersey for his Honorable Discharge on July 23, 1919.

I’ve shared the family story, confirmed by my Aunt Judy, of my grandmother keeping the family Christmas tree up from December 1918 until his return. Was their affair going on during this time period? I don’t know and the discovery of Jacob as my biological grandfather wasn’t made until after she passed away. But I think if she or my Aunt Tootsie had an inkling of it, they would have spilled the beans!

Jacob went back home to the farm on the Pelham Parkway/Williamsbridge Road in the Bronx where we find them in the 1920 census. Jacob Sr is 57 and Jacob Jr is 24 and single. They are farming on leased land.

This is the point of his life, my grandmother’s life, really coincide because Jacob Jr. is my mother’s biological father. My grandparents and their 4 children were living in Yonkers NY according to the 1921 directory. At some point in 1921, they moved briefly to East Hampden Massachusetts, and then to New Britain Connecticut, where my mother was born on April 5, 1922. I will never know the circumstances surrounding this, but perhaps she found she was pregnant and decided it was time to get out of New York. The home where the family lived in New Britain was owned by one of her Ingram uncles and I’m still working on the concrete connection of Jacob Sr to this family.

By 1930, Jacob Jr is living in Flushing in Queens County New York. He is 34 years old, single and renting the home. Also living there is his sister, Elizabeth, her husband Albert Klein and their two children, Adeline, 8, and Robert, 3. His occupation is as a farmer of a “truck farm” and Albert is his assistant.

*Location of 6919 Kisseana Blvd Flushing NY*

It is possible that Jacob Sr was involved in this farm as Aunt Joanne, my mother’s half sister, told me the following –
“My father made sure his father was cared for throughout his life. When my dad had his own farm in the late 20s…early 30s, his dad was involved. For a time my Grandpa was employed as a groundskeeper at Woodlawn Cemetery on the border of Bronx and Westchester. I’d say through the influence of my Dad.

It is also through this farm that Jacob Jr. met his wife, Anna Maria Augusta Winner. The Winner farm was adjacent to Jacob’s farm. Jacob and Anna were married on December 16, 1934 when Jacob was 39 and Anna was 24.

Something interesting – I have a postcard from, what looks like a postmark of 1934 sent from my mother when she would be 12 years old, to her “father” Konrad Posluszny, with a picture of the Paramount Theater in Brooklyn. She is with her mother. As hard as I try I can’t see the full date but I wonder if they were visiting Jacob and the family or would they have gone to Jacob and Anna’s wedding? Another thing we’ll never know.

The Sisters

Shortly after Katherine passed away, Theresa, Katherine, Elizabeth, Louise, and Hannah left their father, and brother Jacob, and moved to New York City. They show up in the 1920 Federal census living at 123 West 128th Street. Theresa is 26, a registered nurse, Katherine, 21, a sales lady, Elizabeth, 20, a telephone operator, Louise 12, a stenographer, and Hannah, 13 in school. I wonder what contact the daughters had with their father in the time after they left and during the time their brother was gone. According to Google AI, the approximate distance between the two locations is 9-10 miles. Factors affecting distance and travel would be the limited road network, paved versus unpaved roads, and mode of transportation.

Barbara Theresa / Tessa

On December 18, 1923, in Bronx NY, Theresa, 29, known as Tessa, marries George Francis Murphy, 34 born in New York City NY. He is one of five sons of John Murphy and Susan McAliney of New York City and is a longshoreman.

*Barbara/Teresa and George Murphy marriage license 1923*

Louise is a witness to their marriage along with George’s brother John Jr. It’s fairly impossible to decipher the residence address but they did get married in the Bronx.

Theresa gives birth to a daughter Irene Theresa in May of 1927 and a daughter Rita Louise in April of 1931.

*Jacob Sr with Theresa* *and Irene (abt 1929)*

In the 1930 federal census, George, Theresa, and Irene, 3 years old are living at 59 Early Street in the Bronx and George is now a Draftsman for an electric company. Theresa is now “at home” and is no longer nursing. Although it’s listed “the Bronx”, they actually live on City Island. Mark and I were there for a wedding years ago!

Katherine and Louise

While Theresa was dating George Murphy and planning her wedding, Katherine and Louise were playing basketball! According to the Evening World on January 29, 1921, it was “a newly organized quintet composed of former high school girls” and was “desirous of booking games with any female team.”

The team was the Manhattan A.C. Lassies and they played their games at the Manhattan Casino at 155th Street and 8th Avenue. I cannot find any information by Googling the name of this team, the information is from Newspapers(dot)com. They also played at the Central Casino at 154th and Macombe place. They were so popular they played a championship game at Madison Square Garden!

Unfortunately, the roster was never listed and the articles faded out by November of 1923.

Katherine/Kathryn/Kitty and Louise continued to live together and in the 1930 federal census they are on Walton Avenue in the Bronx. They are 32 and 28 and both stenographers. Katherine for the Aviation industry, and Louise in insurance. The family story is Katherine worked as a secretary for Charles Lindbergh. Google says he didn’t have a business or an office so perhaps it was through the aviation company she worked for that she met him.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth has an interesting story….She got married on June 6, 1917 at the age of 19 to Barney Michkind, 24 years old. But, she’s in the 1920 federal census with the rest of her sisters and listed as single.

In 1922, she has a daughter Adeline with husband Albert Klein and a son Robert, in 1927.

The 1930 federal census, they are living on Kisseana Boulevard in Flushing New York and they are living with Jacob Jr. He is 34 and single, and Albert works with him as an assistant. It says Jacob has a “truck farm” in which he produced a variety of perishable fruits and vegetables and transported them to urban centers. The census says both Elizabeth and Albert were 21 when they got married. More on that story in the next post.

Hannah/Johanna/Joan

I’m going to assume that Katherine, Louise, and Hannah were all living together in the 1920s.

On June 1, 1927, Hannah, one month away from her 21st birthday, and listed as Johanna on the marriage license index, married Anton Zeiss Jr. who is 24 years old.

*Hannah/Johanna and Anton Zeiss marriage license* *1927*

In the 1930 federal census, she and Anton are living in Pennsauken Township New Jersey which is outside of Philadelphia and by today’s traffic, 2 hours on the interstate. He is a draftsman for a radio company.

Recap –

In the 20 years after Katherine died, Jacob Jr was overseas in World War 1 and had a child (my mother). Barbara/Tessa got married and had 2 children. Katherine and Louise lived together, worked as stenographers and played basketball for a few years. Elizabeth got married, divorced and married(?) again and had 2 children. Hannah got married and moved to New Jersey.

More to come!

Jacob Ingram and His Family

It was a little startling back in January of 2020 to realize the man and family I thought of as my mother’s father and his paternal line, was not correct.

I’ve written about my grandfather, Jacob Engram, Jr., but I thought I’d do some more research and put together a timeline of the whole family. It is going to be long!

Jacob Ingram/Engram

My great grandfather was Jacob Sebastian Ingram. He was born, according to his death certificate on July 7, 1859 in Padew Naraodowa which is a village in Mielec County in south-eastern Poland. At the time of his birth it was in Galicia which was part of Austria due to all the dividing up of Poland.

His birth year ranges from 1859 to 1862. The 1862 dates are reflected on the Ellis Island manifest and census records, so I continue to search a variety of dates for a definitive birth year. Unfortunately the years prior to 1863 are not part of the Geneteka collection. <sigh>.

Even his parents are a mystery. His father’s name is consistently “Sebastian”, however his marriage license lists his mother as Louise (maiden name) Burghardt and his death certificate as Katherine Burghardt. Geneteka records list only Sebastian Ingram and Elzbieta Burghardt in a search. I “know” them because they are the parents of my great-grandfather Ludwig Ingram. Recent information I found said he had a brother John, a brother Frantz (sp), and a sister Juliana.

Jacob left Europe at 24 years old on May 30, 1886 via Hamburg Germany and arrived in New York on June 14th. He traveled in Steerage (“zwischendeck”) aboard the Rhaetia. Records don’t indicate where he was going but wherever he went, he’d be looking for a job as a “schmied” or blacksmith.

At the time of his arrival, Castle Garden, or what we know as Castle Clinton National Monument was the main immigration station for the Port of New York. I was there in June of 2025, and wandered through wondering if any of my ancestors experienced walking through these doors.

Seven years later, on July 23, 1893, Jacob married Katherine Duy. He was 31 years old and she was 28.

*marriage license Jacob and Katherine 1893*

Katherine Duy Ingram/Engram

Katherine was born on August 9, 1965 in Padew as well. Katherine was the 6th born to Johann Jacob Duy and Maria Teresa (maiden name) Duy. According to the 1910 Federal census, she arrived in the United States in 1893 when she was 28 years old. A quick look at a census record for her sister, Barbara, born in 1869, shows she immigrated in 1893, so it could be possible they came together. But that would mean she arrived in the US and almost immediately married Jacob. The 1915 New York State census lists her arrival year as 1887, when she was 22. Another question mark!

Family stories say she had a “withered” arm. The few photos of her don’t show both arms so it’s not known which one or how damaged it was.

Other family members who immigrated included her parents Johann and Theresa and Philip born in 1875 who immigrated with them in 1904. On arrival, they moved to West Springfield Massachusetts. Wilhelm (b. 1867) immigrated and lived in Greenwich Connecticut. Barbara, mentioned above, immigrated in 1893 and lived in Astoria New York. Margaretha (b. 1872) immigrated and lived in South Hadley Massachusetts. One son, Jacob (b. 1858) remained in Austria.

Engram Children Births

More than nine months, but less than a year later, Jacob and Katherine’s first child, a daughter, Barbara, was born on April 27, 1894. Barbara was known as Theresa or Tess and the only indication her name was Barbara is this birth record. Her death certificate says Theresa B.

*Birth record for Barbara (Theresa) Ingram*

14 months later, on July 11, 1895, Katherine gave birth to Jacob Jr. This is the first time I see the spelling of their last name to be ENGRAM and that’s what it remained moving forward.

13 months later on August 19, 1896, Katherine gives birth to her second son, Louis.

Another year, another baby! Second daughter Katherine is born on March 2, 1898. Jacob and Katherine have four children under the age of 4. Whew! Notice these last 2 birth records do not have a first name – maybe they were still deciding.

Dare I say it? Another daughter, Elizabeth was born on November 1, 1899. I don’t have a copy of her birth record, but I trust the family member who has the information in her family tree. This is Jacob and Katherine’s fifth child and 3rd daughter.

On April 19, 1900, Louis died from Acute Meningitis at 3 years and 9 months old. This left Jacob Jr and three sisters.

In 1901, daughter Louise is born. Her name is either a tribute to Louis or to Jacob’s mother Louise (if that was her name!).

Memories written by Jacob and Katherine’s daughter Katherine in 1980, mention a brother who died in infancy. The gap between Louise and Hannah would likely be when it happened but there is not record found to confirm the birth or death.

After a space of five years, the last daughter Hannah is born on July 9, 1906.

Where They Lived 1893-1916

When Jacob and Katherine got married, Jacob was living at 306 W. 69th Street in New York and Katherine was living at 233 W. 80th Street.

1893-1894: After they were married, they continued to live at 306 W. 69th Street and Jacob was still working as a blacksmith. They were living here when Barbara was born.

Per google, the Upper West Side of New York City was a growing, but not yet completely developed, residential neighborhood. 306 West 69th Street and 233 West 80th Street would have been a walk-up tenement or a brownstone rowhouse, likely housing recent immigrants and working-class families who were moving to the area from more crowded parts of the city.

1895: They are now living in Westchester and he is a farmer. You’ll see Westchester was a town in Westchester County New York. In 1895 it was transferred to the City and County of New York, in 1898, it and other areas formed the Borough of the Bronx, and finally in January 1914, the Bronx was split off from New York County and it became Bronx County. This will the area where Jacob continues to farm.

1896-1900: They are living at Ferris Lane but it alternatives between simply Westchester and Union Port, New York City. Union Port appears to have been a village or neighborhood of Westchester. I found a video that talks about the lost villages of the Bronx and took a screen shot when I saw Ferris. Since he is a gardener, perhaps Ferris is the area where he worked and lived.

1906: They are now living on Williamsbridge Road in Westchester, New York City.

My initial thoughts of this area were they must be very rural but research shows me that all of the small towns in the Bronx were rapidly filling up with New Yorkers moving out of the city looking for a plot of their own.

1910: The federal census shows they are living in the Bronx Borough, part of New York City. Wickham Avenue to Astor Estate is the street listing. AI says, “In 1910, the area of the Bronx between Wickham Avenue and the former Astor Estate was rapidly developing from a semi-rural landscape into a residential neighborhood. Jacob, 48, is listed as a Gardener in the farm industry and “working on own account”. Katherine, 44, and the children “Tessie 16, Jacob 14, Kate 12, Elizabeth 10, Louise 8, and Hanna 3” are all at home and I assume attending school.

1915: The state census lists the family at Pelham Parkway in the Bronx County. Jacob the father (54), and Jacob the son (19) were farming. Katherine the mother (49), “Thresia” (21), and Katherine 17I did house work, and Elizabeth (15), Louise (13), and Hannah (9) were in school.

You can see Pelham Parkway as they would have known it on the right, and the present day Pelham Parkway.

During this time period, Katherine’s parents, Johann and Theresa Duy would come and visit. They lived in Longmeadow Massachusetts, but they had Katherine, Barbara, and William in the Connecticut/New York area. The following story comes from their daughter Katherine’s 1980 written memories to her sister Theresa’s (born Barbara) daughter Irene:
My mother’s mother and father (my grandparents) and Uncle Philip were the last members to come to America. I remember my mother telling us how terrible the ocean voyage was and they almost died. And I also remember how my mother longed to see her parents and grieved she would never see them again. They used to come and stay with us for periods at a time and when they left to go back to their eldest daughter’s in Longmeadow Massachusetts…they would cling to each other and it was almost impossible to tear them apart. And they always grieved for the brother and sister who remained in Austria. The family bond was very strong.

Unfortunately, life with Jacob was not always pleasant as he was an alcoholic. Stories passed down mention Katherine leaving Jacob a few times. She would travel to her brother William’s home in Greenwich Connecticut. While away, she would take in laundry. She returned each time because she was pregnant.

October 27, 1916, Katherine Duy Engram passed away after a two year battle with breast cancer. She left behind Jacob and seven children ranging from 22 to 10.

In daughter Katherine’s 1980 memories, she shared this with her niece Irene. Katherine was 18 when her mother died:
”It will be 64 years on the 27th of October 1980 since my mother passed away. She was very, very sick with cancer for 2 years before she died. I stayed on the farm and kept house for the family for 2 years and because of unbearable, alcoholic conditions, we left our father. Your mother (Theresa) was either in nursing training or already doing nursing duty during that time. She always wanted to be a nurse.
I know my mother would be very proud if she came back today and saw the family she created, but I am sure she watched over us and prayed for us and still does. From time to time I wake up thinking of her and recall the bitter, hard struggle she had and can’t go back to sleep for wishing I could take her in my arms and hold her close. Children never know the sacrifices their mother’s make for them. Your heritage is a beautiful one Irene.”

After Katherine died, Jacob Jr. enlisted for World War I and the girls all moved to New York in the care of Theresa. In my next post, I’ll pick up from here.

Angel Antonia

She died in the early morning hours of April 2, 1927. Alone in her hospital room while her husband and five children slept in their nearby apartment.

She knew something was wrong the previous afternoon. She sent her 12 year old son for the midwife and then went to the hospital.

“She’ll be fine” is what they told her husband when he left the hospital that evening, only to be alerted by the grocer with the neighborhood telephone.

Her obituary said, “She was very well and favorably known to a large circle of friends among the Polish residents of the town”. Small comfort for her family.

She was buried in St. Thomas Cemetery in Southington on April 4th. Her husband carved a wooden cross for her grave and mourned her death until his in 1935.

Years later, her son, Edward, who, at her request, stayed home from school that day, had a headstone made for his mother.

*St. Thomas Cemetery, Southington CT, Section 12*

Her husband was never the same. Two of the younger children went to an uncle in Massachusetts and the youngest, to his godmother in town. When he and his older sons found a permanent place to live in Wallingford, he brought everyone back together. But how many months had gone by suddenly without a mother and then a father?

I try to imagine what their lives, and ours, would have been like if she lived long enough to watch her children grow up and to know her grandchildren. Would we call her Babcia? Would she teach us to speak Polish? Would we tease her about being so short and would my boy cousins rest their arms on the top of her head trying to be funny. Who would be her favorite child? Who would be her favorite grandchild?

We’ll never know.

Time and Memory

Reflections on the anniversary of my father’s passing

Friday, March 28th, marked the 15th anniversary of my dad’s death in 2010. In February of that year, after a month of turmoil for us all, he was finally settled into the nursing home after leaving his assisted living with a short stay in the hospital. He’d begun attending the events and, as always, enjoyed the music. My sister Gail said she’d had a nice visit with him, taking him for a walk around the grounds and spending time sitting and talking outside.

It was a Sunday, when I received the call from the nursing home to tell me he had passed away. He was sitting in bed eating breakfast when someone walked by, and when they walked by again, he was slumped over. Just like that. Gail and I contacted the funeral home then headed there and sat with him for a while. It was Palm Sunday and the home left a frond in his room that I took and have in a box with my parents personal belongings.

I’ve written more than once about my mother’s eight week journey from diagnosis to death with Glioblastoma. My dad’s death occurred one week prior to the 23rd anniversary of my mother’s death.

After my mother died, my father carried on. He was 63 and still working in the facilities department at Gaylord Hospital in town. He really loved that job! He was such a people person, he was an awesome painter and wall-paperer, my sister Gail worked there, and the Farms Country Club was next door so he’d look for golf balls during lunch or hit some balls.

He loved “his girls”, his grandkids, golfing, and riding his bike. During my 8 years in California, he visited both with my sisters and by himself and I never had to entertain him. He’d take off for the day on my bike or head to the golf course in town.

I won’t go through the litany of health ailments starting with his 1996 knee replacement, but they were enough to slow him down and significant enough that he was not able to live on his own after 2000. After that, it felt like from late January until April, he, and we, were dealing with one health issue or another.

During this week every year, I think about that. I’ve written about my dad’s childhood, how his mother died when he was turning 3 and his father died the month before his 11th birthday. He and his older siblings were then raised by his 12 years older brother.

What do I think about? I think that he didn’t want to leave his girls alone. I think that he wanted to be with us, to be our dad for as long as he could even if that meant fighting through whatever pain he had. I may sound crazy, but I think after 22 years and 51 weeks my mother said, “Honey, they’re going to be fine, come home” and with that, he went home.

January 31st

January 31st. 38 years ago, on January 31st, 1987, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Glioblastoma Multiform. It was not a question of IF she would die, but WHEN. It was so invasive throughout her brain, there was nothing they could do for her.

I’ve written about our journey with her illness here and here. Boy, did it suck. Her decline was so rapid, it was like she let out a sigh of relief from getting found out. I felt so fecking helpless. Maybe that’s why I always cajole my family members with a “you’re fine, you’re fine!” Like I can will their pain or illness out of them because I couldn’t do it for her.

So many years later, I see myself standing at the copier at work hearing my name as I’m paged for a phone call. I hear Gail saying, “I’ll always think of this when I pay my taxes”. I see me sitting with my sisters in the hospital cafeteria discussing what she’ll wear for her funeral. Weeks later, trying to force her to eat because the visiting nurse said when she stops, the end will only be a few weeks (it was). I went out that afternoon for the St. Patricks Day parade in New Haven and tied.one.on. We knew it wouldn’t be long.

She died 8 weeks after her diagnosis. Every year between January 31st and April 4th, I remember what it felt like to see her slip away.

Favorite Photo

The Week 2 Topic for 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is “Favorite Photo”.

This photo started me on my Ancestry Journey:

My mother’s oldest sister, Antoinette, known as Toots and Tootsie, was the family picture keeper. When I visited her in her little one room apartment, she would bring out the photos and tell me about the people in the photos. Some of the stories didn’t match the previous ones, but it was fun to just sit and listen to her. When she moved to a nursing home, my cousin Judy had the pictures and when she passed away, her husband gave them to me.

This photo is of the entire Posluszny Family, the maternal side of my family tree. In the front row is John Posluszny and his son John, Ann Straub Posluszny with her daughter Ann, Mary Posluszny (later to become Mary Biega), Caroline Straub Posluszny (at this time Bonk) and her son Walter, Elizabeth Posluszny (later to become Elizabeth Laçz). The back row is Joseph Posluszny, husband of Ann, Frank Posluszny, Charles Posluszny, John Bonk (the men’s stepfather and Caroline’s second husband, Walter’s father), Julianna Ingram Posluszny, and Conrad Posluszny (my grandmother and grandfather).

I have stared at this photo for so many years, just looking at the faces and wondering about them and their lives in Wildenthal (now Dzikowiec) before coming to the United States.

I marvel at the handsomeness of my grandfather (ok, he’s not really, but I am still related because he and my grandmother were 2nd or 3rd cousins), and I can’t get over the resemblance of Mary Posluszny Biega to my cousin Ann who has passed away.

I have individual pictures of a few of them, and some wedding photos that I treasure, but this photo is my favorite. It keeps me digging.

In The Beginning

It’s a new year and a new list of topics for 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks! We’ll see how it all works out, but hopefully, I can also get some subjects on my hit list written.

Week 1 Topic for 2025 is In the Beginning. I’ve written a post already about how I got involved in Ancestry so I’m taking this in a different direction. What better topic than my parents who started it all!

My mother, Elizabeth Ann Posluszny was born in 1922, and my father, John Steven Jakiela in 1924. They attended Lyman Hall High School together and my dad’s brother Walter was in my mother’s graduating class. I don’t know if they knew each other through their school years.

After high school, my mother went to Lauren Business School in Meriden and then went to work at Factory A of the International Silver Company. My dad worked at the Wallingford Steel Mill during high school and continued afterward until he headed to England in 1943. He returned to that job when he came home in 1945, and then he moved on to the paint store.

My mother and my dad’s sister Helen worked together at International Silver and belonged to a bowling league. My Auntie Helen told me that he would pick them up and drop off my mother at her home at 121 Clifton Street, and then he and Helen would go home. Auntie Helen realized something was happening when my dad started dropping her off first and then taking Betty home!

She also told me that “your mother said he’d better get off the pot and do something or she was moving on”. Suffice it to say they were married on November 9, 1952.

A little fun fact: Before their wedding, in January of 1952, John took a trip to Florida. I have an undocumented memory of him and his older brother Steve going there to see their brother Walter when he arrived stateside from wherever he had been. I wrote about him in March of 2024.

John sent some cute postcards to Betty while he was gone. He even put little notes under the stamps.

Betty was 30 on her wedding day and John was 28. Her mother was a widow and John lived with his oldest brother and his family so there was not likely a lot of money for a wedding but it was still beautiful. She had a timeless dress that was later worn by my sisters for their weddings. John and his groomsmen were in handsome morning suits.

*Steve Jakiela, John, Betty, and Tootsie Posluszny*

They left for a Florida honeymoon from the reception.

They lived in Meriden early in their marriage as Betty continued to work in the office at International Silver and John continued to work for Lacourciere Paint Company.

They hung around with John’s sister Helen and her future husband Ticker (Joseph) Jordan. They were married in May of 1953. They all loved to spend time at the Rocky Neck State Beach and vacation together in South Carolina.

They moved from Meriden to a cute rental on Carlton Street in Wallingford which was 2 blocks from her childhood home. Janice, Gail, and I were born when they were living there and we were likely busting out of the seams when we moved a year later to our beloved home at 15 Atkinson Lane.

Their marriage wasn’t perfect, but it worked for them. My dad loved having three girls and always said he wouldn’t want it any other way. He took us on bicycle and walking adventures and my mother instilled in us the love of reading.

They were the beginning of our family and the families my sisters and I created.

Mental Health

The topic for Week 36 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is “We Don’t Talk About It”.

My grandfather, Konrad Posluszny, committed suicide in the early morning of December 28, 1944. He was a night janitor at the Wallingford Steel Mill, where he had access to the offices and storerooms and that is where he got the gun he used. It was written up in the afternoon Meriden Daily Journal on the 28th, and then the next day, the morning paper, the Meriden Record, had a much more dramatic telling of the tragedy.

Years after it happened, my Aunt Tootsie told me “a gypsy told my father he was going to die by a gun and so he didn’t allow them in our home”.

As the second article mentions, he might have been “brooding over the dangers that might befall his son” my Uncle Connie who was assigned to duty in New Guinea. My uncle was a cook in the Army but I never found any records for him in the Fold3 website. My Aunt Judy did talk about him having to “pack up the kitchen” when they were being relocated.

*Julianna (Gram), Connie, Konrad (Gramp*) *1943 or 1944*

Would he have committed suicide because he was worried about his son? Not likely, unless there were mental health issues to begin with.

Which brings me to something else my Aunt Tootsie told me in one of our conversations. She said “when he was in the hospital”, the doctor allowed him to have beer because “he needed it”. Crazy right? It makes me think he was maybe in a hospital for mental health issues. This post from conversations with my Aunt Judy and my cousin Judy, talks about my grandfather and grandmother relationship.

*Konrad with his daughter Julia in 1937*

Another piece of the puzzle comes from my first experience with a medium in 2013. I realize a lot of people don’t believe in mediums or what they say, but hey, my grandfather believed what the Gypsy said! This medium said my grandfather committed suicide, was there with my mother, he later mentioned the gun shot and the depression he suffered from all his life. If you’re interested you can go to YouTube, search for CT Buzz and the look for Medium and Life Guide Phil Quinn. It’s 7:40 long and you might recognize a younger me in the screenshot. During either this reading or another, Phil told me that my grandfather suffered from profound depression and he didn’t have a joyful day in his life.

That makes me think about how he started out as a hatter, ended up with a hat company of his own, he had a patent for a cleaning solution for straw hats, but died as a janitor at a steel mill. I told the story about the family profession here. I feel such sadness for him to have had so much and then nothing. Was it because of this depression that caused my aunt to say her mother had more balls than her father?

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only person in the family suffering from mental illness…

My great-uncle Frank Posluszny, spent at least 10 years in the Essex County Hospital (for the Insane) in Cedar Grove, New Jersey. The 1910 and 1920 censuses, show his occupation as a Hatter. However, by the April 27, 1930 census, he was an inmate at the hospital and was there again in the 1940 census. A section in this census asks if this is the same residence as 1935, and the response for Frank is “same residence”. I have not been able to find any death record for Frank but it might be safe to say he spent the rest of his years at the county hospital. He and his wife had three children.

Frank and Josephine Posluszny wedding photo. Brother Charles back left, step father Jon Bonk, back third from left, mother Caroline seated left, sister Mary seated right — *Frank and Josephine’s wedding photo. His brother Charles is top left, stepfather Jon 3rd from left, mother Caroline seated left, and sister Mary seated right*

My great-aunt Elizabeth Posluszny Laçz, left her husband and two children behind and disappeared in 1923 or 1924. Her sister Mary, hired a private detective but he never found her. She came up in a medium reading I had years ago and I was told she had a complete breakdown and created an entirely new life. I have never found records of her or her children but I wonder if there is a trace of them among any of my DNA matches.

The Posluszny Family. Elizabeth is bottom right, next to her mother. She is approximately 9 years old. — *Posluszny family photo – Frank 2nd from left in back, Konrad back far right, Elizabeth front right seated*

I never had a conversation with my mother about the death of her father. She was 22 when it happened and I can’t imagine how they felt getting that knock on their door that morning. All I knew as I was growing up was that he died a long time ago.

Today we are all better educated about mental health and we are able to express how we are feeling either to each other or a therapist. A little part of me knows that the DNA we got from our dad’s side of the family evened us all out!

My Favorite Discovery

The Week 33 topic for 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is – My Favorite Discovery. I’ve had a few discoveries over the last 25 years. My favorite discovery has a good side / not-so-good side, but it makes me happy.

The road to this discovery started in 2004, when my cousin Judy Posluszny Behme passed away and her husband brought me all her ancestry paperwork. She and I were working parallel, we didn’t share information or ask questions about what we had. I knew she was also working on it, but not much more!

The papers included email correspondence from someone named Joanne. Judy had sent a letter to Anna Engram, Joanne’s mother. I don’t know whether the letter was ancestry-related or just perhaps a Christmas card to Aunt Tootsie’s list of people. Who knows how long it had been since cards had been sent out but it was a smart idea to use the list for information too!

emails from 2/7/2001, 2/25/2001, and 11/18/2004

The top 2 emails are from Joanne to Judy in February 2001, 2 weeks apart, and the bottom one is my email to Joanne in November of 2004.

Joanne responded right away. She still didn’t know who she visited as a young girl but recalled a wedding in Wallingford “of a woman relative who was marrying at ‘mid-age'” and “this may have been a cousin? to my Dad”.

Through our emails, she told me about her father, Jacob Engram Jr., and his father, Jacob, who immigrated from Austria-Hungary and was a farmer. While growing up her father lived in the vicinity of today’s Bronx-Whitestone Bridge, and later on a rented farm in the Pelham Bay area. I knew there was some family connection because my grandmother loved her flowers and tending to her gardens.

My Aunt Judy helped put some pieces together in a phone conversation in November 2004. According to Judy, Uncle Jack Ingram had a farm “in Long Island”, and her parents would go there from Yonkers and help out. Uncle Jack had a son, Jack, who was in World War I and Aunt Judy remembered her mother kept up her Christmas tree until February, when “her nephew” Jack came home. The dates don’t add up but it’s interesting how that story got passed down. Jack served overseas during World War I from July 18, 1918, to July 13, 1919.

We continued our correspondence through the remainder of the year and determined that she attended my parent’s wedding on November 9, 1952. 72 years ago today! Joanne was only 7 years old so an older bride and a partially bald groom would be considered “mid-aged” in her eyes!

We emailed back and forth a few times and then didn’t talk again until 2016 and again in 2018. Life is like that sometimes!

And then, her kids gave her a DNA kit for Christmas in 2018. In March of 2019, we confirmed we were related. Oh boy, were we related! We were so much related that she and I shared twice the cMs compared to me and my first cousins. It also explained why some DNA matches were only between us and not between my maternal cousins.

I went to the experts – the Ancestry DNA Facebook group. My question “Why do I share 1,040 cMs with this person and only 527 and 467 with my first cousins” was met with “You need to talk to your mother”. Since my mother had been gone for 32 years by 2019, I answered my own question.

Joanne was my half aunt and her father, Jacob Engram, Jr., was also my mother’s father.

Shocked is putting it mildly.

My initial reactions were: 1) The work I’ve done on the Posluszny and Straub side was all for nothing!, 2) All the DNA matches associated with the last name “Duy” made sense because that was Jacob’s mother’s maiden name and, 3) not only were Julianna and Konrad Posluszny related (3rd cousins perhaps), but geez, Julianna and Jacob were related as well!

If there was any question of being related, I have the photographic proof:

That would probably be the bad side of the discovery because it did shake me up a bit.

I’m fascinated by the timing because my grandmother and family were living in New Britain in 1921 when she would have become pregnant. Did she know? Did she tell him her suspicions? Did their relationship continue after my mother was born? This is where I’d love to be a time traveler (and I’d have to let it happen again so that I would be assured I exist!).

The good side of the discovery is that I have an aunt! Jacob married in 1934 and had a daughter in 1945. Although she and my mother never knew each other, they did meet and/or knew about each other as a part of the family. Joanne lives in Pennsylvania and we have not met face to face yet. We are Facebook friends and we share any ancestry information we come across.

So this event would definitely qualify as my favorite discovery!

The End of the Line….

The week 31 topic for 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is End of the Line. This story will not go in the direction you automatically think of when hearing “end of the line”.

If my teacher was putting the class in order of height, “Nancy, you go to the end of the line” would not come out of her mouth ever in 8 years at Holy Trinity School. Only if I was being separated from my sister or friends because I couldn’t stop talking!

My ancestors did NOT bring the height to my family. At the time of their ocean voyages, my grandfather Charles Jakiela, at 17 was 4’9”. My grandmother Antonia Liro, at 21 was also 4’9”. I have no ship manifest for my grandmother, Julianna Ingram, but her sister Mary’s record says she was 4’8”. My biological grandfather, Jacob Engram Jr, is listed as 5’9” on his WWII draft registration card. He’s a jolly green giant compared to the others.

The height issue is evident in Charles and Antonia’s 1912 wedding photo which looks like they put their heads into cardboard cut outs of a bride and groom.

*Charles and Antonia Jakiela June 24, 1912*

Their four male children ended up between Steve at 5’5” and Walt who reached 5’9”. If his parents had been alive when he registered for the draft, he would have towered over them by a foot!

My dad, John Jakiela, was 5’6” and my mother was 5’3”. I always say, “if I wasn’t born a twin I bet I would have been taller!” But, in all seriousness, I’ll take my twin over the height.

*2nd and 3rd in line (Dana Smith leading the way)*

Janice, at 18 months older, always had 2-3 inches on us. Just enough to not have to hem every pair of pants she got! Gail and I had a 4” growth spurt in 6th grade and except for a few more inches between then and 18, we were done at 4’11”. In standing in a line by height, we’re forever in the front and the shortest of all the relatives.

It pays to marry up! All five of the next generation are over 5 feet and the two of the next generation look like they will be able to take their place at… the end of the line.