The theme for week 5 of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks is “Influencer”.
The definition of Influencer is “a person or thing that influences another”. That person could be none other than my mother, Elizabeth Posluszny Jakiela.
She was born in 1922, the youngest of five children with an age gap of five years between her and her sister.
After high school she went to a business school and learned bookkeeping and worked at one of the several silver factories in the area. She got married while working there and continued to work until pregnant with my older sister. Eighteen months later, she had me and my twin sister.
When I started fourth grade, she went back to work, first for a temp agency and then a permanent job so she juggled family and work.
When my dad purchased the paint store he had worked at for years, she jumped right in to take care of the bookkeeping, heading to the store after her day was done at her paying job.
Even with this, she found time to volunteer at school events, participated in women’s church groups, school groups, and was an assistant troop leader for our Girl Scout troops.
When our church began running a carnival in the early 1970s, she jumped right in to volunteer wherever she was needed. Only a few years went by before she was selected to be the chairman of the event. She never backed down from a challenge and she loved being a part of it and continued to volunteer up until she passed away.
My sisters and I all got married and raised our children, found the time to volunteer in their schools and in our community.
Personally, I went to school to be an administrative assistant and have worked with my husband for 25 years in his remodeling business as his bookkeeper and office manager. I definitely inherited that from her!
My mother will be gone 37 years on April 4th and I know she would be proud of the influence she had on her three girls, and her grandchildren in turn.
I’m starting, and hopefully I will complete, a “challenge” called 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks #52Ancestors.
I’ve been spending more time on my other site Thoughts From the Passenger Seat writing about thoughts that pop into my head, or answering the daily prompts. It’s easier! I don’t have to dig through the paperwork or get frustrated searching on Ancestry.
But I miss it….and I bet you do too!
Starting this week I’ll be writing one story a week based on the prompt provided. It won’t always be dates and facts and it could be about any one in my family – maybe even you!
Posluzny family c. 1909Joe Mikula with Walt and John JakielaGalloway Family c. 1910Katherine Duy EngramJulia, Konrad, and Antoinette Posluszny c. 1909John, Walt, Steve, Ed Jakiela
I hope you’ve enjoyed the stories of my Aunt Judy I’ve shared so far. The explanation of how they came to be is here and the second part about her family growing up is here. Catch up and then join in!
So this part of the conversation between Aunt Judy, her niece “Little Judy” and her nephew, Jack involves Aunt Judy growing up and her marriage and life with Uncle Mal – Malcolm Bellafronto.
What was the hardest thing you ever did? My Hair. No one has any idea of the life I had.
I lost my hair when I was a year old! 1917 during the war, everyone was getting typhoid, so when I lost my hair they figured I’d get it back, but I never did. My mother was taking me down to Yale-New Haven clinic for observation, by then I was 8 or 9 years old. I had eyebrows and eyelashes and I had to sit there with all the doctors standing around trying to figure out what was wrong. They couldn’t find any reason except alopecia, yet they said, it was not really, because I had eyebrows and eyelashes! When I hit puberty, I got pubic hair and hair under my arms but as I got older, everything left. They said I would get it when I hit puberty, which wasn’t true, but I’m glad they did because I always had the hope that when I was a teenager, I’d get that hair so at least I wasn’t in despair.
Judy and Betty
My mother made a white hat for me but they’d pull it off my head and call me Baldy and everything – and they were my peers. Then when I got older, cripes, I wore that kooky wig. I got hit in the forehead playing basketball and it got knocked off and there were all the boys in the stands. One time the wind caught it while I was walking up Center Street and I had to go chasing it!
Aunt Judy 20 years old
When I see them getting these wigs for these kids, I tell you, I am so glad. I told my kids once they could understand, I swear if I ever hear you make fun of anyone with an infirmity, you will get beat until you are black and blue. I told them why. You have no idea how tough it is on a kid, especially a girl. When I see these things about stuff like that being funny, I think, You have no idea. That is not funny at all. But like I said, I had so many other blessings.
What are some of the fun times? The best thing that ever happened to me was Mal. I think if I had not found someone who loved me so deeply…once we were horsing around and it (the wig) fell off, and of course, I went into tears. he said “What’s the matter with you? Don’t you think I know?” Well, knowing and seeing are 2 different things. But to have him love me and think I was so wonderful was really the best thing to happen to me. Had I not married him, I probably would have wound up a crabby old maid! I never can complain about my life.
50th Wedding Anniversary 1939 / 1989 tap for full picture!
Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal were very close with her brother Lou and his wife Irene. They traveled together, had summer cottages next door to each other, and all retired to the same location in Florida.
How did Lou and Mal meet? They both played football. Lou was quarterback, and Mal was center. Connie (her oldest brother) also played.
How did you and Uncle Mal meet? When I was drunk! It wasn’t love at first sight. The next time I saw him he said “I owe you something”. When I asked what, he said, “You said you’d give me a kiss if I scored a touchdown, and I didn’t so I have to give it back”. We grew on each other and I never thought I’d marry an Italian! When I went to New York to go shopping with my cousins over Easter he came to the house 2 or 3 times a day to see if I was home yet! We started going steady after that.
How did he propose? I don’t remember anything big. Once you started going steady that was usually it and the first gift you received was a cedar chest. He was carrying around a ring for awhile and I finally asked him when the heck he was going to give it to me because I wanted to wear it before the wedding!
What do you think your family thought of Uncle Mal? He was concerned about what my family thought of him. I asked him why and he said, “well, you know, Polish and Italians don’t get along”. I told him well, we’re also German! Finally I called out, “Hey Ma – I got a problem”, Mom said “What’s your problem?”. I said, “Mal wants to know what you think of him”. She said, “what do you mean what do I think of him?” “Well, he’s Italian!” Mom said, “So?”. Mom loved Mal.
Helen Evon, Judy, Betty (her sister) August 9, 1939
My mom was like that. Very liberated for her time. If someone said you couldn’t go to another church, she’d say, “that’s a lot of nonsense. God is in every church, not just in our church!”
What did the Bellafronto family think of you? They tolerated me and they had to because…No, I think my mother in law liked me but she was very domineering. She was born in the United States and went to Italy on a visit and met Mal’s dad, and they got married. Mal loved his dad dearly and was the only one in the family who did. For years and years we would go to their house for a meal and he’d come downstairs, eat and go back up! We were shocked that he came to our wedding. When his mother was dying, she took my hand and said you’re the best thing that every happened to my son. The family was different. You had to know them. They didn’t know how to mix. They were good to me though.
Mal, Judy, and Stephano (Augustine) Bellafronto May 1939
Uncle Mal was in World War II? Yes, he enlisted in the Navy in July of 1943 and went right away. We lived with my Mom, Dad, and Betty while he was gone. He was on a sub-chaser and spent 2-1/2 years in the Caribbean. The ship came back to California and was in dry dock so young Mal and I went out there to stay with him. We planned on staying with Tante Lizzie and Uncle Ben when he went back out. But shortly after the ship pulled out of the port, the Navy said Mal had enough points to go home! So we all came back to Connecticut.
Milly Bellafronto, Judy with Young Mal 1944
Mal, Judy, and young Mal returned to Wallingford to live after he got out of the Navy. They built a house on Lincoln Avenue in Wallingford around the corner from where my family would eventually live. In June of 1946 their son Robert Louis was born. They lived there until the mid-1970s when they retired to Florida with my Uncle Lou and Auntie Irene. My parents remained close to them after they moved and took a few trips down to Florida to visit with them.
What are you most proud of? My marriage. It was the best thing that every happened to me.
September 1985June 2013 (age 96)
Aunt Judy was sassy. In hindsight, she was very similar to how my grandmother has been described! She told you how it was and didn’t hesitate to swear, and then laugh! She had a very infectious laugh and it was fun to listen to her stories.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these Conversations with Aunt Judy!
Through the questions asked by Little Judy and her brother Jack, I’m going to share Aunt Judy’s answers and give a little background to her responses. If you missed the beginning, you can find it here. Let’s start with the early years.
There was a lot of conversation about Gram. She was quite a woman who had quite a secret! This is what she had to share about her mother.
What do you know about your mother’s early life?: She was quite a lady. She was not the person that people knew in the end. She was one of the lucky ones. She came here with no one. I don’t even know how she got here without a sponsor. She was lucky to be taken in by a rich woman – I don’t know her nationality or her name, but she immediately enrolled her in night school. That’s why she could speak English and learned at the niceties (Gram was this woman’s maid). That’s why she had so much poise. She was very fortunate.
How did she meet Grandpa? They both lived in Yonkers which was considered Germantown because that’s where all the Germans immigrated to. They were 3rd cousins and has to get dispensation. *This would mean they shared great great grandparents and in the early 1900s even 2nd cousins didn’t need dispensation so that might have been a family tale. Commonality appears to be with the Straub last name.
Julianna and FamilyJulianna, Konrad and Antoinette (late 1909)Posluszny Family – Julianna and Konrad back right
How many languages did she speak? She could speak German, Russian, and Polish, and she could understand “Jewish”. I bet out of all of us my mother had the highest IQ. She then followed that up with – I don’t know if my mother was any smarter than my dad but she had more balls than my father, yes she did!
Where did you learn to cook and sew? My mother! She could look at a piece of crochet and she could do it. She and Toots (the oldest daughter) would walk and window shop and if they saw a dress that Toots liked, she could just look at it then they’d go to Horowitz’s and buy the material and make a paper pattern and then the dress would be done the next day. I’m a good sewer but I could never do that! Gram didn’t need a pattern. There was nothing she couldn’t do and that’s why when we’d get shy about something she’d get so impatient with us! She’d say, “American boy got an education, and you can’t open your mouth?” She would open hers!
What else did Gram enjoy? She was an actress! She was in plays at the Polish (national) church a couple of times a year. I can still picture watching them! My mother and Aunt Mary (Gram’s sister-in-law). Aunt Mary was the boss – producer. Everyone would go to the church on Sunday night to watch. I don’t know what the hell they were saying but whatever she said, I guess it was the right thing because they’d all clap!”
What was Gram and Grandpa’s relationship like? She had a tough row to hoe. My father had a drinking problem. Fortunately, when he’d get drunk, he’d go up to bed and go to sleep. But he never lost a day’s work in his life. My mother got the paycheck. But just the same, to us, we knew Christmas would come, he was going to have too much to drink and then go to bed. It bothered us! Now we realize it wasn’t all that bad.
Tell us about your dad My dad and his brothers were hatters. When we moved to New Britain, he owned a hat company (The Conrad Hat Company). Dad was not a business-type guy but he would have been very successful if he was. He was a soft-hearted guy and the politicians in New Britain would come in and take advantage of him, having a hat made and saying they’d pay him later and they never did. He couldn’t pay his insurance, had a fire, and went out of business. They moved to Wallingford so he could find a job. He did get a job in the steel mill and his mother and stepfather gave them $500 to put a deposit on the house at 121 Clifton Street.
Who graduated from High School and when did everyone start working? Tootsie (15), Connie (14), and Lou (11) didn’t attend any school once they moved to Wallingford. Tootsie did housework until she could get into the factory. Connie grew up to be a fabulous baker but I don’t know if he started working for one right away. Lou went to the farm (Wallingford was filled with farms in the 1920s) and pretty much lived there. Judy graduated high school, and Betty graduated high school and went to business school. She was asked why did everyone start working. “Because there was no money!” Think about it – 5 kids, dad with no job, moving to a new town – everyone had to pitch in.
My mom, Betty front left, cousin Pauline right. Back cousin Katherine and Judy in capConnie and BettyJudy and Betty
I’m going to end here and next, we’ll hear from Aunt Judy about her life growing up, meeting Uncle Mal, and their life together!
Around 2009, my cousin Jack took the home movies that our Uncle Mal Bellafronto recorded and, I don’t know the magic involved, combined them onto DVDs with my Aunt Judy Bellafronto and my cousin, Judy Behme discussing what was recorded. These three DVDs range from the mid-1930s with Uncle Mal playing football for a local team through the late 1970s with my sisters and I cheerleading at a high school Thanksgiving Day game.
He gave the cousins each copies and they are something I treasure and find myself watching every couple of years. Each time I do, I find something else precious to view.
As I was once again organizing my “Family History” space which is one end of the room over our garage, I found an additional DVD that I’m sure I watched when we first received it. I popped it into the DVD slot on my 2008 Mac Desktop and started watching. Then quickly grabbed a notebook and a pen and started transcribing.
It is approximately 45 minutes of “The Judys”. Jack and Judy Behme (his sister and forever known as “Little Judy”) asked questions of their aunt’s life growing up, meeting Uncle Mal, and their marriage. I recognized some of the answers which I know I’ve shared here and there in the past but I didn’t appreciate the stories and details until now.
I’ll share the background and facts in this post and then over the next posts break it out in sections. So let’s start….
Julia Gertrude Posluszny was born on May 15, 1917 in Yonkers NY to Julianna (Ingram) and Konrad Posluszny. She was their fourth child and the second girl in the family. Her siblings were Antoinette (Tootsie 1909), Conrad (Connie 1910), Louis (Louie 1913).
The family moved from Yonkers around 1920 to East Hampton, MA, then to New Britain in 1921, and to Wallingford CT in 1925 where Konrad’s mother, stepfather, and half brother lived. They moved into a new home at 121 Clifton Street where family lived until 1988.
Judy and Betty (my mom)
She went to school in Wallingford, graduated in 1935 and met and married Malcolm Bellafronto in 1939. They had 2 sons and resided in Wallingford in a house on Lincoln Avenue. In the late 70s/early 80s, Uncle Mal retired from teaching at a tech school and they moved to Florida where they lived happily for many years.
Uncle Mal Bellafronto (@ 1943)
Uncle Mal passed away in January of 2002 at the age of 88. As Aunt Judy became elderly, she moved to New York, but first spent some time in Morocco living with her granddaughter and her family! Once in New York, she resided in a nursing home and passed away on December 24, 2016 just 6 months shy of her 100th birthday.
To my sisters and I growing up, she was our stylish aunt. We enjoyed going to her house and she made us outfits for Easter for a number of years. She and Uncle Mal had a cottage at Pickeral Lake we would visit frequently on Sundays during the summer and use the cottage for a week some summers.
She had a wonderful laugh and we loved to listen to her stories (and gossip!). The last time we saw her was in 2013 at our former cottage in Lebanon Ct for a family reunion when her granddaughter Cathy, husband Fred and their 4 children came to the U.S. Aunt Judy’s son Bob and I put together the event and Aunt Judy was there along with her son Mal and his two sons Mal (III) and Eric. She was 96 at the time (Impossible!) and as quick witted as ever.
My sister Gail talking with Aunt Judy
I look forward to putting the questions and answers into story and hope you enjoy this journey with me!
From early childhood in the 1960s until my early 20s, our 4th of July was spent at our relatives’ cottages at Pickerel Lake in Colchester, Connecticut. They were owned by my mother’s sister and her husband and my mother’s brother and his wife. They were all good friends and found this property and decided to put two homes on it with a common staircase from the road and a shared beach area.
It was about 45 minutes from our home in Wallingford and even though we went frequently throughout the summer, the 4th of July was a special party. It was a family reunion!
Besides the regular cast of characters there were people we saw on this day only. From Wallingford, my grandfather’s sister Aunt Mary Biega and his half-brother Walter Bonk and his wife Bea were there every year. I thought for the longest time that she was his mother! Walt and Bea had 3 daughters and they would be there with their families.
From the Fairfield area were the “Fairfield Posts”. Although they were all born Posluszny, a few of the brothers changed their last name to Post. The Polish “L” has the ~ through it so they just lopped off the rest of the letters! Joseph and Anna would be there along with their adult children and families.
There would always hard rolls from New York Bakery in Wallingford that we would stuff with my mother’s sausage and peppers with a piece of cheese on top. Clam chowder, hot dogs and hamburgers and delicious desserts. Every one brought something to share.
The adults would play cards at the picnic table, and there would be horseshoes or bocci going on in the middle of everything because there wasn’t much flat space!
Kids would be swimming out to the raft to hang out or to play “Toss People Off the Raft”. There were rowboats, and a canoe to take out and Uncle Mal was always willing to take people out in his sunfish. He’d have his moccasins on his feet and pipe in his mouth as we sailed around the lake. There were tubes to float around in – remember when they used to be actual car tire tubes? – and the fish loved to bite your butt as you floated around! Each cottage had a motorboat and if we were lucky, we’d get to go out in it and every luckier, got to waterski.
Kids in the life raft we brought, someone in a big tube, and people on the raft. Uncle Mal’s motorboat and the canoe in the foreground. Way in the back you can see the big rock that of course we called Plymouth Rock.
I don’t recall having fireworks there as it definitely wasn’t like it is now with fireworks from June 1st through the end of summer! The sun would set and we would pack our belongings and head on home. Sometimes we would catch town fireworks going off as we drove home.
The relatives moved to Florida in the 80s and held on to the cottages to stay at in the summer for a few years but eventually sold them. By then we were off to our own 4th of July parties.
My husband and I had a summer cottage at a nearby lake for 12 years and one time we took our kayaks over to Pickerel Lake to paddle the lake and see the houses again. It was a nice trip down memory lane. The lake felt so much smaller than I remember and the opposite side of the lake that was always home free, had homes at one end! It was nice to see them one last time.
White House – Aunt Judy and Uncle Mal’s. Blue House – Auntie Irene and Uncle LouThey built the houses together, built the retaining wall at the road, poured the concrete steps from the road to the beach area.
Every 4th of July I think back to those family reunions and the fun we had swimming and spending time together. I’m grateful that although we may not be together on the 4th, we continue to celebrate holidays together with these same people as we’ve grown older and had families of our own.
Where were we? Oh yes, we left off on my mother’s first night home from the hospital. We moved a bed down to the dining room and set it up for her until my dad got a hospital bed for her.
The next morning, my Aunt Tootsie and Auntie Edna showed up to begin their weekday routine. They would sit working on their crafts, cleaning, making food for my mother, and making us dinner. They knew each other superficially; Aunt Tootsie was my mother’s sister and Auntie Edna was my father’s sister-in-law. My mother and Auntie Edna loved to drive around town hitting tag (garage) sales on the weekend.
Aunt Bea (by marriage), mom, Aunt Tootsie, Grammy seated
My dad and I went off to our jobs knowing my mother was in good hands. I loved my job at Channel 8 so much, it helped me put everything else out of my mind. My boss and friends were so kind about what I was going through.
My dad and I developed a routine of dinner together, then I’d head out to Spa Lady in North Haven for my workout, and when I came home, my dad would head down to the VFW. He came home before 10, and we’d get my mom ready for bed. Gail would come over to help and visit in the evenings too. She and my dad both worked at Gaylord Hospital so they would talk about people they knew.
It became apparent early on that my mother wasn’t going to be mobile for very long. I had to help her to the bathroom when I was home but not realizing how weak she was, I lost grip and bang her head into the wall a couple of times! She would laught and say “it’s ok!” while I was apologizing profusely! It wasn’t long before she was bedridden and using a commode. You don’t realize how capable you are until you have to take care of someone in this way. The first time, I might have gagged and freaked out a little. The second and beyond, no big deal.
I realized it was a small blessing that my boyfriend and I broke up in October. He lived in Hamden and I spent all my time there. If I had still been all wrapped up with him, I’m not sure what my attitude or reaction to all of this change would have been. He was still the first person I called from the hospital though when we got my mother’s diagnosis. I knew he still cared about me and I needed someone to talk to. I knew if I called him for anything during these next months, he’d be there to help me out.
Throughout the 2 months that she was sick, a visiting nurse came to the house 3 times a week. It was comforting to have her come over. A very strange thing happened one time she was there. She was checking my mother out and my mother reached out and rubbed her stomach. Come to find out she was pregnant but not showing yet! How did my mother know?
On weekends, we’d sit with her watching tv and I guess I cooked for the three of us! I definitely don’t remember. I’d go out with my friends either Friday or Saturday especially when Janice came down from Massachusetts because she’d stay overnight. I’d be out very late – I’ll leave it at that!
So diagnosis date was January 31, 1987 and we were advised by the nurse that we’d know the final stage when my mother stopped eating. Well, that happened on a Sunday in March and it must have been March 15th because I was heading to the St. Patrick’s Day parade in New Haven. Oh, I tried to make her eat! It was like trying to feed an infant who didn’t want to eat but without the crying (ok, I was), and head shaking. I just could not get her to eat. How long can someone go without eating? Long enough if they are still drinking fluids, which she was.
t was quite the afternoon and evening at the parade. These were the days when you could walk out of the bar with a drink and watch the parade!
But I had a decision to make. I was scheduled to go on a vacation with five other girls to Jamaica in a couple of weeks! It was a trip planned before she got sick. There was no doubt in my mind that I would cancel the trip. It would have been foolish to go and expect every minute to get a phone call telling me she had died. I was selfish at times but not that much! Another friend was trying to join our trip so we decided to wait until after my mother passed away and go together. It was a fateful decision.
I’m going to leave off here and pick up in another post – soon, I promise.
My previous post was about my mother, Betty, about her life growing up and how she lived. This one is about her and what I remember. Most of the time period I’m talking about here is from the early 60s through 1987 when she died.
Betty and John 1987
My mother was casual. She didn’t have jobs where she had to wear business clothes. She didn’t wear jeans (I don’t think she ever had a pair?!), but she wore comfortable clothes. She wore dresses to church every week along with a hat until we didn’t have to wear them anymore. In our 20s, my dad would give us money to go Christmas shopping for clothes for her. I think we did a pretty good job! We would find pants and nice tops and sweaters. She always seemed happy to get them and wore them so I guess she did! I liked doing that.
My mother didn’t wear makeup. She probably had some 20-year-old stuff hanging around and I remember one time Janice put it on her when she was going out. That must be why I have no idea (or think I have no idea) how to put it on!
My mother was LOUD! When we were young and playing in the neighborhood, she would WHISTLE for us. Like dogs! And you could hear it from just about any area of the circle (picture houses in the middle and the street is a circle around them). So embarrassing.! And when she went to football or basketball games when we were in high school her yell was so loud! My sisters and I of course, now are probably just as loud as she was!
My mother was friendly. When she went to track meets, I remember kids sitting with her and talking and she was always friendly to them. In my teenage brain I’d be saying “ugh”, but looking back, she set that example for us. I think all three of us are very comfortable and interested in what young people have to say.
My mom was involved in our school working at book sales, as part of the Mothers Circle at church, as part of the Mother of Twins Club, and with our Brownie and Girl Scout troops. But she didn’t get involved with any sports politics or try to ingratiate herself with any coaches (ok, only cheerleading coach), and when I felt the need to defend myself or my sister she was fine with it.
My dad would take us on walks or bike rides on Sundays around town to give her some time alone. I’m sure she never had to suggest it, he was more than willing, but I’m sure she really appreciated it! I imagine we three were pretty exhausting.
SHE WAS A READER! I feel like that deserves all caps. She had more books and magazines than even I have ever had! There were 2 bookcases at her childhood home on Clifton Street full of books that I’m sure were all hers. She was a member of the Readers Digest Condensed Books program with 4 books a year and each contained 4-5 books. Nancy Drew, Cherry Ames, and other teenage girl book series were on those shelves! I think some might have been above our reading maturity level, but we read them anyway and she didn’t stop us! She subscribed to 3 or 4 magazines a month that were collected on the end tables through the year(s). She would buy years worth of National Geographic magazines at tag sales. She just loved the written word. I can clearly see her sitting at the table for breakfast with a book in her lap, drinking her coffee, and eating toast. There was never a book or magazine not by her side.
She and her siblings stayed close both in their physical locations and by gathering together. They all continued to live in Wallingford and raise their families and we always got together for Christmas, Easter, and kids’ birthday parties. I’m glad they did that. It could have gone a lot differently because of the age difference in all the kids, but with her niece (Judy) having her first child (Ann) only one year after us twins, it gave them all a new connection. She was particularly close to Aunt Tootsie who was like her second mother and Uncle Connie who was unmarried until the early 1960s when she married Auntie Ann who had 2 adult children and they lived right next to Kendrick Park so we so them very often stopping in for his delicious baked treats!
She was a good woman and a good mother and she lead by example rather than telling us what to do and how we should be as we grew up. I think that sticks more than words!
Judging from the ages of Mal, Jack, and Judy, this picture was taken sometime in 1943. Uncle Connie enlisted in November of 1942 and was working as a cook in an Army base in Texas. Elizabeth and Tootsie took a trip to visit him in August of 1943.
Knowing that Konrad died and how he died right after Christmas in 1944 makes these pictures a little more poignant.
This is another picture from the same day based on the clothing. I can’t help but notice the shapeless dress and hand-sewn hem! Gram had very long hair but it was always worn slicked back in a bun.
Betty was born Elizabeth Ann Posluszny on April 5, 1922, in New Britain Connecticut where her family – mother, father, 2 brothers, and 2 sisters – lived in the 2-story house of her mother’s Ingram relative. She was five years younger than her next sibling and 13 years removed from her oldest sister Antoinette (Tootsie).
Her family had left Yonkers New York around 1921, lived briefly in East Hampton MA, and then moved on to New Britain where my grandfather worked as a hatter and also owned a hat shop – Conrad Hat Company at 317 Main Street. The family story is, that it burned down and he had no insurance. In 1925, they are all living at 121 Clifton Street in Wallingford which was “brand new” and where someone in the family lived until 1989. Conrad went to work at the steel mill after working in the hat industry his whole adult life.
Betty was a little bit spoiled but most information about her over the years came from her sister Judy who was the baby of the family until Betty came along! When the family moved to Wallingford her oldest sister didn’t move on to high school. She worked for people at Choate cleaning (not verifiable). If Betty wanted something and her mother couldn’t afford it, she would tell Tootsie to buy it for Betty. Both Gram and Tootsie were incredible seamstresses and could look at something in a store window, go home, and re-create it.
In high school, Betty bowled, played basketball, and was a drum major with the marching band. After graduating she went to Laurel School of Business Administration in Meriden and then went to work at one of the International Silver factory offices.
Because she was quite a bit younger than her siblings, they were getting married and having kids when she was still a teenager! Her older brother Lou and his wife Irene, had their first child, Judith, when Betty was 19. This is the same Judy who was such an incredible help to us before her diagnosis, during her illness, and when she died. Judy and Betty had a close relationship because of the time spent together when Judy was growing up. My sisters and I share a close relationship with Judy’s kids they are both smiling down on.
She traveled quite a bit based on the postcards she wrote and then took them back from family members she sent them to! She and her sister Tootsie took a trip to Texas in 1943 to visit their brother Connie while he was in the army. The following year, she and her friends traveled to California to visit her mother’s sister, Tante Lizzie, and Uncle Ben who lived in Los Angeles. There were also many trips to Atlantic City, Washington DC, and one trip to a ranch in New York to ride horses! Her photos from these trips were all put in albums and labeled with names and dates and are a wonderful look back at her life.
She also had a few boyfriends! She and her girlfriends were always in pictures with different guys, but I’m sure they were just friends! There was one though, Angelo Losi, that her sister Judy says my mom really thought she would marry. Another serious one was a young man in the army from Boone Iowa. Unfortunately, his mother died and he went home, never to return. But, as we know, everything happens for a reason!
While working in an office and bowling in a league, Betty became friendly with Helen Jakiela and Helen’s brother John would give them a ride home. Helen knew something was up when John started bringing her home first! I don’t know what year this was but I do know that they dated for a few years because Betty gave John an ultimatum of “either propose or move on!”. That was the nudge that John needed. They were engaged and got married on November 8, 1952.
Janice came along in September of 1958 and “the twins” Nancy and Gail in April of 1960. They bought the house I now live in on Atkinson Lane in May of 1961 with its 4 bedrooms sitting on almost a half acre of land with apple trees, a cherry tree, raspberry bushes, and more. A dream house for a family of five!
Betty was a full-time mom until we were in 4th and 6th grade. She was very involved with Mother’s Circle at Holy Trinity Church, Mother of Twins Club, and any bake sales or book clubs happening at school. She was the president of both organizations. When the church started its bazaar, she was always involved in running a booth and eventually was chairman of the whole thing!
She went back to work as an office manager for different small companies and helped my dad with the bookkeeping at the paint store. Her last job was working for our neighbor’s construction company. There were 2 brothers who built many of the developments in Wallingford. Her office would move at the start of every development to the first home built. She really enjoyed working for them and with the other employees and talking with their friends who would stop by the office. We remain good friends with them and their children whom we used to babysit!
Her last big adventure before she got sick, I told you about it in my first post was when she won a trip to Ireland on St. Patrick’s Day 1986. She and my dad flew there in August and spent a week on a bus tour and also on their own. They had a wonderful time and she brought us back wonderful gifts. I’m so glad they had that one final adventure to remember before everything happened.
So this was Betty’s life up to her illness. Next time will be about what made Betty – Betty.
It's All About Family 